Long Live the Queen
by Emma Lockett
Summary: A drug fuelled, hierarchical Hogwarts, led by one Lily Luna Potter.
1. I Lily

**Chapter One: Lily**

Lily wasn't sure where she was. Her cheek was pressed against something soft and furry and she slowly lifted her hand to stroke it. Nothing moved. It wasn't an animal. Her fingers were cold and her movements were clumsy. She kept her eyes closed and let her head roll back in a lazy circle. She wished her mind didn't feel so foggy. She had a feeling there was somewhere she was meant to be.

"Lils. Are you awake?"

Paige's voice was uncomfortably close. Without opening her eyes, Lily stuck up her middle finger, waving her hand generally in the direction the sound was coming from. Paige giggled and small, warm fingers twined themselves around Lily's hand.

"Get up," Paige said, prodding Lily's ribs with her other hand. "We've got forty minutes to get to the station."

Lily opened one eye and narrowed it into a frown directed at her friend. She'd finally worked out where they were: Paige's country house, in Oxfordshire. It definitely wasn't possible to get from Abingdon to King's Cross in forty minutes. She groaned and buried her face more deeply into Paige's fur throw. It smelt like tobacco and she breathed it in, trying to ignore the headache creeping into her skull.

Paige poked her again. "I mean it. Get up. Robin said he'd apparate us to the station but that's no good unless we sort your face out. Your parents will be there to see us off and you currently look like you've swallowed a bottle of wine and two dizziness draughts."

"Think it was more like two bottles of wine and three or four dizziness draughts," Lily sighed. "Eurgh. That's why I feel like this."

"Yep." Paige sounded irritatingly cheerful. "But we haven't got time for you to feel sorry for yourself. Up you get."

Lily opened her eyes again so that she could properly glare at Paige. Paige beamed back at her. Her smile was blissful, almost serene, and Lily rolled her eyes as she forced herself to sit up. Once she was up it was easier to see Paige's expression. Her blonde hair fell into its usual impeccable curls down her back and she'd applied her make up the same way she always did for school, with rosy cheeks and sweeping silver eyeliner, but her eyes looked glazed and her hand trembled when she reached out to help Lily stand up.

"You've already taken something," Lily said.

"Of course she has," another voice sounded from the door. "You didn't think she just woke up like this?"

"Have you been raiding my supplies again, Iz?"

Isidore's mouth curved into a smile and she slightly inclined her head. Half her face was obscured by wiry curls, so far untouched by her daily hair-relaxing charm, and she was wearing one of Robin's crumpled dress shirts over bare, brown legs, but she still looked awake and fresh faced. She was holding a large red mug in one hand and a small glass vial of blue liquid in the other. With one swift movement, she emptied the vial into the mug and offered it to Lily.

"Energy inducer?" Lily asked as she accepted the mug.

"You tell me. You brewed it," Iz shrugged.

"Think I added a bit of murtlap to this batch. Thank Salazar. I can't hold off this headache much longer." Lily held the mug up to her nose to breathe in the warmth from her drink. The scent of coffee was strongest, but she thought she could make out the freshness of murtlap underneath it. She blew on the drink and then held her breath so she could finish it as quickly as possible.

"That's my girl," Iz grinned.

"We've got thirty three minutes," Paige said. "Go and get dressed, Izzy. I'll do Lily's make up."

"My hero," Lily sighed. "Alright. Let's do this."

* * *

Robin's eyes were red and glazed and he looked like he was still half asleep when he took Lily's hand to apparate her to King's Cross. He shared Paige's blonde curls and, like his sister, his skin was tanned and golden, but he still managed to look ill.

"You look like you might throw up," Lily told him, wrinkling her nose.

"Feel like it too," Robin said darkly. "Last night was a bit much."

He spun, pulling her hand with him, and the world dissolved around them. When their surroundings reappeared, now placing them in the middle of Platform 9 ¾, Lily immediately let go.

"I should go back for Izzy and my sister," Robin said. "You alright here?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "Of course I am. I'm late to meet my family anyway."

Her words were colder than she'd meant them to be and Robin took a step back. He was gentle, kinder than most of her friends, and sometimes Lily wasn't sure how to be around him.

"Try not to throw up on Iz. She won't appreciate it," Lily smirked.

"I think she'd break up with me," Robin agreed.

"Or just break you. She's vicious."

Robin laughed and disapparated.

Lily breathed in the air around her. It tingled with magic and she let herself sigh in anticipation. She'd enjoyed the summer but she couldn't wait to get back to school. Hogwarts was like her kingdom and it didn't feel right to have been away for so long.

"There she is. You missed breakfast," a voice shouted across the crowd.

Lily followed the sound of the shout and then ran, flinging herself into her brother's arms. Al laughed and swung her round in a circle.

"We overslept. Stayed up too late gossiping and painting our nails," Lily told him.

Al put her down but kept her trapped in a hug while he looked at her, smiling eyes tinted with suspicion. Lily gave him her trademark innocent smile and he let go.

"Where are the girls?" Her mother said, peering around Lily. "It's always nice to wave you three off at the beginning of the year."

"Robin apparated me here. He just went back to get them," Lily explained. "Is that my trunk?"

"Yep," Ginny nodded. "I was all for leaving it at home in revenge for you missing breakfast but your father thought that would be cruel."

"Thanks Daddy." Lily stood on tiptoes to kiss her father's cheek.

Harry grinned. "I've never fully embraced your mother's passion for vengeance."

Ginny smiled an evil smile and linked her arm through her husband's. "I'm still working on him. One day he'll understand the pure joy that can only come from taking petty revenge on your children."

"We'll try to come and visit for your first Quidditch Match," Harry said. "Let us know when you have the date."

"I'm not playing this year. I told you that," Lily said, reaching for her trunk. "It's too awkward having Lysander as captain."

Al prodded her arm. "That's so stupid. Loads of people have relationships with people on their teams. Liv and I were playing against each other and we still made that work."

"Yeah, well, we're not the same as you and Liv," Lily said. "It was hard enough being on the team together last year and now he's captain it'll only be harder. I'm taking some time off playing."

Ginny frowned. "Okay. Well, let us know if you change your mind."

There was a moment of tense silence. This wasn't the first time the Quidditch discussion had come up since Lily had announced her plan to leave the team.

"Speaking of Liv," Al said, rummaging in his pocket. "She gave me this for you. She's looking after Cadence today so couldn't make it here."

He withdrew a silver envelope and passed it to Lily. Her name was scrawled across the front, underlined with intricately drawn vines. Lily put it in her own pocket, saving it to read on the train.

"I thought you were going to bring Cadence to the station?"

Cadence was her brother James's one-year-old daughter and stayed with her grandparents when her father was away with his Quidditch team.

"We wanted to," Ginny said. "But she had other ideas and chose today to come down with mumblemumps. Olivia kindly offered to stay home with her so we could all see you before you leave. Who knows when you'll deign to gift us with your charming company again. Especially after youabandoned us this morning."

Harry glanced at his watch. "You should get going, Lils. Train leaves in three minutes."

The platform around them was starting to empty as students pulled their trunks onto the train. Lily reached out to hug her parents. Harry whispered a 'have fun' into her ear, and Ginny held onto her for what felt like longer than usual. Lily gave them each a last kiss on the cheek and a little wave before Al helped her heave her trunk onto the train and into a luggage rack.

"It'll be different, being there without you," she told him.

Al ran a hand through his messy hair and grinned. "I know. I expect you'll have a horrid time."

Lily poked him. "Ssh. I mean it. It feels strange going back without you."

"I know. It was strange for me last year when James left. But you'll be alright. You always are."

"Try not to miss me too much," Lily smiled.

"I think I'll manage."

"Whatever. And don't you dare go ring shopping without me. Wait until I'm home."

"I wouldn't dream of it. Try to stay out of trouble."

Al ruffled her hair and jumped off the train as it started to pull away. Lily waved at her family, standing together on the platform, and then sighed and combed her fingers through her hair to smooth it back down. Anyone other than Al wouldn't have got away with messing up the waves Paige had so carefully charmed.

Younger students were scrambling around the aisles of the train, scrabbling to find empty compartments and catch up with their friends. Lily walked straight past them, not even looking through the windows of the compartments and ignoring people that waved at her. She headed straight for the very back of the train and opened the back door, stepping out onto the little platform that opened out onto the world behind them.

She pulled her wand out of her sleeve and cast some quick protection spells to stop the roaring wind from reaching her, and then leaned on the rails and looked down at the train tracks beneath her. She always liked spending the journey out here. It made her feel free.

Hugo would probably join her soon but for now she had some time for herself. She took out the envelope Al had given her and carefully slid out the card.

It was a watercolour painting of Hogwarts, highlighted in pastel pinks and yellows to show the castle at dawn. The paint was layered in translucent smudges to build up the picture and hints of figures were almost visible in the windows. It was so obviously Olivia's style and Lily smiled at the idea of Al's girlfriend thinking to paint it for her.

She turned over the card to read Olivia's message.

 _Hello trouble,_

 _I'm super disappointed not to be able to come see you off for sixth year. Your niece thought it would be hilarious to throw her breakfast up all over everyone (mostly me) and now I'm stuck with her. I regret agreeing to be godmother. Children are disgusting._

 _I wanted to be there to give you lots of special advice for surviving bitchy Slytherins and sixth year gossip! You probably think you don't need my wisdom but I wanted to impart it anyway. Especially since you ignored all my invaluable advice about the importance of staying on the Quidditch team and beating Gryffindor._

 _Have an absolutely wonderful term. Do things and think things because they make you feel happy and safe, not because they're what your friends expect. Try not to get involved in too much drama. And please let me know if you ever need anything. I know you've got the snakes under control but sixth year can be tricky, especially in Slytherin, and I want to know you're okay._

 _Always here if you need to talk. I won't even tell your brother. Have fun!_

 _Lots of love, Liv xx_

Lily grinned and put the card back into its envelope. She found Liv easier to talk to than either of her brothers and it was nice having another Slytherin around. It would be different not having the older girl in the Common Room to chat to when everyone else was annoying her.

"Alright?" Hugo stepped out onto the platform, taking his usual spot beside Lily.

"Yeah. Sorry I missed family breakfast." Lily tipped her head against her cousin's shoulder, breathing in the familiar scent of his leather jacket. He was tall and angular and not remotely comfortable to lean against, but she liked being close to him.

"You were at Paige's," Hugo shrugged. "I didn't expect you to make it."

"Was it okay?"

"Not really. Dad made waffles."

Lily bit her lip. "He should know better."

"Yeah. Rosie cried."

"She just finds it hard seeing you hurting."

"I know." Hugo took a packet of muggle cigarettes out of his jacket pocket and passed one to Lily. "I wish she'd leave it, though. Seeing her get upset doesn't make anything easier."

"Ready to get away from it all?"

"Yeah. Definitely happy it's the end of the summer."

Hugo lit his own cigarette and then held it out so Lily could use it to light hers. They both put their elbows up on the rail in front of them and took a moment to breathe in the smoke and watch their urban surroundings melt into countryside.

"Have you seen Lyra Goldstein yet?" Hugo said through the smoke.

"From Ravenclaw? Why? Should I have seen her?" Lily didn't usually pay much attention to anyone outside her immediate circle and Robin and Hugo were the only Ravenclaws she regularly spent time with.

"She's got a new haircut," Hugo said. Something in his voice told Lily that he wasn't giving her the whole story.

"And why should I care about Lyra Goldstein's new haircut?" She blew a careful ring of smoke and watched it float up and away from her.

"She's dyed it red," Hugo smirked. "And it used to be all weird and curly, remember? She's done something to it so it's wavy and smooth-looking."

"You're very talented in some areas, Hugo, but I don't think hairdressing would be one of them. 'Weird and curly' to 'wavy and smooth-looking'. Honestly."

Hugo shrugged. "Gets the point across, though, doesn't it?"

Lily narrowed her eyes. "Yes. It does."

She tucked her own thick red hair behind her ears, keeping one hand against her face to twirl a strand of hair around her little finger while she thought.

"Why is Lyra Goldstein trying to look like me?" She asked Hugo.

"Fucked if I know," Hugo shrugged again. "Maybe you should invite her along tonight, see if you can find out?"

"Maybe," Lily repeated. "I missed you last night at Paige's."

Hugo screwed up his face. "Didn't feel like it. Always get left making inane conversation with Paige when you disappear off with Lysander. And she knows I'm not into sex but she consistently forgets as soon as she's had any kind of potion."

"Yeah. Sorry about that," Lily said, wrinkling her nose. "I'll speak to her about it again. You'll come tonight, though?"

"Would you care if I didn't?" He flicked ash from the end of his cigarette. His voice was nonchalant but he didn't make eye contact with Lily, meaning his words potentially reflected genuine worry.

"Of course."

"Because you want my company? Or because you want me to make a trip to the greenhouses and bring things to smoke?"

Lily laughed. "Both. Obviously."

Hugo raised an eyebrow. "Obviously?"

"Obviously," Lily repeated. "We're Lily and Hugo. I always want your company. And you also happen to be particularly good at sneaking around the greenhouses."

The corners of Hugo's lips curled up. "Sure. I'll be there."

"Fab. I have a good feeling about this year," Lily said. She smiled at her cousin and squeezed his elbow. The bone was sharp and felt fragile in her hand.

Hugo nodded slowly. "Yeah. Me too."

He gave Lily a bright smile, showing off the straight white teeth that his muggle grandparents had spent so long perfecting despite his ongoing effort to stain them with coffee and cigarettes.

Lily glanced away, admiring the sweeping fields that now surrounded them, but looked back at Hugo in time to see the way his smile had dropped as soon as he thought she wasn't looking.

"Smile, Hugo," she instructed, keeping her voice light. "We're going home."

This time, she thought his smile was probably genuine.


	2. II Lucy

**Chapter Two: Lucy**

Lucy was stuck. She'd managed to get into the carriage okay. They'd been queueing next to the Hufflepuff Quidditch Team, who had spent long enough sharing a Common Room with Lucy to understand that it would be a group effort to get her chunky wheelchair into one of the elegant horseless carriages to get from Hogsmeade to the castle. The Quidditch Team must have overtaken them during the journey, though, because there was no sign of them and Lucy was rammed into a carriage she couldn't get herself out of.

Lorcan was dithering around outside the carriage behind her. Lucy knew he must be getting drenched in the heavy rain but she couldn't muster much sympathy for her friend. They'd been there for nearly five minutes now and had come no closer to finding a way to get her safely to the ground.

"I could levitate you," Lorcan said hopefully, as if he hadn't already made the same suggestion three times.

"You drop 50% of the things you try to levitate," Lucy said, trying to stay patient.

"But the other 50% stay safely airborne," Lorcan said. His smile was audible. Lucy decided that she'd probably hit him once she was out of the carriage.

"We're going to be late for the Feast," Lucy sighed.

"No we're not." Lorcan sounded determined. "We'll figure this out. How have we done it every other year?"

"Every other year I've had a small army of cousins to help us," Lucy explained. "James used to pick me up and pretty much charge into the Hall with me while the others sorted my chair. And then when he left I still had Rosie and I trusted her Wingardium Leviosas rather more than I trust yours."

"That's hurtful," Lorcan said, but his voice was still bright and cheerful. He was always bright and cheerful. "Well, what about your other cousins? You've still got some here."

"Only Lily and Hugo," Lucy said gloomily. "And let's face it, I'm hardly going to be on either of their minds right now."

"But they're your family. They should help you," Lorcan insisted.

Lucy sighed. "Well, yeah. And they do help me. If they walked past right now they'd definitely stop. But they're the babies in the family. They're not used to having to make time to look out for the rest of us."

"It just seems unfair," Lorcan said. "You never ask for anything. People should help you when you need it. That's the right thing to do."

"Well, not everyone can be as nice as you, Lorcan," Lucy said. "Okay, I need you to do me a favour."

"Levitate you?"

"Absolutely not. Go and see if you can find someone else to come and levitate me. Or if the Quidditch lot are around to lift me out of here."

"Someone to levitate you, or the Quidditch lot," Lorcan repeated. "Okay. I'll be right back."

"If you get a levitating person, try to go for a Ravenclaw," Lucy called out after him. "No Hufflepuffs!"

The rain was getting heavier. Her chair faced into the carriage so she couldn't see out the door, but she could hear the water hammering down on the entrance to the school. Tears of frustration were burning the back of her eyes but she was determined not to cry. She'd already decided that seventh year was going to be a good year. This was just a small setback.

"Lucy?" Lorcan raised his voice over the rain. "I'm back. I've brought help."

"Who is it?" Lucy asked. She thought she might sound rude, but she didn't want to be dragged backwards out of the carriage without knowing who she was trusting to get her out.

"It's Mei," a girl's voice called.

"Mei Chang? From sixth year?" Lucy felt relieved. Mei Chang was a Ravenclaw and a prefect and always seemed like she was very sensible.

"Yep." Mei had obviously come closer because her voice was much clearer. "Okay, Lucy, if it's okay with you I'm going to conjure a ramp and then summon you down it."

"Great."

"Unless you'd rather I tried something else? That just seems like it'd probably be safest."

"As long as it gets me out of here I'm fine with it," Lucy said.

Mei Chang must have been quick with a wand because within seconds Lucy's chair was rolling out of the carriage towards the ground. Lorcan caught the handles and brought her to a stop just before she rolled into a deep puddle.

"Thank you," Lucy said earnestly, looking up at Mei.

Mei ran a hand through her cropped hair and looked bashful.

"It's no problem. Really," she said, her eyes flickering over to Lucy's other side.

Lucy turned and for a moment thought that Lily had come out to help her afterall. But then she looked more closely at the girl and recognised Lyra Goldstein, Mei's friend. Her hair was shorter and redder than it had been before the summer and from a distance she could have passed for Lily.

"Lorcan was worried you'd be late for the feast," Lyra said. "And we couldn't have our Head Girl missing the Sorting."

"Would have been quite embarrassing," Lucy admitted. "I think my first act as Head Girl will be to speak to Professor McGonagall about how unequipped Hogwarts is to support physically impaired students."

She started to wheel herself towards the Entrance Hall, Lorcan at her side. Mei and Lyra walked next to them.

"It is really bad once you think about it," Mei said. "I mean, you're hardly the first student here to be in a wheelchair. And it's a magical school. Surely there's a way they could get you here that would mean you didn't have to use the carriages."

"Lucy likes the carriages. She enjoys an added element of risk in her journey to school," Lorcan said.

"Yeah, you know me. Ever the thrillseeker," Lucy laughed.

Mei and Lyra both giggled and helped Lorcan lift Lucy's chair up the steps into the Entrance Hall.

"Well, let me know if you ever need help with anything like that," Mei said. "My mum's in a chair too, has been since the war, and I know how infuriating it is when places just don't accommodate it."

"Thank you," Lucy said warmly. "Really thank you."

They said goodbye at the entrance to the Great Hall, Mei and Lyra heading off towards the Ravenclaw table and leaving Lucy and Lorcan to make their way over to Hufflepuff. The wooden floor was slippery from hundreds of damp footsteps and it was hard for Lucy to navigate by herself. Lorcan reached out and held onto her chair, wheeling her over to their usual place at the head of the Hufflepuff table.

In first and second year, Lucy had felt self conscious about needing to sit at the very end of the table. The long wooden benches down the sides of the tables left no room for her chair but sitting at the end felt like everyone was looking at her and she had thought she looked attention seeking, like she thought she was better than everyone else so should get special treatment. By the time she reached third year, she'd realised that nobody was actually paying her any attention and that even if they had noticed her, they probably didn't care where she sat.

Lorcan straightened Lucy's chair so that she was facing the table and then sat down at the end of the bench round the corner from her. He wore thick tortoiseshell glasses that had steamed up in the rain, and now he took them off to wipe them on his robes.

"I hate wearing these," he said as he returned his glasses to his face.

"They make you look very intellectual," Lucy teased.

"I'm sure. Hey, look, your remaining family members." Lorcan jerked his head towards the doors.

Lily and Hugo entered the room together, closely followed by Paige Parsons and Isidore Flint.

Lily was rarely seen without the other girls and they made an intimidating trio. Isidore was tall and statuesque, black hair straightened so that it fell to her waist, lips painted a deep purple that definitely violated the school uniform policy. She walked at a leisurely pace, smouldering at people who looked her way. Paige was small: pretty and feminine. She didn't look like she should be intimidating but she placed herself immediately behind Lily, asserting her position as Lily's most trusted advisor. Lily ignored them both, deep in conversation with Hugo.

Lucy had spent the second half of the summer with her mother's family in India so hadn't seen her cousins for over three weeks. Her breath caught in her throat when she saw how thin Hugo was. He'd always been good looking: tall and thin, red hair dark like Lily's rather than ginger like his sister's, with a scattering of freckles across high cheekbones. He still looked striking, but his face was pale and gaunt, and Lily's small hand easily wrapped all the way around his elbow as she spoke to him.

"And now my family member is joining them," Lorcan said. "How delightful."

Lysander Scamander strolled over to Hugo and the girls. He said something to Paige that made her giggle and then stepped between her and Lily to drape an arm over Lily's shoulder and give her a long, slow kiss that Lucy thought was probably inappropriate for school. The feast hadn't officially started yet but she thought she would have been embarrassed to be kissed like that in front of the teachers. Then again, she'd never been like Lily.

Hugo left his cousin without saying anything and Lysander walked Lily and her friends over to the Slytherin table, kissing her again as she sat down. She left a space on the bench beside her but he didn't take it. Instead, he started to parade around the Hall, stopping next to all the beautiful, important people to give out small black envelopes.

"That'll be the invites to the welcome back party," Lucy observed.

Lysander practically bounced between his guests, giving them charming smiles and making them laugh before moving on. He was nothing like his twin brother. Lysander was brash where Lorcan was calm, and while Lorcan found it difficult to talk to people, Lysander was always the life and soul of the party. They even looked completely different. Lysander had thick, dark brown hair and was tanned and muscled from long hours running and training outside for Quidditch. Lorcan's albinism made him thin, pale and translucent beneath white-blonde hair. When they'd first joined the school a lot of people hadn't even realised they were related.

"Shouldn't think we'll make the cut for the party," Lorcan said, nudging Lucy's arm with his shoulder.

"Seems unlikely, doesn't it?" Lucy reached out for a jug of water and filled both their glasses. She was tempted by the pumpkin juice but having lots of sugar before she'd eaten properly tended to drain her energy for the next day.

"I guess you could shut it down this year," Lorcan said casually. "Being Head Girl and that. It can't be that hard to figure out where it is and it's definitely against school rules."

"I'm sure it would be possible," Lucy agreed. "Although it wouldn't make for a very popular start to the year."

Lorcan nodded. "I know. Would be nice to see him get in some trouble for his rubbish though."

"I'll find something else to give him detention for." Lucy patted Lorcan's arm.

"Do it."

They went quiet as Professor Longbottom led in the new gaggle of tiny first years and the Sorting Ceremony began. Lysander Scamander sauntered back to his seat, stopping to give out another two invitations even though he was holding up the Ceremony. Lorcan's eyes stayed fixed on his brother as he leant in to give Lily another kiss when he was sat back down.

"Stop staring," Lucy whispered. "He'll notice."

"He's my brother. I'm not scared of him," Lorcan retorted.

Lucy shook her head. "What's the point in staring, though? You'll only annoy him."

She couldn't resist following Lorcan's gaze, although she still wasn't sure why he was watching his brother so intently. Lysander had an arm tucked firmly around Lily's waist and was kissing her neck while she whispered something to Paige. Isidore sat opposite them, glaring at anyone who looked too interested in what was happening.

"What do you think of him and Lily?" Lorcan asked, finally tearing his eyes away.

Lucy frowned. "What do you mean?"

They both broke into applause as the first student - "Ackerley, Ingrid" - was sorted into Hufflepuff. Lorcan waited for the cheering to die down before responding.

"She was at our house a lot in the holidays. I didn't like it," he said.

"Of course you didn't. You've been scared of her for years."

"No," Lorcan said, shaking his head. "That wasn't it. I just...the way he was with her made me uncomfortable."

"Did he do something to hurt her?" Lucy put down her water glass so she could listen carefully.

"No. Not that I know of. It just all seemed a bit off. Like...she'd come round and not talk to anyone and then they'd go straight up to his room, even though Mum had cooked for them. And sometimes when Mum and Dad were out I could hear her...you know…with him."

"Well, that doesn't surprise me to be honest. We've all seen their displays at school."

"Yeah, but I've known her since we were kids. And this doesn't seem like her. She used to talk to everyone, remember? But when he's around she just, like, shuts down and goes quiet."

Lucy nodded slowly. Lorcan looked genuinely distressed.

"I'll try to keep an eye on her, okay?" She said, squeezing his hand. "But I think she's happy with him. He contributes to her whole Queen Bee thing, you know?"

"I know." Lorcan sounded disappointed.

They didn't talk about Lily and Lysander for the rest of the Feast, instead spending their time trying all the dishes they hadn't tasted in previous years and giggling about the fwoopers Lorcan's father had brought home from his recent trip to Ghana, that now lived in the Scamanders' kitchen and kept eating everyone's food.

"You should have brought one with you," Lucy said. "They're more fun than owls."

"They have to have their silencing charms renewed once a month and I was worried I'd forget to do it and accidentally drive the whole of Hufflepuff insane with its song," Lorcan explained.

"Yeah. That actually sounds very likely. Might be for the best that you left them at home."

Lucy scraped her spoon around the edge of her bowl, scooping up the last of her sticky toffee pudding before the plates and food all disappeared.

They went quiet to listen to Professor McGonagall welcome them all back to school and dismiss the students, reminding prefects to stay behind for their first meeting of the year.

"I guess you're running the meeting then?" Lorcan looked sadly at the empty space on the table where his unfinished trifle had been moments before.

"Yeah. I've got a bit of time though. We need to wait for the fifth years to take the new kids to the Common Rooms."

"Are the meetings always in here?"

"No. There's a prefect Common Room upstairs but it seems like too much hassle to try to get up there. I asked if I could just keep them back here instead."

Lorcan nodded and then yawned. "You want me to hang around? I can take you back to Hufflepuff after?"

Lucy smiled at her friend but shook her head. "I'll get someone else to help. You should go. You'll get bored waiting."

"Okay. I'll wait up for you. I have chocolate cauldrons."

He squeezed Lucy's hand and left the Hall, bowing his head to avoid making eye contact with Lily Potter when he passed her.

Lily didn't seem to notice and strode over to sit down next to Lucy. She was wearing her prefect badge on her collar but it was hardly visible under her hair. She looked bored at the prospect of the impending meeting but, to her credit, she'd never shirked on any of her responsibilities since being given the position a year ago.

Once Lily had sat down, the other prefects trickled over. Robin Parsons, Head Boy badge gleaming in the centre of his chest, took the seat on Lucy's other side. He raised an eyebrow at Lily's bored expression and Lily smirked and straightened her posture. Mei Chang gave Lucy a little wave when she sat down before turning to talk to the other sixth year Ravenclaw prefect.

The end of the Hufflepuff table filled up with prefects from each House and Lucy looked at Robin to see how he wanted to start the meeting.

Robin cleared his throat. "Hey guys. Thanks for hanging around. We really appreciate it."

Lily raised one perfectly arched eyebrow and Robin stuck his tongue out at her. Lucy felt a little bit left out sitting in between them. Lily was her cousin and she wished she felt as comfortable around her as Robin seemed to. He had a kind of easy confidence and Lily clearly didn't intimidate him at all.

"Don't want to keep you long," Robin continued. "I'm Robin, Head Boy this year. Think I've met most of you before."

He nodded at Lucy to give her the chance to introduce herself. Her voice was high and quiet when she spoke and she wished he'd just introduced her himself.

"And I'm Lucy. Head Girl."

Robin gave her an encouraging smile and she kept talking.

"We've put together a timetable for patrols but we'll get that to you later in the week." Her voice grew more steady as she spoke. "For now we just wanted to remind you that as prefects you need to set a good example."

Robin nodded. "And that means following and promoting the school rules. We don't want to hear that you're involved in anything against those rules, and especially don't want to hear that you're involved in anything against the law."

Lucy wondered whether he felt hypocritical talking like this when everyone knew he was top of the invite list to all the big parties. His sister and girlfriend, under Lily's careful guidance, pretty much coordinated the Hogwarts party season.

"We know that you want to have fun," Lucy said. "And obviously we're not telling you to stay shut up in your Common Rooms all year. But please think carefully about what your actions say about the values of our school."

Robin looked serious. "The American Ministry has just published a report about the unprecedented abuse of drugs and alcohol by teenaged witches and wizards. The UK hasn't had anything like that yet but it means Hogwarts is being looked at closely this year. As prefects you're all responsible for making sure students are safe and sensible."

They hadn't talked much about what they wanted to say at their first meeting but Lucy was glad that Robin seemed to have the same priorities she did.

"If you see anything against the rules or illegal tonight, please let one of us know," Lucy finished.

She looked at Robin and he gave a tiny shrug to show that he had nothing else to add.

"I reckon that's enough for tonight," he grinned. "Welcome back everyone."

Lily wheeled Lucy's chair out of the Hall without waiting for her to ask. Lucy was glad. She could have managed by herself but her arms were tired and she'd struggle to get down the stairs to her Common Room without help. Her cousin was self-centred and often wouldn't think to help, but she was one of the few people who truly understood Lucy's weaknesses and realised when she needed extra support.

"How was Goa?" Lily's voice was soft and kind. She always sounded different when she was just with family.

"Beautiful," Lucy smiled. "Sunny. Nicer than here."

"I'm so jealous. Wish my parents came from somewhere warm."

Lucy laughed. "Well, you got the famous superstar parents and I got the sunshine. It's only fair."

"Perhaps," Lily conceded.

They continued in silence for a few moments, broken only by the smooth, skidding roll of Lucy's wheels against the stone. The corridors were quiet, students already cosied into their Common Rooms, and the flickering torches mounted on the walls made it feel later than it really was.

"I saw Hugo," Lucy said quietly.

Lily's breath caught in her throat, releasing in a sharp hiss, but she didn't reply.

"You can talk to me, Lils," Lucy said. "I know you spend your whole time protecting him, but it can't be easy just...not ever mentioning it."

"I can't."

Lucy shook her head. "We're family. If you need me, I can listen."

"I know," Lily said.

"Is he going to be okay? He doesn't look good."

"I hope so," Lily sighed.

Lucy frowned. She knew her cousins. Lily was so used to fiercely defending Hugo and trying to look after him all by herself that she was unwilling to discuss his problems with anybody else.

"Rose owled me," Lucy said. "She wanted me to look out for him. She said he hardly ate over the summer."

"I'll let you know if we need you," Lily said shortly.

Lucy felt like she was being dismissed. Lily kept wheeling her forward, past the kitchens and closer to Hufflepuff, but the conversation had dried up and she couldn't think how to get it to flow again.

"So are you, like, making drugs a big thing this year?" Lily asked.

Lucy turned around, startled by the sudden shift in topic.

Lily removed one hand from the wheelchair to tuck her hair back around one ear.

"You spent the whole meeting talking about it. I was a prefect last year. Don't remember it coming up at all. Is that going to be your thing?"

Lucy sighed. She'd been hoping that Lily wouldn't want to discuss it.

"It's just been in the news a lot. We need to be careful."

"Right." Lily's voice was hard.

"I know they're your friends. And I know the kind of things they do…" Lucy began.

"I don't do drugs."

"Yes. I know. Of course. But you'll be at the party tonight…"

"Yes."

"Just...keep an eye on them, okay?" Lucy knew she sounded tentative but she was reluctant to offend Lily when they'd been getting along.

Lily stopped walking. They'd reached the Hufflepuff Common Room and that probably meant it was the end of their discussion.

"I'll try," Lily nodded.

She walked away without saying goodbye. Lucy watched her walk down the corridor. Her school skirt was short and she kept pulling it down with small, self-conscious tugs. She was wearing over the knee white socks that left a strip of bare, freckled thigh visible above them. She wasn't wearing a cloak - one of her friends must have taken it back to Slytherin for her before the meeting - and she shivered a little, pulling her arms across her chest to keep warm.

Lucy watched her cousin until she left the corridor, and then turned to wheel herself into her Common Room. She didn't mind not being invited to the party. Lorcan would be waiting for her with chocolate frogs and gobstones and that might not have been enough for Lily, but for Lucy it was perfect.


	3. III Mei

**Chapter Three: Mei**

Mei was comfortable in her unicorn onesie and nothing anyone said would make her change out of it. She lounged on top of her duvet and vaguely watched Lyra get ready for the night.

Lyra had spent the last half an hour painting her face with foundation and shimmering gold eyeshadow. She was wearing a gold sequinned vest, tucked into a tight leather skirt, and had finishing sticking on her false eyelashes. She looked beautiful and exhilarated, and now that she'd finally decided she was ready to leave she had turned her attention to Mei.

Mei kicked her legs up, rolling into a shoulder stand and then dropping her feet back down on to the mattress.

"I don't know why you want to go anyway," she told Lyra. "You've never minded staying here before."

Lyra shook her head, red hair swishing against her shoulders.

"We've never been invited before, Mei."

Mei shrugged. "We've never wanted to be invited. What's different this year?"

"Lily said she'd like to see us there. It's an opportunity for us. To make this year different."

"But why does it need to be different? I'm happy."

Lyra sighed. Mei knew she was annoying her but wasn't sure what Lyra wanted from her. She'd always made it clear that she had no interest in turning up to the parties the rest of their year seemed so obsessed with.

"He'll be there," Lyra said quietly, a wistful expression gliding over her face.

Mei frowned. "You're not still thinking about him? I thought we were past that."

"I can't help it," Lyra shrugged. "He makes me feel...squiggly."

Mei wanted to laugh, but it was Lyra and she was trying to be honest and, frankly, it would be cruel to make fun of her.

"You know he's not interested," she said gently. "He's with Lily Potter."

Lyra shook her head. "That's what I thought too, but, I don't know, I think things have changed a bit, you know? He wrote to me over the holidays."

Mei sat up and watched Lyra carefully. Lyra's cheeks were flushed and she was clearly trying to hide her smile.

"There's something you're not telling me," Mei said, pointing a finger at Lyra.

Lyra chewed her lip, looking uncertain, and then her face cleared and she sat down on the mattress next to Mei.

"Okay, I'll tell you. But you have to promise to keep it between us, okay? Nobody can know."

Mei nodded and turned to face Lyra, crossing her legs and leaning her elbows against her knees. Lyra stayed sitting bolt upright, probably not wanting to crumple her top, but she looked excited and leaned a little closer to Mei.

"Lysander and I met up over the summer. Twice," Lyra whispered. They were alone in the dormitory but Mei didn't blame her friend for keeping her voice low.

"Met up…" Mei cocked her head to one side and gave Lyra a look. Lyra's cheeks darkened.

"I really like him," Lyra confessed. "And I really think he likes me too. When we were together...I can't explain it. It was special."

Mei took a slow, deep breath and then let all the air rush out of her at once in a loud puff.

"He's been with Potter for over a year now," she said. "And I really don't think you want Lily Potter as an enemy."

Lyra shrugged. "I know. But he doesn't want to stay with her. And he can't really love her, can he? I mean, if he really cared about her he wouldn't have been sleeping with me. But she's really intense. It isn't easy for him to tell her how he really feels."

Mei suppressed a groan. She didn't know what to say. Lyra was so obviously happy but so obviously foolish.

Lyra shook back her hair and grinned. "Anyway, I don't know where this is going but I feel really good about it, you know? And now I'm invited to the welcome back party for the first time ever. I feel like this year could be amazing."

Mei gave a supportive nod, still trying to figure out whether it was worth explaining to Lyra all the reasons why Lysander Scamander shouldn't be trusted.

"I get it if you don't want to come, though," Lyra said, giving Mei's shoulder a squeeze. "I just thought it would be nice to start the year together."

Mei watched Lyra stand up, staggering a little in the tall heels she wasn't used to wearing. She really, really didn't want to go. But as Lyra swayed towards the door, Mei felt a rush of guilt that she knew wasn't going to disappear unless she did something.

"Wait. I'll come too. Just give me a sec to put some jeans on."

Lyra beamed. Mei hadn't been sure about her decision to change her hair and had been suspicious of the striking resemblance Lyra now bore to Lily Potter, but she couldn't deny that it suited her.

"Do you want to borrow a dress?" Lyra sounded hopeful.

Mei laughed and shrugged off her onesie, pulling on black jeans, a grey jumper and her doc martens. Lyra looked disappointed but grinned and linked her arm through Mei's, clearly excited about having company for the party.

"Don't expect me to have a nice time," Mei told her.

Lyra giggled. "I wouldn't dream of it."

Mei tried not to feel insecure as they walked down to Hogsmeade. She didn't want to care about the party but she couldn't help but feel very aware of how underdressed she was compared to everyone else. Two seventh year Slytherin girls sashayed past them, both zipped into tight black dresses, and Mei felt her boots stop moving without meaning to halt.

"I don't know, Lyra," she muttered, tugging one hand through her cropped hair, feeling her cheeks get hot.

Lyra frowned, glanced around them, and pushed Mei into a narrow alleyway.

"Don't do this," she hissed. "This is important to me."

Mei gazed into Lyra's eyes. Lyra looked fierce; determined. It was beautiful. Mei looked down at the floor.

"I won't fit in."

Lyra rolled her eyes and put one hand on Mei's chin, tilting her face up to scrutinise her skin.

"Hold on," she said, reaching to rummage into her bag.

Mei waited while Lyra pulled out several small bottles and then tried to stay still as her friend smoothed various liquids over her skin.

When Lyra had finished, she wrinkled her nose and looked at Mei.

"I wish you'd let me do something with your hair," she said, not unkindly. "It's hard to style it when you keep it this short."

Mei shrugged. "I like it. It's easy."

"I know." Lyra bit her lip and then smiled. "You look lovely. Come on. Let's go."

"Fine. Where is it?"

"Um...it's around here somewhere. The invite just said 'the usual place'. But we saw everyone walking down here so we must be close." Lyra pulled her out of the alley.

The main road was suddenly empty. The excited trails of students they'd been following had disappeared in the time it had taken Lyra to paint Mei's face. It was now dark and cold and empty.

Lyra kept her expression smooth but her eyes flitted from side to side, clearly trying to find somebody who could help them.

"Maybe we should just wait here?" Mei suggested tentatively.

Lyra was chewing her lip again, starting to look anxious.

Mei took a step out into the road and breathed a sigh of relief when she saw the familiar figure sauntering towards them. They'd never spent much time with Hugo Weasley but they were in the same year and the same House, and that had to count for something.

Hugo slowed when he saw them, one eyebrow curling into an unspoken question. He was wearing his leather jacket over a loose white shirt and had a long, unlit muggle cigarette tucked behind one ear. His skin was eerily pale and the hollows of his cheekbones stood out, dark against the rest of him. He didn't smile.

"Hugo," Lyra said breezily. "You heading to the party?"

Hugo nodded and then jerked his head towards a building across the road. The door was boarded up and there was no sign of light or life inside, but he walked with purpose and the girls followed him.

When they reached the door, Hugo stopped and put a hand on each of their arms.

Mei gave Lyra a questioning glance and Lyra responded with a tiny shrug.

Hugo took a step forward, pulling them with him, and the door melted away, revealing an archway into a large, open hallway. They were suddenly surrounded by colour and light and the space around them was busy with dancing bodies.

"You're late." A whirlwind of red hair spun into Hugo, pale arms looping around his shoulders and pulling him forward.

Lily didn't acknowledge Mei or Lyra as she grabbed her cousin. She looked her usual impeccable self, wearing a tight green top over shiny black leggings, lips painted a deep, berry red that should have clashed with her hair but somehow just made her look more striking.

Lysander Scamander stood behind her, one hand at the small of her back. Mei tentatively placed a hand on Lyra's elbow, willing her not to do anything that might get her hurt.

"Come, Hugo," Lily said, her words an obvious command. "I've been experimenting with cocktails."

Lily dragged Hugo away. Neither of them looked back at Mei and Lyra, and Mei couldn't help but feel slightly shaken by the encounter. She turned to look at Lyra to see if her friend was equally uncomfortable, but Lyra's eyes were fixed on Lysander, who hadn't followed his girlfriend.

Lysander gave Mei a slow, deliberate wink, and then let his eyes drift over Lyra, who took an eager step forward.

"Lyra…" Mei whispered, unsure what she was trying to accomplish.

Lyra lifted one shoulder into a half shrug and smiled excitedly.

Mei watched Lyra for a moment longer and then muttered something about going to get a drink. When she looked back at Lyra and Lysander, they had already stepped closer to each other.

Not wanting to think about what kind of mess Lyra was getting herself into, Mei decided she might as well follow through with what she'd said and make her way to one of the makeshift bar across the hallway.

Mei hadn't been to any of the real parties before, but she had expected there to be more going on at the bar. Nobody was making drinks and there didn't seem to be much choice. Instead, the whole table was lined with tiny glasses, each one filled with a different, brightly coloured liquid. No partygoers were crowded around the bar. Occasionally somebody would swoop past, tip a drink down their throat, and continue through to another room.

Mei reached for a thick, canary-yellow drink, and looked at it uncertainly.

"I wouldn't go for that one if I were you," a singsong voice called into her ear. "Gives you a killer headache the next day."

Paige Parsons took the yellow drink out of Mei's hand and replaced it with a bright, shimmering silver liquid.

"This one's better. Pure joy."

Paige took a silver drink for herself, clinked her glass against Mei's, and flicked her wrist to empty it into her mouth. Mei waited for a moment and then copied her.

"Of course, if you're really looking for pure joy, you want one of these." Paige lifted a tiny fist and uncurled her fingers to reveal a scarlet pill.

Mei turned to look at Paige properly. Her eyes were wide and she looked like she was somewhere faraway. She had the kind of face that always looked friendly and relaxed, but her gaze was unfocused and she had a thin sheen of sweat across her forehead.

"Are you okay?" Mei put her empty glass down and held out a hand to Paige.

Paige took Mei's hand and slumped forward, unexpectedly letting Mei take her weight.

"I don't feel great," she confessed.

"Do you want me to take you home?"

Paige laughed a silvery laugh and shook her head, clouds of blonde shimmering around her face.

"I just need to throw up."

She gave Mei a vague pat on the head and staggered out of the room and into a small, walled garden. Mei followed her, not sure what the protocol was when dealing with somebody so distinctly un-sober.

Paige bent down over a flowerbed and daintily pulled her hair back from her face as she leaned down and retched. Mei took a step back, wanting to give her some space but not wanting to leave her alone while she vomited.

When Paige was finished she stood up and stumbled back over to Mei. She leaned forward and kissed Mei's ear before wandering back into the party.

Mei watched as Paige drifted across the hall and into her brother's arms. Robin caught her and twirled her around, laughing as she reeled around him. Mei wasn't sure what she thought of the fact Robin was here a few hours after insisting that the prefects be on alert for drug use at Hogwarts, but she did trust him to look after his sister.

Shaking her head, Mei headed back to where she'd last seen Lyra, stopping to swallow another silver drink on her way.

Lyra and Lysander were no longer where Mei had left them, but she found Hugo leaning against the wall, breathing heavily with his chin dropped down against his chest.

Where Paige had looked confused but cheerful, Hugo looked miserable and ill.

Mei sighed and hooked an arm around Hugo. She didn't know where Lyra had gone but Hugo was obviously in a state and she'd seen enough of the party to know that she didn't want to stay there anymore. She steered Hugo back through the secret door and out into the crisp night air.

Hugo mumbled incoherently into Mei's neck and kept lurching forwards.

"Alright," Mei said. "It's alright. I'm taking you home."

She managed to get Hugo a few steps further forward before he collapsed onto his knees. He knelt on the ground, fingers splayed in front of him, and took deep, jagged breaths.

A giggle sounded from behind them and Mei spun round to the door to see Lysander and Lyra slip through. Their lips were glued together and Lysander was edging his fingers under the hem of Lyra's top even as they clumsily dragged themselves down into the alley Lyra and Mei had stopped in earlier on.

Mei felt like she could hear Lyra's giggles long after her friend had disappeared. She sat down heavily beside Hugo and rubbed his back.

"Chang?" Hugo's voice was hoarse and quiet.

Mei waited for him to continue.

"Can you get Lily?" Hugo gasped.

Mei sighed. She didn't want to get Lily. She didn't want to even be here anymore. She'd only come for Lyra, and now Lyra had disappeared off with Lily's boyfriend. But Hugo looked at her with dark, desperate eyes and she found herself nodding.

"Stay here," she told Hugo, even though he looked like he was probably incapable of moving. "I'll be right back."

The party suddenly felt busier than it had before. Someone bumped into Mei, spilling a tall, blue drink that hadn't been available at the bar she'd found. They didn't apologise. Mei pushed through the crowd, keeping an eye out for red hair.

She found Lily in the walled garden, smoking a cigarette and talking to Isidore Flint. She didn't turn around when Mei called her name.

"Lily," Mei tried again, this time tapping her shoulder.

"What?" Lily spat, turning around to glare. Behind her, Isidore smirked.

"Um, can I talk to you?" Mei wished her voice sounded stronger.

"I'm busy." Lily turned back to Isidore, rolling her eyes and lifting her cigarette back to her lips.

"It's about Hugo," Mei said.

This time, Lily spun round more quickly.

"He's asking for you," Mei explained.

They left Isidore in the garden and hurried back to the street. Now that Mei was with Lily, it was easier to get through the crowds. People parted for them without even seeming to register that they were doing it, and they were soon outside with Hugo.

Lily knelt down next to her cousin and slid one hand into his hair, running her fingers down the back of his neck and frowning at him in obvious concern.

"I want to go home," Hugo mumbled.

Lily nodded. "Okay. Okay, let's get you back."

Mei took a step back, planning to give them some space, but Lily stopped her.

"Where do you think you're going?"

Mei raised her eyebrows. "Erm, back inside?"

"How am I going to get him back without any help? Even if I manage to get him to the castle, there's no chance I'll figure out the riddle to your stupid common room by myself. And Hugo's hardly going to be much use."

Lily lifted Hugo to his feet and swung her hair back over her shoulder, keeping one arm around Hugo's waist.

"Are you coming or what?" She looked pointedly at Mei.

Mei sighed and took her place at Hugo's other side, putting her arm around him above Lily's. He was so thin that it was easy to support his weight but his height made it difficult to keep him upright.

Lily didn't thank her but she gave her a sharp nod as they started the journey back to school.

They didn't talk. Mei didn't think she minded. She wouldn't really have had anything to say to Lily Potter anyway. Together, they dragged Hugo into the castle and Lily led them through a small passageway that opened up outside Ravenclaw Tower.

The riddle was an easy one - what gets broken without being held? - and Mei held the door for Lily and Hugo.

Once inside Ravenclaw Tower, Lily immediately dragged Hugo to the stairs up to his dormitory. She somehow managed to get him up the stairs and through his door, not once looking back at Mei.

Mei watched as they disappeared and then made her way back to her own dormitory.

Nivetha and Collette were fast asleep and Lyra, as expected, wasn't back yet. Mei didn't turn the light on, not wanting to wake her roommates, and rummaged through Lyra's cupboards in the dark. She dug out some pyjamas for her friend and left them out on top of Lyra's pillow. Judging by the state Lyra had been in when Mei had last seen her, she'd probably need more help than just having her pyjamas ready for her, but for now it was the most Mei could do.

When she'd folded Lyra's pyjamas and filled a glass of water to leave beside her bed, Mei calmly tugged off her own clothes and dropped onto her mattress. She pressed her face into her pillow for a moment, yawning into the softness, and then sat up to put her unicorn onesie back on.


	4. IV Hugo

**Chapter Four: Hugo**

Hugo woke up still wearing his leather jacket. Lily was sprawled out in the bed beside him, her hair scattered around her face and across his neck. He spat out a strand that had ended up in his mouth and pulled himself up into a sitting position, groaning.

Most of his roommates were still asleep. Abdi Karimi was up as usual, kneeling by his bed and murmuring his morning prayers. Dennis was lying horizontally across his bed, head dangling down over the side of the mattress, snoring loudly. Tristan and Ming both had their curtains closed but their steady, slow breaths suggested they hadn't yet woken.

The room was horribly bright. Lily never bothered closing the curtains around the bed when she stayed, thinking that doing so might inspire unfavourable rumours. Hugo wasn't sure where she'd got that idea from. Ravenclaw boys didn't do gossip. And the open curtains brought the sunshine closer to his throbbing head.

He shielded his eyes with one hand and looked down at his cousin.

"Lils?" His voice came out deep and husky.

"Morning," Lily whispered, not opening her eyes.

"I feel like shit."

"That really doesn't surprise me."

Lily yawned and rolled over, propping herself up on her elbows so she could look at Hugo properly. She was still wearing her party clothes but had taken off her make up. With her hair tangled and her face bare, she looked younger and more fragile. Hugo always felt protective of her when she was like this. It was the side of her people didn't see very often at Hogwarts.

She reached out and patted Hugo's head.

"You frightened me last night," she told him.

Hugo winced. He couldn't remember exactly what had happened the previous night, but he remembered the panic he'd felt when he'd realised he couldn't get back to school by himself. He'd hoped that Lily would just think he was drunk as usual, but the edge in her voice told him she'd realised something was wrong.

"I'm sorry," he said.

Lily narrowed her eyes and Hugo shrugged, looking away from her. She shuffled up the bed and sat up next to him, leaning back against the headboard.

"I've never seen you like that before." Her voice was matter of fact but he knew her words were a warning. She wanted him to explain himself. It was usually sensible to just do what Lily wanted.

Hugo sighed. "I know. I'm sorry. I added some bits to the euphoria elixir you made. Thought it would keep me awake but I think I did something wrong because I felt bloody awful."

Lily reached out with a tiny fist and punched his chest. Hugo tried to cover his wince to hide how much it hurt him, but Lily's guilty expression told him he hadn't been successful.

"You need to leave my potions alone," she said seriously. "I mean it. I know I experiment but that's because I've put a lot of time into my studies. It's dangerous to mess around when you don't understand the different components."

"Yeah, I know," Hugo said through a yawn. "It was stupid."

"Really stupid. What were you thinking?"

"I just...it was all herbal stuff. I figured I was only using ingredients I've worked with before."

"You're a herbologist. Not a potioneer. The fact you understand your ingredients in their plant form doesn't mean you'll get the same effects when you mix them into potions. Especially when you're using things I've brewed, because I've usually added a load of different components that aren't usually included."

"I won't do it again."

"Don't."

They sat in silence for a moment, uncharacteristically tense. Usually Hugo found Lily easier to be with than anybody else in the world, but today he knew he'd annoyed her. It would be alright in the end. She never stayed cross with him for long. But he'd made her worried and it was making her icier. At moments like this he thought he could see why other people found her so intimidating.

"I'm really sorry, Lils," he murmured.

Lily's face softened. "I know. I just want to know you're okay."

Hugo lifted one arm and rested it across the headboard behind Lily's shoulders. She tipped her head to lean against his chest. Her hair smelt like lavender and was soft where it brushed against his neck. He wrapped his arm around her and held onto her. He hadn't liked hugs when he was little, and would still rather keep to himself, but he knew Lily found it reassuring. She hated that he didn't look after himself properly and needed to know that he still cared about her even when he struggled to care about himself.

"Okay," Lily said, pulling away. "I should get back to Slytherin. I need to get changed and then grab a potion and something to eat before class. This hangover isn't going to cure itself."

"I can come to breakfast with you," Hugo said tentatively.

Lily's pitying expression made him wish he hadn't offered.

"You don't have to do that for me," Lily said, shaking her head. "I know you hate being there. Anyway, I want to try to meet Lysander. I lost him last night."

"I thought you were with him outside? Just before you came to help me. I remember seeing you."

Lily frowned. "No. I didn't see him at all once you got there."

Hugo groaned. "My memory must be more fucked than I realised. I can't even remember how we got back here."

"Chang helped me drag you in," Lily said.

"Oh. I should thank her."

"Maybe. She's a bit odd, isn't she? I was surprised to see her there."

Hugo shrugged. Lily shook back her hair and then climbed out of bed. She smoothed her hair back behind her ears and picked up one of Hugo's discarded jumpers from the floor beside the bed, pulling it on over her crop top.

"Right. I'm in desperate need of a shower. I'll see you later?"

"Yeah." Hugo closed his eyes again, sliding back down the bed. "See you later."

"Thank you Lily, my most beloved cousin, for getting me home safe instead of leaving me to die in the street," Lily said, leaning over to flick his forehead.

"Thanks, Lils. I'll bring you some kind of gift later."

"Herbs?"

"We'll see."

Hugo tugged the duvet back over his head to escape the sunlight and closed his eyes again.

When he woke up again it was because Dennis was charging around the room, yelling that it was morning.

"Weasley Weasley Weasley! Get up get up! Lessons!"

Hugo glared at him but Dennis was already stumbling out of the door. He was wearing odd socks and his bright blonde hair was sticking up in all directions. The other boys had left empty beds and must already be at breakfast.

Hugo dressed slowly, taking time to alter his uniform so that it didn't gape around him where he'd lost weight. He still felt awful. He hoped Lily would have brought him a hangover solution to give him in Herbology.

The Common Room was nearly empty. Two second years were trying to get a kitten down from the top of one of the bookshelves, and a girl was sat by herself in one of the window seats, staring out at the grounds below.

"Chang," Hugo called out. "You coming to Herbology?"

Mei turned around. She had dark shadows under her eyes and her cropped hair was unwashed. Lily always laughed at the way Mei shaved the back of her head and let it grow longer and fluffy at the top, but Hugo thought it kind of suited her. Mei swung her legs around and off the window seat, doc martens landing on the floor with a soft thud, and headed towards Hugo.

"How are you feeling?" Her voice was gentle.

Hugo shrugged. "I've been better. I hear I owe you a thank you. And probably an apology."

"It's no problem. I'm glad you're alright."

"We should get moving. We're late."

Mei swore under her breath. "Lost track of time. I'm starving as well. Did you go to breakfast?"

Hugo shook his head and Mei's cheeks flushed scarlet.

"Why didn't you go?" He asked.

"I was waiting for Lyra. She didn't come back last night."

"Goldstein?"

"Yeah. I think she went with a guy from another House."

Mei held the door open for Hugo to step through and together they made their way down the staircase towards the Entrance Hall. The corridors were chilly. Hugo wished he'd put his jacket on under his robes.

"She's probably already in the greenhouses," Hugo said.

"Nah, she's taking Arithmancy instead. I think you and me are the only Claws who like plants more than numbers."

"They're all idiots," Hugo breathed.

Mei giggled. "Agreed. What else are you taking this year?"

"Erm, Charms. Transfiguration. Potions. Defence. Kind of regretting Potions though. Might switch to History instead."

"I'm taking History. And Transfiguration, Charms and Care of Magical Creatures. My mum's not that keen on the idea of me taking Creatures though."

"Why?"

Mei shrugged. "She was a Ravenclaw too. I think she finds it a bit hard to shake the idea of Creatures and Herbology being soft subjects. She wanted me to do Arithmancy and Defence."

"A lot of people said their parents have been making them take Defence."

"Makes sense, I guess. Mum was in Dumbledore's Army when she was at school. She finds it hard to see that it's less important for us than it was for them."

"My parents say we should never stop seeing it as important," Hugo said quietly.

Mei glanced at him.

"Yeah. I agree. But I got an O in the OWL and now I'd rather focus on the subjects I'm passionate about."

Hugo nodded. He was surprised how easy it was to talk to her. They'd shared lessons all the way through school but he'd never really spent any time with Mei by herself.

They continued to chat about OWL results and their plans for the year, and when they reached the greenhouses Hugo found himself disappointed to move away from her.

Paige Parsons was perched next to a bench near the door to the Greenhouse. She beamed at Hugo and gave him a little wave, not acknowledging Mei by his side. She was saving the space next to her, presumably waiting for Lily to arrive from breakfast.

"Hey," Mei said to him. "Um, do you want to grab a bench with me? Us Ravenclaws are outnumbered in here. Better stick together, right?"

Hugo stopped looking at Paige and turned back to Mei, taking a moment to process her words.

"Unless you're working with somebody else already," Mei said quickly, cheeks flushing again. "Sorry. Don't worry about it."

"No," Hugo said, shaking his head. "That sounds good. Yeah. Let's sit down somewhere."

They chose a seat near the back of the room. Hugo noticed Paige's eyes following him as he sat down, and deliberately didn't look back at her. Paige wouldn't understand why he'd ever want to sit with somebody who wasn't in their group. Like Lily, she was very selective in who she spent time with.

The greenhouse gradually filled up with Hufflepuffs and Gryffindors. The Hufflepuff Quidditch captain stopped by Paige's seat to say something that made her blush, but the conversation didn't last long. The seat next to Paige remained conspicuously empty. Lily must be running late.

"Look," Mei said, sounding delighted. "Another Ravenclaw. Abdi, come join the gang."

Abdi Karimi smiled when he saw her and sat down on Mei's other side. The two of them fell into an easy conversation and Hugo shifted awkwardly, edging a few inches further away. The rest of the Ravenclaws had bonded quickly, laughing and studying together in the hours Hugo had spent with his cousins and Lily's friends. Listening to Mei joke with Abdi, Hugo wished he found it easier to join in.

Abdi and Mei didn't seem to have noticed the awkwardness Hugo was so aware of, and Abdi leaned forwards so he could see Hugo better.

"How are you, Hugo?" His voice was deep and slow. Whenever Hugo heard him speak, it surprised him that such a big voice would come out of such a small person.

"I'm alright."

"You sounded like you were ill in the night," Abdi said.

Hugo clenched one hand into a fist, digging his nails into the soft skin of his palm. He couldn't remember getting in the previous night, but he hoped he hadn't woken up his roommates.

"I'm alright," he repeated.

"Glad to hear it," Abdi said, leaning back again. "I'm surprised three of us made it here. I thought all Ravenclaws took Arithmancy."

Mei laughed and then mentioned something about a prefect meeting, and the two of them started to talk about their duties for the year.

Hugo crossed his arms and leaned his elbows against the table in front of them, resting his head on one arm. He closed his eyes and didn't bother opening them when Professor Longbottom entered the room. He'd already studied sixth year Herbology in his own time and thought his time would probably be better spent sleeping off his hangover.

Longbottom didn't bother him until the end of the lesson. As other students started to pack away their things and stand up, the Professor stood next to Hugo's bench and used his knuckles to knock on the wood beside Hugo's head.

Hugo rubbed his eyes and forced himself to sit up.

"Morning, Professor," he mumbled.

Longbottom looked exasperated. "Nice of you to grace us with your company, Hugo."

"Mmm."

Mei and Abdi both stood up. Mei looked like she was waiting to say something to Hugo, but Longbottom showed no inclination to move away any time soon, so she walked away.

"Your parents asked me to look out for you," Longbottom said quietly. "They're worried."

"I'm fine," Hugo snapped.

Longbottom raised his hands in the air and took a step back.

"I'm not trying to anger you," he said. "I'm just concerned. We care about you. We want to make sure you're okay."

"I'm fine," he said again.

"Well, sleeping through your first lesson of the year isn't the best way to show that," Longbottom said.

Hugo yawned and started to pack away his things.

"Sorry, Professor. I couldn't get to sleep last night."

"Just make sure it doesn't happen again. You're top in the year for Herbology. I don't want to see this from you."

"Right." Hugo stood up, slinging his satchel over his shoulder. "Is that all? I should get to Charms."

"Yes, that's all," Longbottom sighed. "Let me know if you ever need anything."

Hugo gave him a jerking nod and started to walk towards the door. He paused when Longbottom called his name again.

"Do you know where your cousin is this morning?" Longbottom asked.

"Lils?"

"I was expecting her in class. Miss Parsons didn't seem able to explain where she was, which seemed odd given that they should have been sleeping in the same dormitory."

Hugo shrugged. Confessing that Lily had spent the night in Ravenclaw Tower wouldn't get her out of trouble for skipping class so he didn't see the point.

Longbottom looked disappointed.

"Well," he said. "Tell her to come and see me before the end of the day. Missing lessons is unacceptable, especially now that you're NEWT students. She's a bright girl. I don't want that to go to waste."

Hugo nodded and left without checking that he was dismissed. His thoughts felt blurred and he was too tired to keep up the conversation.

"What was that all about?" Mei asked when Hugo stepped outside.

She walked next to Hugo and Abdi took her other side.

"You waited for me?" Hugo was confused.

"Sure. We're all going to the same place, aren't we?"

"Yeah. I guess."

"Are you okay?" Abdi asked. "Are you in trouble?"

"He just wasn't particularly impressed with me today," Hugo said.

"Maybe you should try to stay awake for your next lesson," Mei suggested.

"Yeah. Maybe."

They walked in companionable silence until they were near the castle, and then Mei grabbed Hugo's arm.

"What's going on?" She nodded in the direction of the lake.

Hugo looked over to the lake and frowned. A crowd of thirty or forty students had gathered around the edge of the water, huddled together and staring at something. It was hard to tell what was going on from this distance, but at least two of the students looked like they might be crying.

"I don't know," Hugo said. "Maybe we should just leave it. We're already late."

Abdi shook his head. "Mei and I are prefects. We should check what's going on. We can meet you in Charms, though, if you don't want to get in trouble again?"

"Nah, I'll come with," Hugo said, wondering as he spoke why he felt this new obligation to stick with these two Ravenclaws he'd hardly spoken to in the five years he'd known them.

The three of them walked towards the lake, speeding up when they got closer and realised how distressed the students looked.

"Is that…" Mei started to walk even faster. "Is that a person?"

Hugo followed her gaze and then sped up to match her pace until they reached the lake. Now that she'd said it, it was obvious what the students were looking at.

A body was floating face down in the centre of the lake. It was a girl, bare legs looking eerily green in the water, red hair fanning out from her head.

Abdi seemed to realise who it was a moment before Hugo did, because strong arms reached out and wrapped around him before he could throw himself into the water.

He struggled against Abdi, clawing at his arms, but the shorter boy stayed strong and calm and didn't let him go.

When he shouted, his voice sounded strangled and ragged, and somehow shrieking her name made the whole thing feel more real, more evil, more awful.

" _Lily!_ "


	5. V Mei

Mei felt like she couldn't move. Her feet were jammed into the mud beneath her, even as she rocked forwards slightly, and she had to force herself to keep breathing. Hugo was screaming beside her, wrapped up in Abdi's arms, Abdi's forehead pressed against Hugo's shoulder blades as he mumbled reassuring words. Mei ignored them.

The girl in the water was unbearably familiar, and it was _not_ Lily Potter.

Without really thinking, Mei rushed to the water's edge, shrugging off her cloak and wading out into the lake. It was freezing and her teeth were chattering before the water even reached her waist, but she barely registered the cold as she kicked off from the floor to swim further out.

Lyra's hands were still and cold when Mei caught them. Gasping for breaths through the chill, Mei turned over her friend and ran one finger over Lyra's blue lips. Lyra didn't respond to the movement.

Trying not to think too much about the fact she was holding onto a very obviously dead body, Mei turned and used one arm and her legs to propel herself back towards the shore, holding Lyra tightly in her other arm.

She reached the edge of the lake and managed to shove Lyra's body up onto the mud, pushing her to stop her slipping back into the water. When Lyra was safe on the ground, Mei lifted both her elbows on the bank and leaned her head onto her forearms, unable to summon the strength to pull herself up.

"Okay. Up we get."

Muscular arms reached into the water and wrapped around Mei's shoulders. Mei was now shaking with the cold. She let the hands clasp her and drag her up and out of the lake.

"Merlin, Chang. You're freezing. Do you have a death wish?"

Robin Parsons rubbed his hands down Mei's arms for a moment, and then sighed and started to unbutton her shirt.

Mei was vaguely aware that she probably didn't want to let the Head Boy undress her in front of so many spectators (or ever), but she was shivering so much that it didn't feel easy to stop him.

Robin dropped Mei's shirt to the floor, leaving her shivering in her vest, and then pulled off his school jumper and tugged it down over her head. The grey wool was soft against her skin and still warm from his chest.

Mei was still shaking. She wrapped her arms tightly across her stomach and dropped her chin down onto her chest.

Robin sighed and reached out to her, and she let him hold her close. She hardly knew him, really, and had never had a real conversation with him, but right now she was glad for his presence. And for his warmth. Her hair was dripping wet and left a damp circle in the front of his shirt, but Robin didn't seem to mind.

"Better?" Robin looked down at her, suddenly seeming uncomfortably close.

Mei took a deep breath and pulled away, managing a shaky nod.

Robin looked away from her and down at Lyra's body, next to them on the bank.

"Fuck," he said.

"Yes," Mei agreed.

"Um..." Robin ran a hand back through his hair, looking lost.

"We should find Professor McGonagall," Mei said.

"Yes. That's sensible. Let's do that."

They both looked at Lyra again. In some ways, Mei felt guilty for dragging Robin into this. He'd never had anything to do with Lyra. But then he was Head Boy, which was probably the reason he'd come over to see what was going on in the first place. And now that he'd started to help her she wasn't going to send him away.

Robin took a deep breath and then reached down to lift Lyra from the ground. Her body was stiff in his arms, and he held her up awkwardly so that she peered over his shoulder with sightless eyes. She was still wearing her sequinned top and leather skirt from the party. The previous night, the clothes had looked daring and gorgeous. Now, in the light of day, soaked through from the lake, they looked oddly pathetic. Mei hated herself for thinking it.

The students around the lake parted to let them through. Some of them were crying. All of them looked shocked.

When they reached Hugo and Abdi, Mei hoped they might join her. Although she didn't see either of them as close friends, they were at least familiar. But Hugo was still sobbing hysterically, struggling to breathe, and Abdi was curled so tightly around him that they looked almost like a couple. Mei wasn't sure they even noticed her. She took a step closer to Robin and he gave her an anxious glance.

Robin led her up to the gargoyle guarding the Headmistress' office. She'd never been there before: most Ravenclaws had never been there before. But Robin was Head Boy, so she supposed that meant he had access to the password.

"Mog," Robin told the gargoyle.

The eagle statue behind it spun around, and they squeezed onto the staircase it revealed. Robin nearly dropped Lyra as he took a step, so they both stayed still on the stone steps and let them carry them.

The door at the top of the staircase swung open without them knocking.

Professor McGonagall looked up from her desk, one hand suspended in the air, fingers clasped around a half-eaten ginger newt. Her face went white as she looked at them, and the newt fell from her fingers as she stood to meet them.

"Mr Parsons. Ms Chang…" She sounded horrified.

"Hi," Robin grimaced.

Mei looked down at the floor.

"What happened?" McGonagall stared at Lyra's body, still being held up by Robin.

Robin shook his head helplessly. "Not sure. Chang pulled her out the lake."

They walked further into the room, Mei leaving a trail of water behind her where it dripped down from her robes. They stopped just in front of McGonagall's desk. Robin looked uncertain, and then carefully put Lyra down onto the floor.

Tears were running down Mei's cheeks. She didn't make any move to wipe them away. There didn't seem to be any point: she was still drenched from the lake. Robin gave her a worried glance but didn't reach out for her like he had by the lake. They stood a long way away from each other. Mei dropped her gaze to the floor.

McGonagall seemed to recognise that Mei was too shaken to speak, because she directed all of her questions to Robin. Mei stood and tried to focus on Robin's words, but her head was full of cold and water and the cool, slack feel of Lyra's lifeless hand in hers.

After a long time, McGonagall turned her attention to Mei. She looked at her with a concerned, caring expression, and then stood up. When she spoke, her voice was clipped and efficient.

"Thank you for your time, Mr Parsons. I'll handle everything from here."

Robin looked surprised. Mei felt surprised too. She felt like they were involved now, somehow, and the idea of just leaving and going back to normal while Lyra was _dead_ and they were the ones that had _found her_ was just absurd.

"Could you escort Miss Chang to the Hospital Wing? You've both had a shock. I'll send a message to Hannah to let her know." McGonagall's voice was a little warmer now.

"Do we have to?" Mei mumbled. She just wanted to hide away somewhere.

"Yes," McGonagall said softly. "Yes, I rather think you do. This is a traumatising experience. Hannah will look after you both while you process what's happened."

Mei tuned out of the conversation again, recognising that nothing she said would change McGonagall's instruction.

Robin said something else to the Headmistress and then rested a hand on Mei's shoulder, steering her back towards the door.

They stepped past Lyra's body. Mei felt sick. Robin pulled her a little closer.

Hannah looked like she was going to cry when they reached the Hospital Wing, and immediately pulled both Robin and Mei into a hug. She gave them hot chocolate and Mei thought there must have been some kind of potion slipped into it because she immediately felt drowsy. She lay down on one of the Hospital Wing beds and sleep took over.

When she woke, it was to the sound of low voices from the next bed over. Mei sleepily opened her eyes and turned her head to see who was there.

Robin was sat up in bed, eyes bleary and hair tousled. He must have slept just as deeply as she had. Isidore Flint was perched on the mattress beside him, one hand caught in the back of his hair. She looked bored, as always, but Mei could see how tightly she was holding on to him. Paige Parsons and Lily Potter were standing at the end of the bed, talking quietly.

"How did you end up involved?" Paige sounded nervous.

"I was just there," Robin said, voice hoarse. "I saw Chang get in the lake, and nobody else was doing anything."

"People saw you with her," Isidore said. "They're saying you two are...involved."

"Well, we're not," Robin said shortly.

"Of course you're not," Lily said. "We've never had anything to do with Chang. I hadn't even realised she was invited last night until I ran into her with my cousin."

Mei closed her eyes. Now that they were talking about her, they might look over. She didn't want them to see her eavesdropping.

She tried not to feel bad about Lily's dismissive tone. She knew that Lily Potter didn't think much of her. It wasn't meant maliciously. Lily wasn't trying to say something critical: she just genuinely would never have had reason to think about somebody like Mei.

More unpleasant was the way Lily had referred to Hugo as 'my cousin', as if it was obvious who that referred to. Mei felt a rush of sadness for Lucy Weasley, who was always so kind but so ignored by the golden girl of Hogwarts.

And then she thought of Lyra, presumably cold and alone somewhere, and suddenly didn't care very much about Lily Potter's opinions on social status.

"They're just gossiping because they want to sound like they're involved," Paige said. Mei still had her eyes closed but she could imagine Paige's tiny shrug and dainty toss of her hair.

"It's tasteless." Isidore's voice. "A girl's dead, and they're all trying to create a scandal about some random from Ravenclaw allegedly sleeping with my boyfriend."

"We'll deal with it," Lily said.

"Good." Isidore again. "But Robin, I wish you hadn't been seen with the body. I don't want you involved in this."

"I wasn't just going to stand there and watch without doing anything." Robin sounded frustrated.

"We know." Paige's voice was gentler, kinder. "We wouldn't expect you to do anything else. It's just a bit unfortunate. Everyone saw you carrying the body. The Ministry will probably want to talk to you about it."

"So? Why does it matter?" Robin's words were broken by a yawn and Mei suddenly felt desperately sorry for him. If he felt as sleepy and disorientated as she did, he was in no state to deal with the questioning the girls were putting him through.

"Because they're saying she died from a drug overdose," Isidore said. "They think she overdosed and then threw herself into the lake."

Mei couldn't hold in her moan. The voices paused for a moment, presumably waiting to see if she woke up, and then continued, now more quietly.

"If it's true, if she had dangerous substances in her bloodstream when she died, that's a problem for us," Paige whispered.

"And it puts a lot of pressure on you when they speak to you," Isidore continued. "They'll be wanting to find out who gave them to her."

"Is that really so bad? Who _did_ give them to her?" Robin asked.

"No idea," Lily said sharply. "But if they start looking into drugs at Hogwarts it won't be long before they start looking at us. And I think we all understand that once they do that, none of us come out unscathed."

Robin muttered his agreement, and then yawned again and said he had a headache. The girls started to say their goodbyes, promising to come back and see him later on.

Mei rolled over and gave a loud, exaggerated yawn before opening her eyes. When she sat up, all three girls and Robin were watching her.

She pulled herself up into a sitting position and stared straight back at them.

"How are you feeling?" Robin sounded like he genuinely cared.

Mei just shook her head. She hadn't made sense of any of the crazed swirl of emotions surging through her stomach, but she knew that none of them were good.

Isidore leaned down to give Robin a soft kiss. The gesture seemed too gentle to come from somebody so terrifying, but Robin stroked her hair back and was smiling when Isidore pulled away.

"See you later. Stay safe," Paige said, hugging her brother and then messing up his hair.

"Bye, Robin," Lily said with a nod.

None of them acknowledged Mei. They started to leave the Hospital Wing, Lily standing between the other two girls. Nothing in their appearance gave away the anxiety Mei had heard in their conversation with Robin. They walked with their usual confidence.

"Wait!" Mei called out, surprised by her sudden need to talk to Lily. "Potter, hold on a sec!"

Lily turned around. She looked exasperated. She raised one eyebrow and put a hand on her hip.

"What?"

"I think you should go and see Hugo," Mei said. She sort of wished she hadn't said anything, but she knew she was doing the right thing.

Lily raised both eyebrows this time, and tilted her head forward, her irritated expression making it clear that she wanted Mei to elaborate.

"Um…" Mei wasn't sure how to explain Hugo's state earlier on. "He, well, um, he was there when we found her. Earlier on."

Lily still looked annoyed.

"And from a distance...from a distance she looks like you."

Lily took a step forward, instantly worried.

"I think he might need you," Mei said. "He...wasn't good."

Lily gave her a sharp nod and swept out of the room. She walked with obvious purpose, and Isidore and Paige didn't try to catch up with her, instead leaving at their own pace. Mei thought they probably weren't welcome when Lily was just with Hugo. There was a clear hierarchy in Lily's carefully cultivated friendship group, and nobody came close to her favourite cousin.

Robin groaned and rolled back over in his bed. Mei wasn't sure whether to say something to him, but she felt annoyed that he hadn't been nicer about her when the other girls were discussing her.

She knew it was silly - he was Robin Parsons, one of the most respected and admired students in the school, and definitely not friendly with somebody like her - but the whole day it had felt like he was her ally, like he understood what was going on, and she was sad to have that illusion so abruptly shattered.

Instead of speaking, Mei pulled her covers up over her head and closed her eyes.

This time, sleep was not peaceful and dreamless. Mei was restless, rolling over and curling up into a tight ball every time flashes of Lyra's colourless face burst into her dreams.

After a particularly disturbing dream, in which Mei was trying to swim Lyra to shore but Lyra's body grew heavier and heavier, dragging Mei down into the depths of the lake with her, Mei startled awake.

It was dark now, and Robin's bed was empty. Mei wasn't sure how much time had passed, but she must have slept away the rest of the day. She groaned and sat up.

She wasn't alone. Lucy Weasley was sitting next to the bed, dozing in her chair, a book still open on her lap.

"Lucy?" Mei whispered, not wanting to wake the older girl if she was sleeping.

Lucy opened her eyes and immediately wheeled herself forwards when she realised Mei was awake.

"Hey," she breathed. "You're up."

Mei nodded. "Um...you're here?"

"McGonagall called an emergency meeting with Robin and me, to talk to us about what happened. I came here straight afterwards. I thought you might need a friend."

Mei bit her lip. It felt reassuring to have Lucy call her a friend.

"I'm so sorry, Mei," Lucy murmured.

And then Mei was crying again. But this time it felt right to cry. The whole day had been confusing and terrifying and awful, and it was a relief to let it all flow out of her.

Lucy took Mei's hand and held it in both of hers. Her fingers were warm and comforting.

When Mei continued to cry, Lucy lifted her hand up and pressed a single kiss against her palm. And Mei thought there was nobody she'd rather have next to her right now.


	6. VI Lily

Lily prided herself on her ability to remain calm. She strode through the school, not acknowledging the shocked faces that watched her, and kept her face a mask of casual indifference. She was aware that her world was at risk of shifting into chaos, but that didn't mean she couldn't _look_ like she was in complete control.

She stopped outside the entrance to Ravenclaw Tower. The bronze door handle gleamed in the evening candlelight. Lily glared at it. It made a hollow thudding noise when she knocked at the door.

 _The strongest magic makes men fall but is treasured by all. What is it?_

"Avada Kedavra," Lily said with an eyeroll.

The door didn't open.

"Oh, for fuck's sake. Do we have to do this every time?" Lily hissed. "I need to get in. It might be an emergency."

The door still stayed closed. Lily groaned.

"Can I try a different one?" Lily suggested.

 _The strongest magic makes men fall but is treasured by all. What is it?_

Lily hit the door with her fist, knocking on the wood instead of using the eagle knocker.

"Why can't you have a fucking password like a normal fucking Common Room?"

The knocker, predictably, did not reply.

Lily wasn't sure what to do. She'd never managed to answer one of the riddles by herself. There was probably a good reason why she hadn't been sorted into Ravenclaw. Usually, she managed to persuade somebody else to help her out, but there was nobody around. It was like the whole castle was already in mourning for a girl nobody had even noticed the previous day.

Eventually, Lily turned away and started the climb back to the Hospital Wing. Apart from Hugo, she had a grand total of _one_ friend in Ravenclaw, and luckily she knew exactly where he was.

"I need your help," she called as she entered the Hospital.

She was met with an empty mattress where Robin Parsons had been an hour earlier. Lily frowned and walked over to the bed.

"Hannah said he could go," a girl said.

Lily turned. Lucy was sat in her chair by the next bed along, sitting beside a sleeping Mei Chang. Lorcan Scamander perched on the other side of the bed.

"But I need a Ravenclaw," Lily said. "Where is he?"

"No idea. We had a meeting with McGonagall but that finished half an hour ago. Use the map?"

"Hugo's got it," Lily frowned.

"Why do you need a Ravenclaw?"

"Looking for Hugo and I can't get into the Tower." Lily felt a little bit embarrassed to admit it. She knew Lucy wouldn't laugh at her, but it wasn't nice to reveal that she didn't have control over everything.

"Is he okay?" Lucy sounded worried.

Lily lifted one shoulder in a half-shrug. Lucy would understand.

"It's dinner time," Lucy said. "Maybe see if there are any Claws in the Hall?"

"Maybe." Lily was unconvinced. "Hey, Chang's a Ravenclaw, isn't she?"

Lucy nodded.

"Wake her up," Lily instructed.

Lucy sighed. "I'm not going to do that."

"But I need her."

"She's in shock. I'm not waking her up until she's ready." Lucy's voice was patient but firm.

"W..w...what's the riddle?" Lorcan spoke up. His voice was unsteady and quiet. He didn't make eye contact with Lily.

"What?"

"What's the riddle?" Lorcan said again. "M...maybe we can help."

"Oh." Lily thought for a moment. "The strongest magic makes men fall but is treasured by all. What is it?"

She looked at Lorcan. His head was bowed, meaning all she could really see of him was pale blonde hair and the rim of his glasses on his nose. As if he sensed her gaze, he bent further forwards, staring fixedly at his knees.

"Love," he said simply.

"What?"

"Love. Makes men fall but is treasured by all," Lorcan explained, his voice stronger now.

Lily thought about it for a moment and then nodded.

"Right. Love. That makes sense."

She left the Hospital Wing without saying goodbye, rushing back to Ravenclaw Tower.

"I've got it," she told the knocker. "Love. Love is the strongest magic."

The door swung open.

Ravenclaw Common Room was full but eerily silent.

Clusters of students gathered around sofas and desks, leaning on each other and looking glazed and lost. The sixth years were curled together beside one of the window seats. Nivetha Divani and Collette McLaggen were holding each other and sobbing. Dennis Jordan, class clown, had red eyes, and Tristan Gorgovitch, the usually swaggering Ravenclaw Quidditch Captain, looked unsteady on his feet even as he held up a trembling Ming Liu. Ravenclaw Tower was in mourning. Hugo was nowhere to be seen.

Lily was aware that she might be the only person in the room that didn't particularly feel the absence of Lyra Goldstein, but she ignored the questioning glances of her classmates and climbed up the stairs to the boys' dormitories.

The blue velvet curtains around Hugo's bed were drawn. The rest of the dormitory was empty.

Lily pulled open the curtains.

Hugo was shaking, knees drawn up to his chest and arms wrapped around his shins, holding himself curled up in a ball. He wasn't by himself. Abdi Karimi lay beside him in the bed, not touching him, but close enough to offer comfort.

Lily didn't say anything to Abdi, and instead lay down on Hugo's other side, curling one arm through the crook of his elbow and around his ribs.

"I'm here," she murmured. "I've got you."

Hugo shook more violently and let out a choked sob. Lily tightened her grip around him.

"It's okay. We're okay." Lily kept her voice soft, but knew that Abdi could hear every word she spoke.

Hugo took a deep, shuddering breath.

"That's it. You can do this. Breathe with me."

Lily focussed on keeping her breaths slow and steady, and could feel Hugo's ribs lifting and falling as he tried to copy her.

She kept whispering to her cousin, her words low and calm, until Hugo straightened his legs and turned to hug her.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled.

Lily shook her head. "Nothing to be sorry about."

"I just...I thought…"

"It doesn't matter." Lily squeezed him tighter.

"I thought it was you, today, I thought…it made me think...bad things."

"I know. But I'm okay. We're okay."

She held him for a moment longer, and then he sat up.

"I need a minute. Stay here?"

Lily nodded. Hugo climbed over her and headed into the bathroom. She could hear him running a basin full of water.

Abdi finally stood up. Lily had almost forgotten he was there.

"You're kind to him," Abdi said. His voice was deep and slow; soothing.

"Are you surprised?"

Abdi didn't say anything. Lily sighed.

"You were looking after him?" She asked. "Before I got here?"

Abdi gave a slow nod.

"Thank you," Lily said. She didn't often thank people, but she had a lot of time for anybody who was kind to Hugo.

Abdi shrugged. He didn't speak. Lily wasn't sure what to make of him. Usually people were desperate to talk to her, and she could respond with cool indifference.

"Look...would you mind not mentioning this to anyone?" Lily waved a hand in Hugo's direction to make it clear what she was asking. People around the school didn't know how much Hugo panicked.

"I'm not a gossip," Abdi said.

"Right. Of course."

They both stayed still, waiting for Hugo to come out of the bathroom. When he came back into the room, face damp, Abdi took a step forward.

"Thanks. For today," Hugo muttered.

Abdi pulled Hugo into a tight hug and then pulled away and left the dormitory, not looking back at Lily. Lily frowned. It was a long time since she'd seen Hugo accept a hug from somebody who wasn't her.

Hugo came back to the bed and sat down next to Lily.

"You weren't in Herbology," he said. "It made me scared."

"I know. I'm sorry."

"Where were you?"

"With Lysander."

Silence. Lily felt guilty. She hadn't known skipping a lesson to be with Lysander would cause Hugo so much panic. How could she have known? On a normal day he probably wouldn't even had noticed.

"He had a free period," Lily said, feeling like she ought to explain herself. "And I hadn't really seen him properly yet. I was with you on the train and then left the party early. We wanted to spend some time together."

"Neville asked where you were," Hugo muttered.

"Yeah. Paige said. I'll go and see him later and say I was feeling anxious or something."

"He cares about us. We shouldn't take advantage of him."

"Are you telling me off?" Lily raised an eyebrow. Usually Hugo didn't care much about her attitude towards school.

Hugo shrugged. "I don't know. I just...we're doing NEWTs now. And you were with Lysander at the party. I remember seeing you two, when I was outside with Mei. I don't get why you had to see him again this morning."

"I wasn't with him," Lily said with a frown. "I told you that this morning. I lost him once you arrived."

"But…" Hugo's voice trailed off.

"You were really out of it. You probably saw somebody else."

"No, it was definitely him. He came out when Mei was looking after me. I looked straight at him. I thought he was with you."

Neither of them spoke for a moment. Hugo obviously felt uncomfortable. Lily ran his words through her mind a few times, making sure she'd drawn the right conclusion.

"I have to speak to Chang," she said eventually. "Will you be okay?"

"I'll owl you if I'm not."

Lily kissed Hugo's cheek and then stood up to leave the room.

The Common Room looked much the same as it had when she'd walked through it before, although Abdi had now joined the cluster of Sixth Years in the corner. He caught Lily's eye as she walked past and gave her a reassuring nod. Tristan Gorgovitch looked confused. Lily didn't acknowledge either of them.

She rushed back to the Hospital Wing, hoping Mei would still be there. When she arrived, Mei was sitting up, one hand in Lucy's. Lorcan was now sitting on one of the other beds with a book. He followed Lucy around like an extraordinarily loyal puppy. Lily ignored him.

Lucy turned to face Lily and frowned. She didn't look happy to see her.

"Chang, I need to ask you something." Lily was surprised that her voice still sounded calm.

Mei looked apprehensive.

"It's about Goldstein," Lily said.

"Do you really think now's the time?" Lucy looked exasperated.

"I need to know." This time, Lily's voice cracked a little. She stopped talking so that she could take a breath and collect herself.

"What do you need to know?" Mei slid down the bed and pulled her knees up to her chest. She looked tiny, like Hugo did when he was anxious. Lily found it irritating.

"Lysander," Lily said shortly.

She sort of hoped that Mei would look confused, but a flash of worry crossed over her face instead, and Mei turned her face into the pillow.

"You need to tell me what was going on. Hugo saw them," Lily said.

Mei nodded, still hiding her face. Lucy reached out a tentative hand and stroked her hair back. Lorcan was still reading his book and ignoring them.

"Was he sleeping with her?" Lily was aware that her voice was getting higher, but didn't try to remedy it.

Mei sighed and rubbed her eyes, turning to look at Lily again. She didn't speak but her expression made her answer obvious.

"But...why?" Lily felt small.

"I don't know much about it," Mei said eventually. "They wrote to each other and met up a couple of times over the summer."

"And they were together last night," Lily added.

"Yes," Mei muttered. "They were together last night."

"And then this morning she turned up dead in a lake." Lily ignored the way Mei winced when she spoke.

Mei nodded.

Lily looked into Mei's eyes for a moment, frowning into the stormy grey, and then turned and walked out of the room.

She wasn't sure where she was going, but it had suddenly felt unbearable to be having that conversation.

She leant against the wall, closed her eyes and took deep, shuddering breaths to calm herself down.

"Lily? Are you...are you okay?" Lorcan's voice was timid and hesitant.

Lily opened her eyes and looked at him. He was so pale he sort of looked translucent in the evening gloom. He kept reaching up to push his glasses further back on his nose, and he was looking at her but didn't make direct eye contact. His face was kind.

It took her by surprise when she burst into tears.

She didn't really know Lorcan. She hadn't had a proper conversation with them since they were children, and only now spent time with him occasionally when she spoke to Lucy. But she was glad that he was there now. Because as soon as the tears slipped through her eyelashes, Lorcan stepped forwards.

He didn't say anything. He just stood in front of her and opened his arms, looking nervous but some kind of determined at the same time.

Lily moved into him and Lorcan's arms wrapped around her.

He stayed still while she sobbed into his shoulder.


	7. VII Lucy

Lucy wasn't sure where to sit. In her six years at Hogwarts, she had always sat in exactly the same place for every meal, at the head of the Hufflepuff table with Lorcan by her side.

Lorcan obviously thought they were going to do the same as usual. He started to wheel Lucy towards the table, continuing his casual chatter about the creatures he was looking forward to studying this year. It was only when Lucy tipped her head up to look at him that he went silent.

"You okay Lucy? You're quiet."

"I just…" Lucy nodded towards the Ravenclaw table.

Lorcan followed her gaze.

Mei Chang was sat at the end of the table, staring blankly in their direction without seeming to actually see them. The other sixth year Ravenclaws were nearby and every so often one of them leaned forwards to try to catch her attention, but Mei didn't acknowledge them. There was an obvious gap on the bench between her and the rest of her year group.

"I feel really sorry for her," Lucy said quietly. "She's lost her best friend."

Lorcan nodded, then leaned forward and squeezed Lucy's shoulder. He didn't need to speak to show what he was feeling, because Lucy felt exactly the same way. She reached one hand up to link her fingers through his. She felt so lucky to have someone like him in her life. She couldn't imagine what it would be like to lose what they had.

"I think we should go and sit with her," Lucy said, making up her mind and using her hand to turn her chair in the direction of the Ravenclaw table.

Lorcan looked nervous. "What...instead of at Hufflepuff?"

Lucy nodded determinedly.

"But...we _always_ sit at Hufflepuff," Lorcan protested.

"Lorcan…"

"I _like_ it there. I feel _safe_. The people are friendly!"

"We can't just leave her sitting by herself. I think she really appreciated us being with her in the Hospital Wing yesterday."

Lorcan bit his lip. He looked a little bit like he was in pain.

"Come on, Lorcan. We're seventh years. I'm _Head Girl_. It's about time we stopped being scared of people in other Houses."

Lorcan didn't look entirely convinced and muttered something about 'survival instincts', but he put his hands back on Lucy's chair and pushed her over to the Ravenclaw table, slotting the chair in at the end of the bench next to Mei.

"Hi," Lucy said quietly.

Mei jumped, then blushed, then ran one hand through her cropped hair.

"Sorry. I wasn't concentrating," she said.

Lucy reached out and squeezed Mei's hand, then let go and reached for the orange juice. Lorcan passed it to her and she poured a large glass.

"It feels wrong that we have to go to lessons today," Lucy said gently.

Mei nodded and took a gulp of coffee. She had a croissant in front of her but didn't look very interested in eating it.

"Professor McGonagall said I could go back to Hannah if I didn't feel up to it but...I don't know." She shrugged.

"You should just do whatever feels easiest for now," Lucy said.

Mei screwed up her eyes and nodded again. She looked like she was trying not to cry.

Lucy looked away to give Mei some privacy and glanced at Lorcan. He was staring behind her, looking frightened. She turned around and groaned.

Hugo was walking purposefully towards them. In itself, this wasn't wholly unusual. Hugo rarely appeared at breakfast but he was, after all, her cousin, and did occasionally bother to acknowledge her. This was particularly strange because he wasn't looking at Lucy. He was walking towards Mei, with an uncharacteristic expression blazing across his face that was almost _concern_. Lucy frowned.

To be honest, Hugo probably wasn't the one causing Lorcan discomfort. Lorcan was more likely preoccupied with Hugo's companion. Lily trailed along behind him, face carved into stony indifference.

Hugo took a seat beside Mei, sitting closer to her than Lucy would have expected. Lily sat down opposite them, next to Lorcan. She didn't acknowledge him.

"Sorry for disappearing on you yesterday," Hugo said, nudging Mei.

Mei looked surprised. Lucy was surprised too. She knew that Hugo and Mei were in the same year and House, but she hadn't ever seen Hugo have much to do with anyone other than Lily.

"I was with you all morning," Hugo continued. "I should have helped you when we found her but instead I just fell apart. Sorry for being useless."

Mei shook her head. "None of us knew what to do. You did nothing wrong."

Hugo frowned, searching Mei's face as if trying to work out whether she meant her words, and then his face cleared and he gave a jerky nod.

"Okay. I just...wanted to make sure you knew I was sorry."

"Thank you," Mei said.

Having said his piece, Hugo looked a little bit lost. Ravenclaw was his own House but he didn't often come to meals, and when he did Lucy had only ever seen him sit with Lily at Slytherin. She wanted to speak to him but wasn't sure what to say.

They were saved from awkward silence by Robin Parsons, sliding in to sit down on Lily's other side.

"Weasley," he grinned at Lucy. "I was looking for you."

Lucy was surprised. She couldn't remember somebody like Robin Parsons _ever_ looking for her.

"I just met with McGonagall," he said, lounging back in his chair with the easy laziness of the effortlessly beautiful. "We need a prefect meeting after breakfast."

"I didn't know that," Lucy said. She wasn't sure why Professor McGonagall would have told Robin and not her.

"She said to pass on the message. The Healers who examined Goldstein's body gave her some information about her death that we need to pass on."

Mei dropped the glass she was holding. It landed on the table with a hard thud and knocked over, spilling tea over Lorcan's plate.

Robin's face paled.

"I'm really sorry, Chang," he said seriously. "Should have thought more carefully about what I was saying."

Mei shook her head. "It's fine. Just...took me by surprise."

"If you like, I can just fill you in on the meeting later on? It might be hard for you to sit through."

Robin's voice was careful and gentle. Lucy was curious. She knew he must be considerate, or he wouldn't have been appointed Head Boy, but she hadn't often seen Lily's friends behave like this towards people outside their friendship group.

"That would be great," Mei said, sounding relieved. "Thank you."

"No problem."

"Um, I think I'm going to go and lie down before class," Mei said.

She stumbled a little as she stood, and Lucy reached out a hand to help her.

"Would you like me to come with you?" Lucy asked quietly, aware that Lily and Hugo could probably hear, and that if she was in Mei's position she wouldn't want them listening in.

"No. Thank you. I just...I'm going to go and be by myself for a bit."

Lucy watched her walk away, then looked back to Lorcan. She expected to find him looking irritated. Their reason for sitting over here instead of over at Hufflepuff where they felt safe and welcome had just walked away. But Lorcan didn't even seem to have noticed. He was watching Lily, blushing a little. She seemed unaware of his eyes on her.

Robin leaned forwards, stole a piece of toast from Lily's plate and then stood up.

"I should go and let the other prefects know about the meeting. Just stay here at the end of breakfast?"

"I'll help you," Lucy said.

Robin's eyes flickered down to her wheelchair and he shook his head, still smiling.

"Nah, don't bother. I've told most of them already so it won't take long. And I can eat Lily's breakfast on the go."

Lily narrowed her eyes and Robin laughed and reached to ruffle her hair. She slapped his hand away and he stuck his tongue out. Lucy thought that he probably got away with treating Lily like this because he was older than her. Lily was indisputably Queen in the Hogwarts hierarchy, but before she claimed her crown, Robin had already been her friend's cool older brother.

Lucy turned back to Lorcan, who'd been very quiet so far.

"If I've got a meeting I'll probably be quite late to History of Magic. Do you think you can take notes for me?"

Lorcan's eyes widened. "But you always mock my notes."

"Only when you draw hippogriffs down the margins." Lucy smiled.

"I _like_ hippogriffs."

Next to Lorcan, Lily huffed out a deep sigh and looked pointedly across the table at Hugo.

"Can we leave now?" Her voice was expressionless.

Hugo was poking a slice of apple with his fork. He raised his eyebrows in an unspoken question.

"You've apologised to Chang. Can we go back to Slytherin now?" Lily continued.

Lorcan's pale cheeks flushed and he looked down at his plate. Lucy felt a rare burst of hatred towards her cousin. Yesterday, she'd felt sorry for Lily. Lily had just found out that her boyfriend was cheating on her, and had seemed shaky and vulnerable. Lorcan had been strangely quiet about whatever had happened between Lily and him outside the Hospital, but Lucy had been under the impression that he'd helped Lily out. Lily's behaviour now didn't reflect this kindness at all.

They hadn't _made_ Lily sit with them, and now she was acting like listening to Lorcan speak was something terrible.

Hugo didn't seem phased by Lily's coldness.

"We don't need to," he said, sounding bored. "Slytherin's coming to us."

Lily turned around and showed her first flicker of emotion since joining them at Ravenclaw table. She looked almost like she was wincing, but a moment later her face was blank and beautiful and disinterested again.

Lysander Scamander swaggered over to them. He hit the back of Lorcan's head in what might have seemed a brotherly gesture if he'd bothered to look at him while he did it, and then bent down to curl an arm around Lily's waist, kissing the back of her neck.

Lorcan shuffled away from Lily, leaving as much space as possible between himself and his twin brother. He looked horribly uncomfortable. Lucy wished she could reach out for his hand without making his discomfort obvious to the rest of the people at the table.

"Morning, gorgeous," Lysander said, speaking next to Lily's ear but keeping his voice loud enough for the others to hear. "What you doing over here? Since when did you have time to eat breakfast with Puffs and Claws?"

He was mocking them, smirking while he spoke, confident in the knowledge that none of them would have the confidence to object to his implied insults.

"Hugo's in Ravenclaw," Lily said coolly.

Lysander kissed her neck again, slowly, keeping his eyes lifted towards Lucy and Hugo as if wanting to make sure they were watching him. Lucy was surprised that Lily allowed it.

"Sure. I forgot," Lysander said, focussing on Hugo. "Hardly see you down here at mealtimes."

Lily did pull away now. Her face still looked calm but her hand was shaky as she reached for her coffee cup.

Lucy knew that comment wouldn't have gone down well. Lily had always been frighteningly defensive of Hugo, and not even Lysander could get away with commenting on his eating habits in public. But to Lucy's surprise, Lily didn't say anything.

"Come on, Lils." Lysander pulled her back into him. "Let's get out of here. I want to…"

At this point, he lowered his voice and breathed something into his ear that Lucy couldn't hear. Lily closed her eyes and took a quick breath in before standing up very quickly, pushing Lysander away.

"Ah, don't be like that," Lysander smirked. "We can do something else if you want. I just think you look hot today."

He reached one hand out to Lily's hip, running a thumb over the waistband of her skirt. She pushed it away. Her face was pale and her eyes kept flitting between Lysander and Hugo, who stood up and took one step towards her, face set with determination.

Lucy watched them, feeling tense. Everyone around her looked unhappy but she had no way of fixing it. Lily looked fragile. Hugo looked worried. Lorcan looked terrified. Lucy wasn't sure what to do. She hated watching other people hurting, but she knew that her input would be unwelcome right now.

"Come on, love." Lysander cocked his head and lifted his fingers to Lily's cheek, stroking back a strand of her hair. He looked and sounded more tender now, dark eyes full of warmth.

Lily shook her head. "No. I don't have to go anywhere with you."

Her voice was clear but she still didn't look her usual confident self.

Hugo stepped closer and Lily leaned back so her shoulder brushed against her arm. It seemed to give her strength because the next time she spoke it was louder.

"You're despicable," she spat.

Lysander raised his eyebrows, still smirking slightly. He obviously hadn't realised how serious Lily was. Lucy, who remembered Lily's childhood tantrums, recognised the danger in her cousin's expression.

Lysander rolled his eyes and pulled Lily back towards him, ignoring her words.

Lily didn't hesitate. She spun around and slapped him, hard across the face, leaving the skin pink and Lysander's face furious.

"Stay away from me," she said, voice flat.

If Lucy hadn't known her so well, she would have thought Lily's face was expressionless. But she recognised the way Lily sucked in her lower lip and blinked: Lily Potter, who never revealed her feelings, was trying not to cry.

Lily took a deep breath and turned around, pulling Hugo's arm to bring him with her. Hugo brushed the back of her hand with his, but gave no other public sign that he was looking after her.

Somewhere in the confrontation, the rest of the Hall had become aware of their golden couple's conflict. The room was quieter than usual, and those seated nearby at the Ravenclaw table were staring.

Lucy noticed Paige Parsons and Isidore Flint jump up from the Slytherin table and follow Lily and Hugo out of the Hall. She wondered whether she should go too, but a look at Lorcan's shaky demeanour kept her in her place.

"What are you looking at," Lysander growled, shooting a glare at the nearby Ravenclaws.

They quickly looked away again and conversation slowly bubbled back through the Hall. Lysander stood still, pressing his fingertips to the place on his cheek where Lily had hit him.

"Are you…" Lorcan looked genuinely scared to address his brother. "Are you okay?"

Lysander shot Lorcan a venomous look, rolled his eyes again, and walked over to the Slytherin table. Lucy watched with disgust as some of the boys on the Slytherin Quidditch team patted his back.

Lucy and Lorcan looked at each other, now left alone at a table they hadn't belonged at in the first place.

"Well, that was dramatic," Lucy said.

Lorcan nodded. He looked upset, more upset than he usually did when Lysander was rude to him.

"You alright, Lorcan?" Lucy squeezed his elbow.

"Do you think Lily's okay?" He asked, ignoring the question and avoiding her gaze.

"I'd imagine she will be, yes," Lucy said. "She's got her little army out there with her. I expect they're figuring out how to take your brother down at this very moment."

"I hope so," Lorcan said, managing a small smile. "I hope she's not too upset."

Lucy frowned. Something about Lorcan's reaction didn't make sense. And then it clicked into place and she was surprised she hadn't noticed it before now.

"You like her, don't you?" She gasped.

Lorcan jumped as if she'd startled him, and blushed again, scarlet flooding through his whole face. His albinism always made his embarrassment painfully obvious. Sometimes Lucy pitied it, but in this case it served to confirm her suspicions.

"You _like her_! But...you're so _scared_ of her." She wasn't really sure how she felt about this new development. Her family had always felt very separate from her friendship with Lorcan.

Lorcan shrugged and held up his water glass to his face, probably trying to cool away the blush.

"I know," he mumbled. "You needn't think I'm happy about this. But I can't help it."

"But...how long have you liked her?"

Lorcan shrugged again. "A long time, I guess. I've always thought...I mean, she's perfect, isn't she?"

"Nobody's perfect," Lucy chided him.

"But she seems perfect. And everyone loves her."

"People are _intimidated_ by her. That's not the same as love."

"I know," Lorcan said, frowning. "I know that. I'm not trying to...to idolise her, or anything. But she always just seemed kind of special, I think. I liked wondering what was going on in her head."

"Liked? Past tense?" Lucy was curious. She knew that Lorcan chose his words carefully.

"Well, that was how it started. But then over the summer I think I saw this other side to her, when she was at my house with Lysander. He'd be talking and talking and I'd watch her face while she listened and I guess...I thought...she's _clever_ , you know? I don't think I'd realised that before."

"A lot of people don't," Lucy said, thinking about the things she'd heard people say about her cousin without realising she was listening. "Because she's so beautiful. They forget she's smart."

Lorcan nodded. "And then yesterday, I know she's kind of mean, but she seemed really grateful to have me there. And that was different."

He shrugged and shook his head, then groaned.

"I'm being pathetic," he said. "I'm very aware of that. I know she won't look at me."

"Oh, Lorcan…"

He grimaced. "Anyway, you know now. So we can move on and never speak about it again?"

"If that's what you want."

Lorcan leaned forwards and kissed the top of her head. Lucy smiled.

Around them, the Hall had nearly emptied out. It always felt bigger when it wasn't full.

Lorcan sat up straighter and looked around.

"I should head to History of Magic. I think your meeting's starting," he said, nodding towards the Hufflepuff table, where Robin Parsons had gathered most of the prefects.

"I nearly forgot about that," Lucy said, chewing her lip. "I would have just gone straight to lessons."

"That's why you've got me as your assistant," Lorcan said, smiling. "I have superior memory and organisational skills."

"Sure you do. Keep telling yourself that and maybe one day it'll be true."

Lucy wheeled her chair over to the Hufflepuff table, taking her usual space at the Head of the table. She wanted to thank Robin for choosing her House table for the meeting. They'd sat there for the first meeting of term, but only because she'd already been there. It was kind of him to keep it, given that it wasn't his House. But she thought it would sound a bit needy to bring it up.

Robin grinned at her.

"We're just waiting for a couple more. Chang's not coming, so we're waiting on Lily and Tristan Gorgovitch."

Tristan was hurrying in as Robin finished speaking, still wearing his Ravenclaw Quidditch robes, apparently coming straight from practice.

"Sorry mate," he told Robin as he sat down. "I didn't know about the meeting until I got back to Ravenclaw and Mei told me I should be here. You know she's not coming?"

Robin nodded and told him that was fine.

Lucy was always impressed by the Ravenclaw Quidditch players. None of them had anything to do with Lily's crowd, but they didn't give any indication that they were at all intimidated by this group they weren't really a part of. Most Hufflepuffs didn't bother trying to hide their fear.

Robin was checking his watch and kept glancing over to the door.

Lucy did a quick head count and sighed. Lily was the only face missing. She thought back to Lily's expression as she left the Hall. Lily never usually missed any of her prefect duties, but maybe this time would be the exception. Lucy wondered whether Robin had somehow been oblivious to Lucy and Lysander's fight over breakfast. His girlfriend and sister were Lily's closest friends. Surely he would have been one of the first to know? But he'd been looking for the other prefects: maybe he didn't know anything out of the ordinary had happened.

She opened her mouth to tell Robin they should start the meeting without Lily, wondering how to explain this decision without seeming like a gossip, but she was saved the trouble by her cousin's arrival.

Lily looked a little dishevelled. Her makeup was flawless, but Lucy thought she could see a thin line of red under her eyes. She slipped in next to Tristan Gorgovitch, who gave her a concerned expression Lily managed to ignore with her usual haughtiness.

"Nice of you to join us, princess," Robin grinned.

Lily shot him a death glare and he raised his hands in surrender.

"Okay. Thanks all for joining us at such short notice," he said.

He looked to Lucy, obviously giving her an opportunity to help begin the meeting, but she had no idea what to say. She didn't even know what the important message was that they were supposed to be giving.

Lucy suddenly felt infuriated. The whole morning had felt like an exercise in being useless. Everyone around her was facing huge, dramatic problems and revelations, and she had just sat and observed it all and been powerless to do anything to even help. She hated that she was someone who just watched everyone else live their lives.

She realised that the prefects were all watching her, waiting for her to speak. She hoped her irritation hadn't shown on her face.

"Yes, thanks for coming," she said, keeping her voice calm and level. "Robin and I need to pass on some information about yesterday's tragic events. We trust that you'll deal with this information responsibly and show care to those who will find it distressing."

She felt quite proud of herself for managing to sound so in control, despite having no idea what she was talking about. She made a mental note to never let herself end up in this position again.

Robin nodded. "By now you'll all have heard the terrible news about the death of one of our own students. Lyra Goldstein was a member of my own House, and although you didn't all know her personally, I know we've all been shaken by her loss. We don't expect things like this to happen, not at Hogwarts where we want to feel safe."

He paused, sounding choked. Lucy looked around at the prefects. The Ravenclaw fifth years both had red eyes. Tristan Gorgovitch, who would usually be seated next to Mei as the other Ravenclaw sixth year, was gripping the table with white knuckles. Beside him, Lily looked distracted, picking at her sleeve and looking down at her lap with glazed eyes.

"Anyway," Robin said, clearing his throat. "I'm sure you're all trying your best to support your classmates in this difficult time."

He sounded strangely formal, but nobody seemed to mind. Not for the first time, Lucy felt like she understood why he'd been chosen for Head Boy. His appointment definitely seemed to make more sense than her own. He looked like he knew exactly what he was doing.

"The reason I...the reason we've brought you all together this morning," Robin continued. "Is that we have some new information about what happened."

The tension around the table was tangible. It felt like the air around them tightened. Even Lily looked up, concentrating again.

Robin blinked slowly and took a deep breath.

"We need to tell you how she died."


	8. VIII Hugo

Hugo's head felt fuzzy. The room was too hot and he'd had too many of Lily's modified dizziness drafts. The swirling blue shots were fun when they first made the room spin and erased your inhibitions, but the effects didn't fully wear off for hours afterwards and left you with a throbbing head and wobbly step. He'd been gulping down firewhiskey in an attempt to tame the headache, but it wasn't working.

"Alright, Hugs?" Paige twirled towards him, face lit up in a giddy smile. She was wearing a white leotard with a floaty silver sheer skirt, and looked a little bit like the angel his parents always placed on top of their christmas tree.

Hugo scowled at her. She carried on smiling.

"You're not dancing," Paige reprimanded him.

She took a seat beside him and slid off her shoes, pulling one foot up onto her lap so she could rub her heel and tipping her head back towards him, sending thick waves of glossy gold down over his arm.

"Didn't feel like it," Hugo said.

He looked around the room. It had been Lily's idea to start using the Room of Requirement for parties. Until their fifth year, students had been aware of the room but, perhaps out of respect for the important part it had played in the war, had avoided using it. When Lily Potter came along and decided it was an ideal place for illicit activities, people had been happy enough to follow her.

Tonight, the room was softly lit by flickering lanterns. The dance floor was cool, green tile, with a golden bar across one end, and the surrounding spaces were dark and soft, with plush black couches and tall bar stalls. The party was quieter than some, just some of the sixth and seventh years, but the drinks were flowing and the potions were strong.

Lily was dancing near the bar, tangled up with one of Lysander's friends and pointedly ignoring her ex-boyfriend's withering scowls from across the room. Hugo wasn't surprised that she'd managed to bounce back so quickly. Their break up had only been two days ago, and Lily looked like she'd never even been hurt. But he was worried about how she was feeling underneath the lipstick and laughter.

Paige was still standing next to him. He looked away from his cousin.

"One day I'll get you dancing," Paige laughed. "I promise."

"Whatever."

Paige ignored his hostility. She always did. She was used to people being desperate to be around her, and it had given her a kind of easy charm that made her immune to rudeness.

She turned to face him and swung her feet up onto his lap, nudging one of his legs with her toes. He didn't bother pushing her away. She rested her head against his shoulder and tilted her face up towards his neck.

"Look at Iz and my brother," Paige said, breath warm against Hugo's skin. "They're sickening."

Hugo followed her gaze. Robin Parsons and Isidore Flint were dancing next to the fireplace. She was wrapped tightly in his arms and his lips were pressed against her forehead. One of her hands was tangled in his hair, skin dark against his gold, and they both looked blissfully happy.

"It's not fair." Paige's head grew heavier against him.

"What's not fair?" Hugo looked away from Robin and Isidore to glance down at Paige. Her face was crumpled into a confused pout that made him think of young children when they don't get what they want.

"I think that one day I would like what they have," Paige murmured sleepily. "I want someone to make me feel how they feel."

It was a confession: Hugo knew that. Paige was renowned for flitting between guys, never happy with one person for long, always too good for whichever foolish idiot had caught her eye. She was lighthearted and fun, determined to squeeze every last bit of enjoyment out of every opportunity, and this rare show of vulnerability went against the face she showed to the world.

Hugo sighed and put an arm around her. He didn't like being this close to people, but Paige had always resolutely ignored any barriers he erected, and he _had_ known her for a long time. If she was feeling fragile he was okay with being there for her.

"Do you want it?" Paige asked, still watching her brother.

"What?"

" _Love_ ," she said.

"Oh." Hugo shrugged. "I don't know. Don't think about it much."

Paige nodded against him.

"I do," she whispered.

Hugo tightened his arm around her. In a minute she'd either pass out or get bored and go back to the dancefloor. For now, he didn't mind holding onto her for a bit if it helped her get out of whatever mood she'd talked herself into.

Paige rearranged her puzzled expression into a smile, and lifted her face towards him, soft lips grazing against his.

Hugo pulled away.

"Don't."

"Why?" Paige moved closer again.

Her legs were still draped over his. She pulled herself up and onto his lap, and moved one leg to his other side so that she was straddling him.

"Stop it, Paige."

In the past, Hugo would have just picked her up and moved her. Paige was often like this when she was drunk and she wouldn't be offended. But he'd lost a lot of weight. She was tiny, but he still wasn't sure he was strong enough to lift her. And he didn't want to hurt her.

Paige's lips were attached to him again, and she moved one hand between them, placing her fingers at the zip on his jeans.

"I mean it," Hugo snapped, pushing her away from him.

He didn't think he'd pushed her hard, but Paige slid off his lap and landed on the floor. She looked up at him, startled.

"Shit. I'm sorry."

Hugo reached up a hand to help her stand up. Paige glared at it.

"Did I hurt you?" Hugo leaned forwards so he could speak more gently.

Paige shook her head. This time, she let him help her get to her feet.

"Why do you always do that?" She frowned at him.

"What?"

"Push me away."

Hugo felt exasperated. They'd had this conversation so many times before. But Paige was never sober so she never remembered.

"I just...I'm not interested," he said. His head still hurt and he couldn't be bothered to have yet another emotional discussion Paige would have no recollection of in the morning.

"You don't think I'm pretty?"

"I didn't say that."

"So...why not?"

Hugo sighed, running one hand back through his hair. He understood why Paige felt worried. She wasn't used to being rejected. And he was one of the few people that had never accepted her advances. Once, when she was in a particularly honest mood, she had confessed that she wanted to be with him because it seemed to make sense. She was Lily's best friend, and he was Lily's favourite relative, and Lily was queen. If they were together the whole group would be tighter, their statuses more secure. He wasn't sure she remembered telling him that. They'd never spoken about it since.

"You know I don't want it," he said, rubbing his forehead.

"Me?"

"Anyone."

"Sex?"

"Any of it."

Paige looked confused. It always confused her. In the morning, he'd ask Lily to have another conversation with her about it.

"I have to go," Hugo said. "My head's killing me."

Paige shrugged and smiled, looping her arms around his shoulders to give him a hug and a quick kiss on the cheek. It always surprised him, how quick she was to forgive. It was an impressive quality.

"Sleep tight," she said in a sing-song voice.

"You need me to walk you back to Slytherin?"

He felt obliged to ask. Drunk Paige didn't always manage to get back to the dungeons and had occasionally been discovered asleep in the Entrance Hall in the morning. The teachers all believed her story of sleepwalking, and Lily thought it was hilarious, but Hugo sometimes worried that she'd get hurt.

"Nope," she beamed. "I'm going to do more dancing."

She kissed his cheek again and then turned and fluttered over to a Ravenclaw seventh year, one of her brother's friends. Hugo watched her go with a faint smile before making his exit, stopping to pick up another bottle of firewhiskey for the road.

Ravenclaw Tower was almost empty when he reached it. The fire was smouldering, almost out, and the only light was from the glowing stars adorning the ceiling. The seventh years were all either already in bed, still enjoying the party, or (most likely) had snuck out to the library to squeeze in some Friday night revision. But some of Hugo's fellow sixth years were still up, scattered around the Common Room.

Tristan Gorgovitch was asleep by the window, still in his Quidditch robes, arms wrapped around a Quaffle. Collette McLaggen was squeezed into the window seat next to him, tucked under the same blanket. Her eyes were closed but one hand was lifted, presumably conducting the beat to one of the symphonies that constantly played through her head.

Abdi Karimi was sitting by the fireplace, surrounded by huge sheets of paper, covered in neatly drawn grids and cramped handwriting.

Hugo put down his empty firewhiskey bottle and stumbled over to Abdi, dropping down beside him.

"This looks very clever," he told Abdi, lying down on his stomach to look at the hand drawn spreadsheets.

Abdi's tiny handwriting swam across Hugo's gaze. He struggled to make out what the words said. He wished he hadn't had that last drink.

"It's not," Abdi informed him. "It's for Herbology. I'm trying to work out the ideal conditions for the Shrivelfig. You wouldn't need to do all this. It just doesn't come naturally to me."

"The Shrivelfig?" The word came out slurred. It wasn't an easy thing to say in the middle of the night after consuming Lily Potter's potions and vast quantities of alcohol.

"Yeah. For the project? Whenever we have plant-care projects they lower my average score. But it's NEWTs now. I can't let that happen."

Abdi sounded a little bit panicked. Most Ravenclaws sounded a little bit panicked when they started talking about things they didn't find easy.

Hugo thought about the project. It hadn't even occurred to him to find it stressful. Looking after plants was simple.

"I'll help you," he said to Abdi. "We will have the very best shrivelivelfigs."

Abdi laughed and shook his head. "Good use of your words, Hugo. You should go to bed."

Hugo rolled over onto his back and blinked up at Abdi.

Abdi blushed. It wasn't always obvious when he was blushing. His face stayed calm and his dark skin hid the colour, but Hugo had shared a dormitory with him long enough to notice the way his cheeks grew richer.

"What?" Hugo was confused.

"Um. Your zip's undone." Abdi nodded at Hugo's jeans.

Hugo swore and sat up, doing up the zip as he moved.

"It wasn't...I wasn't with anyone," Hugo said, for some reason feeling the need for Abdi to understand.

Abdi shrugged and looked back down at his spreadsheets.

"I really wasn't," Hugo said. "It just...it was...Paige always starts on me when she's drunk. Even though I told her not to."

A little part of him, deep down, felt like he was betraying Paige. She was a friend, and he was saying something that would embarrass her. But he was too drunk to really care.

Abdi looked concerned. "She did something you didn't want?"

"No. Not really. She just...it's fine. She knows. Nothing happened. But...my zip."

Abdi sighed and folded up the spreadsheet he'd been working on, putting his sheets and books into a neat pile and then moving up to sit a little closer to Hugo.

"Are you okay?" He said gently.

Hugo frowned. He wasn't sure what to say.

Abdi kept his voice calm. "Is there anything you want to talk about?"

"No. Yes. Maybe."

Abdi waited patiently, his expression reassuring. Hugo took several deep breaths, working out what he wanted to say.

"I just don't know why I don't want it," he eventually said. "Everyone else is always getting together and breaking up and trying…things. And Paige...other guys are always all over her. But I just don't want her. It. Any of it."

"Sex?"

"I guess. Yeah. I don't really get the appeal."

They were silent for a moment. Hugo was drunk but still sober enough to realise he'd just confessed a very secret part of himself to somebody he didn't actually know very well.

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, I'm not interested in sex either," Abdi eventually said.

His voice was very quiet. Hugo thought he'd probably never had a conversation like this before.

"Yeah, but that's your religion, isn't it? I read about it once. Sex is a gift from Allah? I thought all muslims didn't want sex before marriage," Hugo said.

Abdi shrugged. "I'm not sure you can really make statements that start "all muslims". I mean, yeah, technically I think that stuff's meant to be true. But loads of my friends back in London have sex. I'm just not sure I want to be with anyone."

"I used to think I just didn't want to be with anyone," Hugo said. "But I think it's different now. I could love someone, I think. Just...not the other stuff."

He felt a sudden need for Abdi to understand, to recognise the confusing jumble of feelings that kept surging through his chest and stomach.

"I like how I feel when I'm near you," he told Abdi quietly. "I mean, I liked how I felt when I was near you the other day. After we found her. You made me feel safe."

Abdi looked at him. His eyes were very dark, almost black, with heavy lids, and his eyelashes were unusually long.

"Sorry," Hugo said. He lay back down on the ground, curling up into a ball near Abdi's leg.

"Don't be sorry."

"I'm drunk and I'm saying all this nonsense that you don't want to hear."

"I didn't say I didn't want to hear it."

Hugo bit his lip, waiting for Abdi to speak again. He felt dizzy and excited. The words kept escaping through his lips without him giving them permission to leave his throat.

His eyes suddenly felt very heavy. He hadn't been sleeping well since Lyra's death, and he was reminded how exhausted he felt.

Abdi shuffled a little bit closer to him and put a hand in his hair, stroking the back of his head. His touch was soothing.

"Yeah," Abdi's voice was very soft. "I think I like how I feel when I'm near you too." 


	9. IX Lily

Lily always forgot about the rest of the world when she was in Potions. Professor Clearwater was happy for her to sit in the corner of the room by herself and set her different work from the rest of the class, letting her feel her way through her studies.

She shelled doxy eggs and grated dead bowtruckles and then blended them with exotic muggle fruits like lychees and papaya. She watched the colour of her potion darken from grey-blue to a deep turquoise, then tipped in strained murtlap tentacles to bring it back to a pale green. Silver spirals rose above it and she kept her head out of the steam, not wanting to breathe in the gas and become drowsy.

A hand pressed on her shoulder and Lily jumped.

"My apologies," Professor Clearwater said. "The lesson's over."

Lily looked around the room and was startled to find that most of the other students had already packed away. Hugo, sitting a few desks in front of her, picked up his bag and headed over.

"You go ahead," Lily told him. "It'll take me a while to clean up. I lost track of time."

Hugo rolled his eyes. "You always do. I'll wait. I feel like I haven't seen you for ages."

Lily started to pack up her ingredients, leaving the cauldron simmering while she put away her things. She could leave the potion overnight and pick up where she'd left off tomorrow.

"That's because you _haven't_ seen me for ages. It's not my fault you decided to spend all weekend shut up in Ravenclaw Tower hanging out with people we've never spoken to."

She was aware that she was at risk of sounding bitter, but she didn't bother altering her tone.

"Mei was upset," Hugo said, shrugging. "Lyra's fathers came to pick up all her stuff. I wanted to make sure she was okay."

"Sure." Lily started to wipe down the table, careful not to touch the patches she'd spilt doxy yolk on.

"We could do something tonight?" Hugo put down his bag to help her clean the table. "I don't really want to go to dinner, but after?"

Lily shook her head. "I've got Astronomy. Tomorrow? Let's have drinks before Paige's birthday party?"

They finished cleaning. Lily carefully moved her cauldron so it was right in the corner of the room, out of the way for other students using the classroom, and then linked arms with her cousin to leave the classroom.

"You took your time."

Lysander Scamander pulled himself up from where he was slouching against a wall outside the classroom. He was wearing his Quidditch jacket even though Lily was pretty sure that Slytherin didn't have practice tonight. His arms were crossed tightly over his chest and he was scowling.

"What are you doing here, Lys?" Lily suddenly felt very tired.

"Waiting for _you_." He sounded indignant.

Hugo glared at him. "Well, you've seen her now. You can go."

Lysander ignored him and stepped closer, stopping inches from Lily's face. He put a hand on her shoulder, not acknowledging the fact that Lily was still holding on to Hugo with her other arm.

"We should talk," he said, rubbing her arm.

His hand felt heavy against her, his thumb digging into her shoulder. Lily shrugged him off.

"I'll meet you later Hugo," she said, pulling away from her cousin.

Hugo frowned at her but didn't disagree. She supposed she probably sounded like she was sure of her choice. She was good at saying things like she felt sure.

Hugo shrugged. "Come find me after Astronomy if you want. Or tomorrow."

Lily nodded and watched him walk away. Lysander slung an arm around her shoulder and started to guide her down the corridor. She didn't push him away. She felt very small.

"I've missed you," Lysander breathed into Lily's hair.

He steered her down the staircases and led her out into the grounds and the evening sunshine. She suppressed a shiver as they passed the lake. Lysander shrugged off his Quidditch jacket and threw it over her shoulders.

"Here. Let's sit," he said, pulling her down onto the grass at the edge of the lake.

Lily stared at the water. She hadn't been there when Lyra had been found, but it didn't feel right to sit so close to where her classmate had died.

Lysander was looking at her expectantly, so she sat down.

"Why won't you talk to me?" Lysander sounded sad, and looked at her with puppy-dog eyes. "You've been avoiding me all week."

Lily rubbed her eyes.

"Come on, babe. I love you. Don't shut me out," he said, edging closer to her.

"Lys…"

He reached out and stroked the back of her hand with his thumb.

"This feels right, doesn't it?" He said. "You and me. Together. This is how we should be. Tell me you feel the same way."

Lily shook her head and pulled her hand away.

"We're over, Lys."

The change in Lysander's expression was instant. A moment ago, he had looked at her with wide, loving eyes. Now his face was completely emotionless.

"Whatever. I don't need you anyway."

Lily sighed. "Don't say that."

"Why not? It's true, isn't it?" Lysander laughed derisively. "We both know who benefits more from this relationship. You get to be seen on the arm of the quidditch captain and get invites to all the most exclusive parties. I just have to put up with a snivelling sixth year. And now _you're_ the one trying to end it? I don't think so."

"You _cheated_ on me, Lys," Lily snapped, tears threatening to spill. "You slept with someone else!"

"Of course I slept with someone else! What, you think your pathetic attempts to dress up and please me were going to keep me satisfied? You're not enough, Lily. Not by yourself. You can't blame me for looking elsewhere."

Lily was crying now. She didn't want to be, but she couldn't hold the tears in. He'd always known how to get to her.

"Oh, come on. Don't cry. No need to be so sensitive," Lysander said, reaching for her hand again. "Come on. You know I can't control myself around you. I didn't mean it. Don't make such a fuss."

Lily let him take her hand. When her fingers curled around his, he turned his face towards hers and pressed a soft kiss against her lips.

"I love you, Lils. You know that. You're everything to me," he said gently. "Be mine again. You know you want to. We're great together. You didn't mean it when you said it was over."

Lily felt confused. She wanted to pull away, but his words were soft and sweet and his breath tasted like apple.

"Goldstein didn't matter to me, Lils. I promise," he murmured. "You're the only one for me. She's irrelevant."

He tipped his head to kiss her neck, and Lily lifted her fingertips to her eyes to brush away her tears. She wiped her eyes and then very slowly extricated herself from his arms.

"No," she told him.

"No?"

"You don't get to say that. You cheated on me with Lyra Goldstein and then the next morning she turned up dead in this lake. You don't get to now decide she's irrelevant."

The more she spoke, the more sure of herself she felt. She pulled herself to her feet.

Lysander raised his eyebrows. "Oh, stop making a scene, Lily. You're embarrassing yourself."

"A girl is _dead_ ," Lily hissed. "What did you _do_ to her?"

Lysander rolled his eyes and lay back in the grass. Lily stayed still, staring at him in incredulity, but he ignored her.

"I'm going to be late for Astronomy," she said eventually. "I need to go. Don't come near me again."

She almost ran to Astronomy and was out of breath when she reached the tower. The whole encounter with Lysander had completely unsettled her and she had to remind herself to calm down before entering the classroom. She stood outside the door and took several deep breaths, then combed her hair out of her face and straightened her robes.

Isidore raised an eyebrow when Lily came into the classroom. Professor Corner called over that he was docking five points from Slytherin for lateness, but Lily didn't acknowledge him.

"Everything okay?" Isidore asked when Lily took her seat beside her.

Lily smiled. "Why wouldn't it be?"

Isidore gave a tiny shrug. "You look flustered. And a little birdy told me you and Scamander were having a talk."

"Well, I don't anticipate having any more talks with him," Lily said.

"It's over?"

"Conclusively."

Isidore nodded. "Good."

"I think so."

Lily focussed her telescope and unfurled her star chart. Astronomy didn't come naturally to her like Potions did, but she enjoyed the calm of the Astronomy Tower and the way the stars made her feel very small.

"Did you ask him about Goldstein?" Isidore was peering through her own telescope and didn't turn to look at Lily, but her words were careful and clear.

"There's not any point. What would I ask?"

"Oh, I don't know. People are saying she took a potion, you know? And it made her throw herself into the lake."

"I heard that too."

"Do you know anything about that?"

"No. Why would I?"

Isidore shrugged. "Potions are your speciality, darling. You're the main supplier for the student population."  
"Well, I never sold to Lyra Goldstein," Lily said. "I don't think I ever even spoke to her."

Isidore laughed. "No, I'm not sure _anyone_ ever spoke to her. Speaking of Potions supplying, I'm running low. Have you got anything for me?"

Lily glanced around the room to make sure nobody was looking in their direction, then reached into her bag for a small vial full of thick pearly liquid.

Isidore took the bottle from her and looked at it for a moment before sliding it into her pocket.

"Does it look different to normal?"

"Only a little bit. I added some ground oyster shell."

"What does that do?"

"It works a bit quicker. If you forget to take it one morning you can take it just before having sex and it's just as strong a contraceptive."

Isidore nodded thoughtfully. "Thank you."

Lily smiled. "No problem. Tell Robin he can give me a night off prefect patrols in return."

Isidore rolled her eyes. "Maybe."

For the rest of the lesson, they worked side-by-side in silence. When Professor Corner told them to pack up, Lily told Isidore to go on ahead.

"I don't feel like heading back to Slytherin yet. I'll catch up with you."

Isidore narrowed her eyes. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine. I just some alone time."

Isidore lifted a hand, perhaps considering giving her a hug, and then thought better of it. Isidore Flint was not known for her affection.

When the students had left, Lily took a deep breath and pressed her forehead against the cool stone wall. Charms stopped the wind and rain entering the Astronomy classroom, but it was still open to the air and the cold. She found it comforting.

She considered letting herself cry again, but decided that would be too self-indulgent. She was Lily Potter. She didn't waste her energy crying.

She stood up and turned around, ready to leave the room, and then jumped when she realised she wasn't alone.

"What are you doing here?" She said, voice more spiteful than she'd intended it to be.

Tristan Gorgovitch looked up from his star chart. He didn't look like he was scared of her. Most people would be scared if she spoke to them like that.

"Working," he said, sounding faintly amused. "We're in the same Astronomy class. I'm finishing my chart. It's not my fault you didn't notice me."

Lily huffed but didn't say anything. She walked across the room and looked at Tristan's chart. It was beautiful. Most Astronomy students just marked stars and galaxies with dots and lines. Tristan's chart was different: ink swirled across the page, leaving blazing white stars that seemed to glow, and hazy smudges where the sky seemed to blur into the stars.

Tristan had ink over his hands and was shading in Venus, blending the edges into the dark space around it.

"It's beautiful," Lily said.

Tristan smiled. "Thanks."

"It must have taken you forever."

"Yeah, well, I love to draw. It doesn't feel like work."

Lily nodded. "You're good at it."

"It's what I want to do," he said. "Art. I'm looking at drawing courses to take when we graduate next year."

"You want to be an artist?" Lily was surprised. "I assumed you'd want to play Quidditch."

"You and everyone else," Tristan said with a halfhearted laugh. "People always assume Quidditch is everything if you're on the team, especially if you're captain, but...I mean, it's wrong. Look at Collette."

Lily frowned, unsure who exactly Collette was. But she knew she'd sound like a bitch if she admitted to not knowing Tristan's friends, so she kept quiet.

"She's an amazing Chaser and she could go pro if she put the work in for it, but her whole head's full of music. She's going to be a composer and that makes much more sense for her than being a Chaser."

"And your head's full of art?" Lily said.

"Yeah," Tristan agreed. "Does that sound stupid?"

Lily shook her head.

Tristan looked embarrassed, perhaps regretting how quickly he'd opened up about his dreams, and turned back to his star chart.

Lily took a step closer to him and put a hand on his shoulder.

He looked up at her, surprised.

She pressed a finger against his lips, making him stay quiet, and then swung one leg around him and sat on his lap, straddling him as she wrapped her arms around him.

Tristan hesitated, still looking confused, but didn't complain when Lily kissed him.

They were alone in the Tower, and were quickly completely absorbed in each other. Lily had never spoken much to Tristan and still felt lost after speaking to Lysander, but Tristan was attractive and his chest was toned and muscly and he held her with warm arms, so she let herself meld into him and lose herself to the feel of him.

Afterwards, they lay on a pile of their robes, Tristan's cloak spread over them both like a quilt. Lily leaned against Tristan's chest, his heartbeat strong and reassuring against her cheek, and he kept a lazy arm around her bare back.

" _Lily? Are you up here?_ "

At first, Lily thought the voice belonged to Lysander, and was surprised by how quickly the fear flooded through her. She dug her nails into Tristan's chest and he must have thought she was scared of being discovered, because he sat up and draped another cloak over them both.

Lorcan Scamander entered the classroom and blushed so quickly and intensely when he saw them that Lily struggled not to laugh.

"Oh. Um...you...s...sorry," Lorcan muttered.

"What are you doing here? It's late," Lily said. She wanted to be angry with him for intruding, but he looked so panicked that she couldn't bring herself to say anything cruel.

"I...I saw my brother," Lorcan stammered. "He told...he said...it sounded like you m...might be upset. I came to check…"

"I'm fine," Lily said.

Lorcan flushed a deeper red and turned away, looking out at the castle grounds.

Lily rummaged in the clothes she was sitting on and found her school skirt. Tristan held one of the cloaks over her while she dressed herself. He looked mortified.

When she was dressed, Lily kissed Tristan's cheek and stood up.

"Thanks. This was fun," she told him.

Tristan nodded, looking stunned.

Lily tapped Lorcan on the back and he turned around. His cheeks had faded back to a more normal pink, but it still stood out against his otherwise icy-white skin.

"Walk me back to my Common Room?" Lily said lightly.

They left the Astronomy Tower together, leaving Tristan with his Quidditch robes and his star chart.


	10. X Mei

Mei couldn't concentrate. She usually liked studying. She was a Ravenclaw, after all, and a pretty reserved Ravenclaw on top of that. She liked old books and broken quills and the sofa nestled between the bookcases in Ravenclaw Tower. But ever since Lyra had died, she hadn't been able to focus on her work. She hadn't really been able to focus on anything at all.

She sat and chewed on a quill, muddy boots draped across the blue velvet sofa. The Transfiguration textbook was heavy and its corner was digging through her jeans and into the fleshy side of her left thigh where she'd propped it up. She stabbed the book with her quill and glared at Gamp's Law of Elemental Transfiguration. The letters were swimming up and over each other and no matter how many times she tilted her head, they refused to stay still.

"Stop jiggling," Abdi said, looking up from the desk in the corner of the room. "You're distracting me."

"Sorry," Mei said.

She tried to sit still and read. But after a few minutes Abdi looked at her again and she realised she'd been kicking the arm of the sofa in an angry, rhythmic tap.

He sighed and stood up. He walked over to her and pushed her feet off the sofa so he could sit down beside her.

"Let me take that," he said, reaching for the book.

Mei let him prise the textbook out of her fingers and watched him put it down on the floor.

"I don't know what's wrong with me," she whispered.

Abdi shook his head. "Nothing's wrong with you. It's...everything's wrong at the moment."

"Don't say that. Some things are good."

Abdi looked over her shoulder and his eyes softened. "Yeah. Some things are good."

Mei followed his gaze and smiled. Hugo was making his way down the stairs from the dormitories.

"You guys are getting pretty close." She nudged him.

Abdi shrugged and turned away. "I don't know."

Mei bit her lip, still smiling, and lifted a hand to wave Hugo over.

"Where are you off to?" She said. "You're looking very smart."

Hugo looked down at himself, seemingly surprised. He was wearing a white T-shirt and his usual black leather jacket. He _did_ look smart. He had a grace about him that made any outfit look dressy.

"It's Paige's birthday. I'm meant to go to her party. Don't really fancy it to be honest."

He sat down in Abdi's recently vacated chair, crossing his legs and leaning back. He looked tired.

"What are you working on?" He glanced at Mei's discarded textbooks.

Mei shrugged. "Transfiguration, supposedly. But I can't focus at all."

Hugo leaned forwards to pick up the textbook. "I know the feeling."

He flicked through the pages, frowning. His hands were trembling. He looked fragile.

"Is there anything I can help with?" He asked.

Mei shook her head. "I'll be alright. It's just...everything with Lyra. I can't stop thinking about it. And her fathers visiting at the weekend brought it all back. I've never seen them so sad. Michael used to come for dinner sometimes, when I was little. He's usually so _together_."

Abdi and Hugo were both watching her as she spoke. Now that the words were coming out, Mei found she couldn't stop them.

"And he couldn't stop talking about how Lyra wanted to be a lawyer. A _lawyer_. How am I meant to explain to him that she _did_ want a life fighting crime but decided to throw it all away by overdosing on aconite."

Mei had tears in her eyes now and brushed them away, feeling cross with herself.

Hugo had suddenly gone very pale.

"Aconite?" He asked. "That's what killed her?"

Mei shrugged. "Maybe. That's what the aurors think. Robin told all the prefects, so they could look out for any signs of other students taking it. It either killed her or it made her so out of it that she couldn't swim when she fell into the lake."

Hugo stood up. "I'm sorry, Mei. Let me know if I can help with any of the study stuff. I should get going. I'm late."

"Why go?" Abdi said, sounding frustrated. "You said you didn't want to."

Hugo looked at him. Mei watched the two boys stare at each other, both looking irritated and confused.

And then Hugo shrugged and turned away.

"I don't know. It's just what I do."

He walked away without saying anything else.

Abdi let out a long, slow breath and pressed his fists against his eyes.

"Are you okay?" Mei said tentatively, unsure if she was the right person to be asking.

Abdi shook his head. "I don't know. Feels stupid to be upset when there's all this other rubbish going on. I have no right to complain when you've just lost your best friend."

Mei sighed and rested a hand on his shoulder.

"The fact I'm having a hard time doesn't make your problems any less legitimate. Talk to me."

"I just...I don't like feeling like this."

Mei waited for him to expand.

"I've never felt like this about anyone before," Abdi confessed.

"You're talking about Hugo?"

"Of course. I'm always…I can't stop thinking about him."

"And...does he feel the same way?"

Abdi shrugged. He was obviously trying to look casual, like this didn't matter too much, but his hands were clenched into tight fists.

"I don't know. It doesn't matter anyway. It's not like anything could ever happen."

"Of _course_ it matters. Who says nothing could ever happen? Hugo?"

Abdi shook his head. "No...no, sometimes he makes me feel like...I don't know. Sometimes he says things that make me think maybe he feels the same way."

Mei thought back to the way Hugo had looked at Abdi before leaving for Paige's party. Maybe there had been something there. She'd never been very good at reading people's expressions.

"But...if you think he might feel the same way," she murmured. "I don't get it. Why couldn't it ever happen?"

Abdi laughed. It was a harsh, bitter, bark of a laugh.

"What would that even _look_ like? Can you imagine me taking him home to meet my family? Bringing him back to my place in Brixton?"

"Your parents wouldn't like him? Why?"

"Isn't it obvious?"

Mei chewed her lip. "Because he's a guy? Abdi…"

"No," Abdi cut across her. "No. I mean, maybe. Some of the extended family are pretty conservative muslims and maybe wouldn't like it much. But my parents wouldn't mind, I think."

"So what's the problem?"

He sighed, smiling in a way that was obviously forced.

"It's everything. The refugee community at home...they pretty much stick together. Mum thinks I'll meet a nice Somali girl, you know? Someone who understands where we've come from. Hugo's...Hugo's just _so far_ from what they'd want for me. He's this rich, British, _wizarding celebrity_. They've already turned their lives upside down once for me. They left their homes behind to bring me to London. I can't force them to change everything again by bringing someone like that into their home."

Mei squeezed his hand. She didn't think she'd be able to find the right words to respond. Abdi's life and experiences were so far from her own. So she just stayed beside him, watching the flickering fireplace and holding onto the warmth of his fingers.

After a while, when the Common Room was nearly empty and Mei's hand was cramped around Abdi's, he pulled away and stood up.

"Right," he said. "Time for me to stop feeling sorry for myself. I'm going to try to get some sleep. Thanks for listening."

Mei blinked up at him. "Any time."

Abdi started to walk up the steps, but turned back to her very quickly.

"Mei…" he said. "I'm glad we're friends."

"Me too."

"I don't understand why we never talked this much before."

Mei didn't reply. She knew exactly why they'd never talked this much before. She'd been so in awe of Lyra that she'd never looked any further for companionship. And while Lyra's death had left her shaky and terrified, the absence of her best friend had also forced her out of her comfort zone and into new friendships with people that made her smile.

She didn't say any of this out loud. She couldn't. It felt like too much of a betrayal.

Instead, she wished Abdi goodnight and stood up herself.

She didn't want to go to the dormitory yet, so she made her way out of the Common Room instead. It was part curfew but Tristan was the prefect on patrol tonight and he wouldn't stop her.

She wandered down the corridor with vague ideas of maybe going to the Owlery. Lyra's parents had left her owl behind, thinking Mei would like to use it. Mei didn't particularly like the bird. She was a snooty creature, always preening her feathers, and Lyra had jokingly named her _Vanity_. But she was the only part of Lyra that Mei really had left, and she wandered whether visiting the Owlery might ease some of the emptiness she'd been struggling with all day.

She didn't make it very far. At the end of the corridor, she found a crumpled Robin Parsons, clutching his knees and leaning against the wall.

"You okay?"

Mei nudged him with her toe, checking he was conscious. Paige Parsons's birthday parties were notorious for leaving the beautiful people of Hogwarts completely incapacitated, and from what Mei could gather, passing out at or after a party brought glory rather than ridicule within their exclusive few. But Robin Parsons was Head Boy. It would do anyone any good if he was caught unconscious in a corridor.

Luckily for Robin, he opened his eyes. They were red and swollen.

"Chang?" His voice was hoarse. "Where'm I?"

"Safe," Mei told him.

She leaned down and Robin looped an arm around her shoulders. She pulled him to his feet and he slumped against her.

The short walk back to Ravenclaw Tower took an unreasonably long time and seemed unbearably loud in the quiet of nighttime Hogwarts. Robin's legs seemed to have melted into some kind of dough, and his knees kept collapsing. Mei was tall, but Robin was taller, and every time he fell it was a struggle for her to keep him on his feet.

When they finally got back into the Common Room, Mei shoved Robin down onto a sofa. He didn't let go of her shoulders, so she found herself pulled down on top of him.

As soon as his back touched the cushions, Robin's eyes closed again. He curled his arms more tightly around Mei, holding her close.

"You're going to have to let me go," Mei said.

"No." Robin held her tighter. "You're comfy."

"Come on, Robin. I need to go to bed."

"Please stay," he whispered. "Just for a bit. Nobody else understands."

Mei frowned and looked up at him. His eyes were still closed but she was close enough to see the tears that clung to his golden eyelashes. He smelt like alcohol and some kind of floral smokiness, but the sadness in his expression seemed genuine.

Mei didn't know whether to ask what was wrong. She still felt a little bit emotionally overwhelmed from her conversation with Abdi, and she didn't really know Robin all that well. He might regret talking to her in the morning.

She was saved the trouble of asking, because Robin continued to talk without being prompted.

"They all just...just keep partying. It's like nothing ever happened. They pretend it's all okay. But it's not. It's _not_ okay. I felt her. I carried her. I'd never seen a dead person before her."

Mei drew in a sharp breath. She hadn't felt prepared to talk about Lyra. But now that Robin had brought her up, she felt a little bit relieved. Robin hadn't had anything like her own relationship with Lyra, but at least he was another person that felt her absence.

Robin shook his head very quickly, as if he was trying to shake the unhappy memories out.

"I can't dance with them and laugh and drink and pretend everything's good. Every time I go out I come back and remember she's still gone and just...just _hate_ myself. Why should I go and have fun when she never can again?"

Mei rested her chin on his chest.

"That's how I feel every day," she whispered. Her own eyes were stinging now. She blinked, trying not to cry. One rebellious tear rolled over her cheek and onto Robin's T-shirt.

Robin tilted his head up to look at her, bright eyes wet with tears. His arms were warm around her.

Mei tipped her head to one side, suddenly very conscious of how close they were to each other.

When Robin drew her closer, close enough that she could feel his breath, she didn't pull away.

And when he kissed her, and she could taste the alcohol on his tongue, she kissed him back.


	11. XI Lily

Lily's pillow case was streaked with watery lines of mascara. There was a spell that most of the girls used, to make their make up tear-proof, but Lily had never bothered to learn it. She was adept at hiding her emotions and couldn't remember the last time that she'd been unable to stop herself crying. Isidore had done her make up for her last night, highlighting and contouring and turning her into the porcelain queen the other students saw her as. She hadn't anticipated needing to protect the war paint with anything more than her willpower.

Now, she sat up in bed, staring at the mess her eye make up had made of the bedding. She didn't want to look in a mirror and see the smudges she knew would be scarring her cheeks. She could feel the make up smudged around her eyes, lashes caked in a sticky mess, but she didn't touch it.

Her head was throbbing and she felt desperately sad. She couldn't place the sadness. She knew something had happened last night but she didn't want to let herself think too deeply. So she sat in silence, gazing at her ruined pillow.

Paige's bed was empty, but Isidore had still been sleeping when Lily had woken up. After Lily had spent what felt like quite a long time sitting completely still, Isidore sat up. Her hair was wrapped up in silk scarves on top of her head. She'd been drinking last night but obviously hadn't been anywhere near as out of it as Lily had if she'd remembered her haircare routine when she'd got back to the dormitory.

Isidore stood up. Her legs were long and muscular and she stretched her arms up. She was wearing one of the shirts Robin had donated for her to use as pyjamas. It was long enough to cover her lacy knickers, but rose as she lifted her arms and exposed bare midriff.

Usually, Lily was confident that she was the most beautiful of her friendship group, and she didn't usually think about it much. But right now Isidore's elegance was making her self-conscious.

"Oh, Lils," Isidore sighed. "I'm so sorry."

She swept over to Lily's bed and sat down beside her, legs crossed over the side of the mattress.

Lily turned to frown at her friend.

Isidore leaned forward to give her a half hug, and then reached over Lily's lap to borrow the wand Lily had left on her nightstand.

Isidore was much better at nonverbal spells than Lily had ever managed to be and didn't speak as she touched the wand to Lily's face. Lily closed her eyes as she felt the make up peel itself away from her skin, leaving her feeling soft.

"Thanks, Iz," she breathed.

Isidore put down the wand and squeezed Lily's hand instead.

"Are you going to talk to Paige?" She whispered. She sounded nervous.

The anxious tone in Isidore's voice struck something in Lily, and suddenly images from the previous night were flashing back through her mind - swaying in the centre of the room with her arms draped around Isidore's neck; Hugo trying to pull her away to take her back to her room; breaking away from her cousin and spinning around to see what he was trying to hide; Paige in the corner of the room, lips locked to Lysander's; Isidore desperately trying to find Robin to carry Lily away as she sobbed, then giving up and dragging her by herself.

Lily jumped up, the fuzziness in her head sharpening into cool fury.

"Lils…" Isidore's attempt to placate her wasn't particularly convincing.

Lily swept out of the room without bothering to get changed.

She wasn't sure whether she was looking for Lysander or for Paige, but her feet carried her up to the seventh year boys' dormitory.

Isidore followed her. A small part of Lily felt guilty for dragging her into this. Usually after a party Isidore would be curled up with Robin in Ravenclaw Tower. Instead, she was babysitting. But the guilty part of Lily was only a very small part. Most of her was full of anger.

Lily swung open the door to the boys' dormitory without bothering to knock. None of the boys tried to stop her as she swept inside. Instead, they seemed to shrink away behind their curtains and into the bathroom when they saw the blazing fury etched across her face.

The curtains around Lysander's bed were drawn shut. Lily flicked her wand and they crumpled to the floor, leaving the bed exposed.

Lysander was lying on top of the covers, wearing a pair of excessively tight Slytherin boxers. Paige was curled up next to him, wrapped in a sheet. Her blonde curls shone against the crisp white sheets, and her makeup was smudged in a way that should have made her look like a mess but instead looked sultry and sexy.

Paige blinked up at Lily, clearly lost for words.

Lily could feel herself shaking and had to make a conscious effort to control herself. She took a deep breath and wiped her face clean of emotion, stood up straight and tossed her hair back over her shoulder.

"Well," she said, voice breathy but cold. "This is pathetic."

Paige was less successful in concealing her feelings. Hurt flashed across her face and she drew the sheet more tightly around her.

Lysander gave Lily a slow, languid smile and propped himself up on one elbow.

Lily refused to acknowledge him, and instead kept her focus on Paige.

"What?" Lily said with a smirk. "It wasn't enough to dress like me and follow me around and act like my best friend? You decided you needed to sleep with my leftovers as well?"

This time, Paige didn't look hurt. She sat up, looking furious. If Lily had been anybody else, she would have cowered. Instead, she laughed.

"You're embarrassing," she told the girl who had been her best friend the previous day. "And you really didn't think this one through. _Surely_ you don't want people comparing you with me any more than they already do. It just makes you look bad."

Paige took a few deep, slow breaths, and sat up straighter. Lily recognised her own defense mechanisms in her friend's movements, but it didn't stir up any kind of affection towards her.

When Paige spoke, her voice was slow and her words were calculated.

"I don't think you get it, Lily," she said pointedly. "You can come in here and make all the accusations you want to, but you're finished. And soon you're going to have to come to terms with that."

Lily opened her mouth to respond but Paige cut across her.

"I get it. You're embarrassed. Lysander told me how… _disappointing_ you used to be in bed. And sometimes you used to cry? I can see why you wouldn't want him to be with me and compare you to someone who actually knows what she's doing."

Lily didn't even try to respond this time. She didn't know why she was shocked that Lysander would stoop so low, but she still couldn't believe he would speak like this about her.

Paige shrugged. "I'm sorry that you're upset. But it's my time now. You don't get to control me anymore."

"I _created_ you," Lily spat out. "You think you'd be _anyone_ if you hadn't been Lily Potter's best friend?"

Paige shrugged daintily and tipped her head to one side, hair spilling out and over Lysander's arm, shining against his tanned skin.

"You can believe that if you want to, sweetheart," she said. "But I'm the one with the Head Boy brother, the infamous birthday parties, the better sex life and now the best looking guy. Deal with it, Lily, you're done. Maybe if you hadn't been so preoccupied with your potions and your cousin you could have held onto your crown, but now it's too late. You can't compete anymore."

Paige smiled angelically and leant back into Lysander's arms. Lysander looked amused and clearly didn't feel the need to contribute to the argument.

Lily breathed in a deep, shuddering breath, and shook her head. Part of her wanted to cry, but she knew this wasn't a battle she could risk losing. Instead, she kept her voice cool and steady.

"You're nothing without me," she said, looking straight into Paige's eyes. "None of you are anything without me. It's cute that you think you can be queen. We'll see how long you last."

She spun around before Paige had a chance to reply, confident that she'd had the last word.

On her way out of the room, she caught sight of Isidore, still standing at the top of the staircase.

Lily didn't let herself think about the crestfallen expression on Isidore's face.

Back in her own dormitory, Lily brushed her hair quickly and pulled on a dress that was far too short and floaty for the cold weather. She glanced at herself in the mirror to make sure she looked relaxed, and then stalked off to find Hugo.

As she walked through the school towards Ravenclaw Tower, Lily couldn't shake the feeling that people were staring at her. She didn't let herself lose her cool, and told herself they were still jealous of her even if they knew what had happened, but it still didn't feel good.

Ravenclaw Tower was almost empty. It was always quiet on Saturday mornings. While the rest of the school liked to lounge around and enjoy a lazy start to the weekends, Ravenclaw students were known for heading straight to the library to get ahead with their studies.

Lily was grateful for the quiet. She wasn't certain she would have been able to handle being stared at by a packed room of people cleverer than she was right now.

She had to work hard not to run up the steps to Hugo's room. Instead, she took steps forward in time with her breathing, trying to calm herself down so that if his dorm-mates were there they wouldn't see that she was suffering.

She needn't have worried. The dormitory was completely empty.

Lily sat down on Hugo's bed and drew her knees up against her chest. She wasn't sure where he'd be. He usually had a lie in at the weekend. But he'd changed recently, and had new friends. Maybe they'd changed his habits.

She wished he hadn't started hanging out with Mei and Abdi. It made him unpredictable, and she didn't like not understanding him. He was the only person who understood _her_.

The bathroom door swung open and Lily looked up.

Tristan stood there, a towel wrapped around his waist. He looked startled to find her there. She hadn't spoken to him since their encounter in the Astronomy Tower.

"Lily," he said, voice slightly higher pitched than usual. "Um, Hugo's in the Library, I think."

"I was looking for you," Lily lied.

"Oh." Tristan's cheeks flushed.

Lily stood up and made her way over to him. She wasn't sure what she was doing was sensible. In fact, she was fairly sure that it wasn't. But she felt like she was in freefall and maybe this would somehow make something feel better.

Tristan didn't stop her when she tugged his hand and pulled him towards her. He only resisted to pull her sideways onto his own bed rather than Hugo's.

Lily pulled her dress over her head as soon as they lay down. Tristan rolled over her and kissed her with surprising gentleness. She dug her nails into his back and pulled him closer.

His hair was damp and soft from the shower, and Lily ran her fingers through it. He kissed her forehead and her cheeks and her neck, and felt so reassuringly heavy and solid on top of her that the tension she'd been exploding with immediately dissipated.

Afterwards, Tristan wrapped her up in the Quidditch blanket spread over his bed and pulled her into his arms. He smoothed the sweat-slicked hair back from her forehead and kissed the top of her ear.

Lily nuzzled into his neck and breathed him in, letting him make her feel better.

She couldn't even be bothered to feel embarrassed when Hugo walked in.

Her cousin was out of breath and looked worried. He was clearly surprised when he saw Lily with Tristan, but he didn't comment on it.

"I've been looking for you," he said, bending down to hold his knees while he caught his breath. "Isidore said you were upset about Paige and Lysander. I'm sorry. I should have stayed with you last night. I can't believe she did that."

Lily sat up, keeping Tristan's blanket around her. She chewed her lip.

"I'm going to have a shower," Hugo said. "I'll, erm, let you get dressed. And then we can talk about it?"

Lily nodded.

Hugo raised an eyebrow at Tristan and disappeared into the bathroom.

When the sound of the shower came on, Tristan turned to Lily. He looked tired.

"Something happened with your friends last night? With Paige and Lysander?"

"Yes." Lily didn't provide any details.

Tristan sighed, then sat up and pulled on a pair of tracksuit bottoms from his floor. Lily reached out to run a hand over his midriff, and he shrugged her away.

"I'm going to go for a run," he told her. "You can talk to Hugo."

"I'll find you later?" Lily suggested.

Tristan laughed and shook his head.

"No," he said. "No, I don't think so."

"You don't want to see me?" Lily was surprised by how crushed she felt.

Tristan rolled his eyes. "I don't know why I'm surprised, really. I wasn't sure why you were interested in me in the first place. We don't exactly move in the same circles. But I can't be bothered with this bullshit, Lily. I don't have the time to be used like this. I'm not going to be someone you run to whenever you're not getting enough validation elsewhere."

He stood up and tugged a hoody over his head, leaving Lily curled up on the bed to contemplate his words. She was startled to find tears blurring the edges of her vision.

Tristan frowned and reached out to ruffle her hair.

"Look," he said. "I'm not a terrible person. You're clearly dealing with some difficult stuff and I don't want to be part of that. It would be different if it was just something casual, and we have fun together, but I'm not going to play this role in your life."

Lily nodded, embarrassed by the tears starting to run down her cheeks.

Tristan bent down and retrieved her dress from the floor. She held up her arms and let him pull it down over her shoulders. He was gentle as he fastened the buttons running up her chest, and he pulled her into a tight hug when he was finished.

She lifted her head and watched him through her tears, and he kissed her forehead.

"I'm here for you, yeah?" He said, releasing her from the hug. "When you're ready for an uncomplicated friendship without all the other stuff, I'm here. Or, you know, if you get your act together and decide you want back on the Quidditch team, I'll help you lead a mutiny against Scamander."

He nudged her shoulder and Lily laughed.

Tristan reached down and wiped away her tears, then kissed the top of her head one more time.

"You'll be okay, Lily," he told her. "I'm just not what you need right now. And, well, you're not exactly what I need either. This isn't who I am."

Lily watched him leave and then wrapped herself up in his blanket again, wishing she'd dressed in something warmer. The pillow smelt like him. Even though she knew he was right, and knew that she'd been using him for the wrong reasons, she still felt comforted.

When Hugo came out of the shower, she was crying again.

He didn't ask her to explain herself, and just lay down next to her and squeezed her hand.

When her tears had finally given up and she felt calmer again, Hugo turned to face her.

"I know this isn't a good time, and I feel bad even bringing this up, but can I talk to you about something?"


	12. XII Lucy

Lucy was tired of feeling like she was the only one actually doing any work. She'd dismissed the prefects early from their meeting when it became apparent that they were mostly too hungover and/or exhausted to actually accomplish anything, and was now waving different drafts of the patrol schedule in front of Robin's face, trying desperately to get a response.

"Come on," she told him, prodding his shoulder. "We told Professor McGonagall we'd have this sorted weeks ago. We can't keep telling the prefects last minute where they need to be. We're meant to have a fixed schedule."

Robin yawned and groaned, then leaned his head on the table, hair flopping over one of Lucy's carefully drawn charts.

"And dinner's in half an hour," Lucy continued. "The Hall will be noisy and we won't be able to concentrate in here."

Robin closed his eyes.

"What is _wrong_ with everyone today?" Lucy poked him again.

The Saturday afternoon meeting had been a disaster. Something was obviously going on with the sixth years: Tristan Gorgovitch had avoided making eye contact with anybody throughout the meeting, and both Lily and Mei had failed to show up. But the rest of the prefects weren't much better, and Lucy had expected more of Robin.

"Seriously, what's going on? Has something happened with your lot? Where was Lily?"

Robin opened one eye.

"Dunno. Haven't really seen them. I've been hiding out in Ravenclaw Tower."

"Doesn't Isidore keep you informed? I thought everyone had to know everything about the golden group at all times."

Lucy was surprised by how bitter she sounded. She wished she could take the words back. But Robin, to his credit, didn't seem phased at all.

"She's one of the people I've been hiding from," he said matter-of-factly.

Lucy frowned and waited for him to keep talking.

"I messed up, Luce," Robin said with another groan. "Big time."

Lucy sighed and put down her pen. They obviously weren't going to get the patrol schedule done.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Well...do you want to talk about it?"

"You'll judge me."

"I'll try not to. I'm not a particularly judgemental person."

Robin seemed to consider this. He frowned, wrinkling his nose, and then sat up.

Now that Lucy looked at him properly, she was surprised she hadn't processed how much of a state he was in. His eyes were red and circled with purple shadows, and his shirt was crumpled. He still looked confident and relaxed - she couldn't imagine one of the Parsons siblings looking anything less - but he wasn't his usual put together self.

"There's no easy way to say it," Robin said, chewing his lip. "I can't make it sound like I'm not a disgrace."

"Best to get it over with quickly, then," Lucy said. "Just say it how it is. Like taking off a plaster. Or pulling out a mandrake."

Robin snorted, then reached up to rub his eyes.

"Right. Okay. Ah. Well. It was my sister's birthday yesterday. She had a party. I had a bit too much to drink."

"Don't tell me anything I'll have to report!" Lucy cut across him. "I don't want to an accomplice in anything...illicit."

Robin grinned. "You're cute. No. I don't do anything illicit. Just drinking for me. And I'm of age."

"Good."

"Anyway...well, I guess I can't really explain it. It's not going to sound okay. But I was upset. I don't think I've been dealing with this whole Goldstein thing as well as I thought I was. She...well, I'd never seen a dead person before her, you know? I can't forget how she felt."

"Oh, Robin…" Lucy rested a hand on his arm.

Robin grimaced and shook his head.

"That's not it, though. That's just me trying to make excuses for my own poor behaviour."

"So…"

"So I left early and Mei Chang found me in the corridor and helped me back to Ravenclaw. And, well, I'm not really sure how it happened, but long story short...we kissed."

"Kissed?"

"A lot. For...oh, I don't know. I wasn't sober. But it was a very long, very enjoyable kiss."

Lucy didn't understand why the idea of this bothered her. She had no interest at all in Robin, but her face felt warm and an uncomfortable feeling crawled up the hairs on her arms. She decided to ignore it and worry about what it meant later on.

"But...Isidore."

"I know."

"Are you going to break up with her?"

Robin shook his head violently. "No. Never. She's...she's everything, really. I don't understand why I did it. Iz makes me so happy. And this will hurt her."

Lucy exhaled slowly, letting the breath make a sound.

"Well, you'll have to tell her what happened. You can't just pretend nothing's changed," she said.

"I know," Robin moaned. "But she's so frightening."

"Do you think she'll do something to Mei?" Lucy didn't argue with him about Isidore's scariness. She hoped Mei would be okay.

"To be honest, I'm not sure," Robin confessed. "I hope not."

"Make sure she doesn't," Lucy snapped, then immediately softened her voice again. "I'm sure you can fix this, Robin."

"How?" Robin's voice was very quiet.

"I think you just need to be honest. Do you love her?"

"Iz? With my whole heart."

"So tell her that. Tell her what happened but tell her how you feel about her."

"She's so scary though..."

"If you keep hiding from her you'll never be able to make it right."

Lucy wasn't sure where all this sensible advice was coming from. She'd never had a relationship and, apart from an experimental and ultimately unsuccessful fourth year experiment with Lorcan, she'd never even come close to kissing somebody. But she felt fairly confident that she was saying the right thing.

"What if she doesn't want to be with me anymore?" Robin whispered.

"Then that's her choice. And she has the right to make that decision. But, for what it's worth, I can't imagine her ending it. She looks at you like...I don't know. She looks at you like my parents look at each other. And I don't know anyone more in love than them."

"Okay." Robin slid further down in his seat.

"Go and do it now, though," Lucy instructed. "It won't get any easier if you leave it longer. I'll finish up this stuff."

"You sure?"

"Of course. You're not in the right frame of mind to be helpful anyway."

Robin stood up and ruffled her hair.

"Thank you, Lucy. You're a good egg."

"Be off with you." She waved him away.

Robin left and Lucy turned back to the patrols. She decided just not to worry too much about who would want to work with who, and instead allocated slots at random. She paired Lily up with Tristan Gorgovitch, reasoning that he might be a good influence, and decided she herself would patrol with Mei. That way, she could keep an eye on Mei, and could cover for her if Mei ever wasn't feeling up to it.

After ten minutes, she was finished. She couldn't help but feel slightly relieved that Robin had left her to it. Having the job finally done felt like a weight had been lifted, and she was looking forward to a relaxing evening in Hufflepuff with Lorcan.

"Lucy?"

Lily's voice was shaky but carried across the Great Hall.

Lucy wheeled her chair around to face her cousin.

"We missed you at the meeting. Is everything okay?"

Lily's lip trembled and she shook her head.

"I wanted to talk to you about something," she said.

"Do you mind walking and talking? I was going to head back to Hufflepuff to meet Lorcan."

With most people, Lucy would wait in the Hall to speak to them. But she knew Lily wouldn't mind walking. She understood how much less energy Lucy used up if somebody was there to help her navigate the chair through the school to her Common Room.

Lily took hold of the chair without Lucy asking for her help, and they left the Hall together.

"What's up?"

Lucy had never quite figured out what it was about her that made people think she was the right person to go to for free therapy sessions, but she didn't really mind it. She liked knowing she was valued by her friends and family. And she wasn't sure that Lily had very many people she opened up to.

"Erm, I just had a question. I was thinking about what Robin said at the last meeting. About Lyra?"

"What about it?"

"He said she took aconite? And they think that's what made her fall in the lake? She overdosed?"

Lucy wished Lily was speaking more quietly. The corridor was empty but a lot of people were still very upset about Lyra's death, and the causes weren't yet common knowledge.

Luckily, Lily lowered her voice without Lucy having to pick up the courage to ask her to.

"Do they think a student sold it to her?"

"What? The aconite?"

"Yeah," Lily said, sounding uncomfortable. "I mean, if it killed her, does that mean it was someone's fault?"

"I don't know." Lucy didn't like the direction this conversation was taking. "I mean, yes, if somebody gave it to her I suppose they're in some ways responsible."

"But are they looking to find out who did it?" Lily pressed on. "The aurors? And the teachers?"

"Aurors aren't involved. It's not a criminal case. It's just been Healers and the child protection officers from the Ministry."

"But are they trying to find out who provided the drugs?"

"I...I don't know. Lily, is everything okay?"

"Yes. Yeah, of course." Lily sped up their pace, wheeling Lucy more quickly down the corridor so that her wheels squeaked against the stone. "I've just been thinking about it. Things have been different, you know, since she died. I was wondering what was going on."

"Well, I don't think they're really investigating it, as such. Obviously if they found out who provided it then there would be punishments for dealing and for substance abuse. But they're not treating her death as suspicious. She took the aconite voluntarily."

"Okay. I get it."

They had arrived outside Hufflepuff Common Room. Lucy tilted her head to look up at Lily.

"Lils...you'd tell me if something was wrong, wouldn't you?"

Lily smiled and suddenly looked like herself again.

"Of course. I'm fine. Really. Sorry I missed the meeting. I overslept."

"Until five in the afternoon?"

Lily shrugged. "Had a late night."

Lucy frowned but didn't argue.

Lily shook her hair back and when she spoke again her voice was bright and airy.

"Okay, I'm going to have to love you and leave you. I told Hugo I'd spend the evening with him. Enjoy your Saturday night!"

Lucy waved her away and then sat outside the Common Room for a few moments, chewing her fingernails and trying to piece together her thoughts. She didn't like the road her ideas were leading her down and she needed Lorcan to convince her she was being silly.

Lorcan was ready at their favourite sofa by the fireplace when Lucy wheeled herself into the Common Room. He had laid out a trail of different sorts of chocolates on the coffee table and was halfway through a dark chocolate cauldron filled with strawberry cream.

"Honey, I'm home!" Lucy tried to sound cheerful.

"Welcome back, sweetheart," he grinned. "I cooked!"

Lucy laughed. It was hard not to laugh when she was around Lorcan. When she spent time with her cousins or with people from other Houses it was easy to get used to feeling tense. As soon as she was back with Lorcan she remembered what it felt like to relax and be properly herself.

"I worry about your diet," she told him, wheeling herself over to the sofa. "One can't survive on chocolate alone."

"Watch me," Lorcan said, sticking his tongue out.

He stood up and reached an arm out for Lucy to grab hold of, pulling her out of her chair and onto the sofa beside him.

"Did you never learn about the food pyramid?" Lucy asked.

"I understand nutrition. Chocolate has calcium in it. And good fats. And this cauldron has strawberry in it for my vitamins."

"I'll miss your lovely voice when all your teeth fall out and make it hard to talk properly," Lucy yawned.

Lorcan beamed, revealing very bright white teeth.

"Aunt Hermione sends me very many toothcare related packages," he informed her.

"Glad to hear it. I forget that you and her write to each other."

Lorcan shrugged. "Mum's one of her best friends. And she knows I'm interested in law enforcement."

"It's nice," Lucy said.

They went quiet for a minute, both tucking into chocolates. Lucy picked up a squishy yellow pillow from the sofa and hugged it to her chest.

"Are you alright?" Lorcan asked. "You look...pensive."

"Yeah. I just had a strange chat with Lily."

Lorcan turned towards her very quickly at the sound of Lily's name and then made a very transparent attempt to pretend he had been reaching for another chocolate frog, despite having an unwrapped one already in his hand.

"Is it something you can talk about? Or not my business?"

"No, it wasn't a secret. I mean, she didn't really say anything. But something about it...I just feel funny."

Lucy told Lorcan about her conversation with Lily, trying her best to get across Lily's awkward stance and nervous voice. The more she outlined, the more her conclusions solidified. But she didn't want to let herself think it, so she pushed the thoughts away until the story was finished and she could hear what Lorcan thought.

"You're right," Lorcan said through a mouthful of chocolate. "That is weird."

"I don't know what to make of it."

"Are you thinking the same thing I am?"

Lucy looked at him. Lorcan's pale eyes were wide and worried. She knew he wouldn't like thinking like this about Lily. No matter how much Lily ignored him or treated him like he was irrelevant, he had this strange affection towards her. This would have unsettled him. But Lucy was feeling worried about it and wouldn't have wanted to keep the conversation to herself.

"I think so," she said. "I mean, yes. I'm pretty sure we're thinking the same thing."

Lorcan whistled and lowered the remains of his chocolate frog.

"Lily was responsible for Lyra's death?" 


	13. XIII Mei

Mei's hands were shaking. She kept trying to convince them to stay still but sleep deprivation and caffeine made it impossible. She supposed that might be a reason to stop drinking the coffee she was holding but she didn't want to put it down.

The more she tried to remain in control of her emotions, the more panicky she started feeling. She'd spent the weekend hiding in her dormitory, not wanting anyone to see her with dark, bruise-like shadows under her eyes and unwashed hair. She'd always relied on Lyra to shave the back of her head down to the length she liked, and now she was sure it looked ridiculous. But now it was Monday morning and she couldn't keep hiding.

Robin Parsons slid into the seat opposite her and poured himself a cup of coffee. He looked similarly tired. Mei looked down at the book she had open on the table, more as a prop than out of any interest, and hoped that he didn't want to talk to her.

"Erm, Chang?" He sounded nervous, which was very unlike a Parsons sibling.

Mei screwed her eyes up tight and then looked at him, hoping he wouldn't comment on the fact she looked awful.

She needn't have worried. Robin's own pale face and dark circles suggested he hadn't been finding sleep very easy either.

"Do you think we can talk some time?" He asked quietly, eyes shifting from side to side to check whether anyone was listening.

Mei raised her eyebrows.

"Do we need to?" She would usually be more polite, but she couldn't summon the energy for manners.

"I feel awful," Robin confessed.

Mei shrugged. "Join the club."

"I don't…" He sighed. "I don't properly remember what happened."

Mei let out a short, harsh laugh. Robin could pretend to have forgotten what happened if it made him feel better.

"No," Robin said. "I don't mean it in a nasty way. I do remember. I'm just not clear on how we...got into that situation. Anyway, I wanted to speak to you. I mean, you know, it's complicated, with Isidore...and we were both in a fragile state."

"I'm not in love with you, if that's what you're worried about," Mei said, looking straight up at him. "I am completely uninterested in being with you. Or any guy."

"I...oh." Robin frowned, then looked worried. "Did I...I didn't pressurise you? You weren't uncomfortable?"

Mei shook her head, finally relaxing her fingers and setting down her coffee cup.

"No. Of course not," she said gently. "I don't know why I did it. I guess, for that little bit of time, it felt like you were somebody that understood."

Robin absentmindedly reached for a cinnamon swirl and peeled it apart, pausing every so often to lick sugar from his fingers. He was looking more relaxed again, settling back into his usual persona of being completely at ease and in charge of the school.

"You know I'm here, right?" He said. "If you ever do need any help. You can come to me."

"I don't think that's a very good idea," Mei said.

"Oh."

Mei watched him methodically continue to destroy his pastry, then reached for her own croissant. The conversation had somehow given her back her appetite.

"I won't tell anyone about it, if that's what you're worried about," Mei told him.

Robin looked faintly surprised. "Oh. Thanks."

"I guess your girlfriend wouldn't be that thrilled?"

"She's completely furious," Robin said. "But it meant I had to explain how I was feeling about everything, you know, tell her what I was feeling about Goldstein. So I suppose that's a good thing. Communication and transparency and all that."

"You told her about it?" Mei hadn't expected this.

Robin looked confused.

"Of course I did. I love her."

"Well, that's very admirable," Mei admitted.

Robin shook his head. "Not really. It was a shitty thing to do in the first place. But I think, hopefully, we can work through it. And she says she won't come after you."

"Well, that's reassuring."

"It should be. She's absolutely terrifying."

"And you love her?"

"With my whole heart. Except for the bit that's saved for Transfiguration."

Mei laughed. The sound surprised her. "Well. Lucky you."

They sat in silence for a moment, both fiddling with their breakfast rather than eating it. Then Robin stood up and reached out a hand in an awkward offer of a handshake.

Mei took his hand, not wanting to reject a peace offering, but she gave him her best attempt at a withering glare as she did it.

Robin gave her a sort of half shrug, then turned away.

"I am sorry, Mei," he said quietly before leaving. "I wish I could be a better friend to you."

Mei watched him as he made his way across the hall and joined his sister and girlfriend at the Slytherin table. Isidore tossed her hair back and gave him a kiss on the cheek. Mei worried that she would turn and see her watching, but Isidore Flint plainly didn't feel threatened. Paige Parsons beamed and chattered to her brother. Lily Potter, bizarrely, was nowhere to be seen.

Abdi joined her after a few minutes and she watched him wolf down his own breakfast before getting up with him to head over to the Greenhouses for Herbology.

Hugo joined them for the walk across the grounds. None of them mentioned his ongoing absence from school meals, even though Mei was starting to worry. Since forging this slightly uneasy friendship, she wasn't sure she'd actually seen him eat.

"Where've you been?" Abdi said, nudging Hugo's shoulder. "Haven't seen you much this weekend."

Hugo shook his head and mumbled something about Lily.

Mei caught Abdi's eye and shrugged.

As they came closer to the greenhouses, a large crowd came into sight outside. Nobody from their class seemed to be going inside and people looked confused.

Abdi glanced at his watch. "What's going on? Bell's about to go. Where's Longbottom?"

They slowed down as they got nearer and joined the back of the crowd.

Paige Parsons was standing in front of them, fiddling with her fingernails. She was her usual put together self and looked bored by the wait. She turned and smiled at Hugo. He didn't smile back.

Mei stood up on tiptoes to see what was going on. A large chain was holding the greenhouse doors shut, fastened with a huge, glowing padlock. The students at the front of the crowd were halfheartedly trying to move it, but didn't seem to hold much hope for success. They had presumably been trying for some time now.

Mei was about to ask the boys what they thought they should do when they were joined by Professor Longbottom.

He looked flustered and was red-faced. He must have rushed to meet them, despite his lateness. He cleared his throat to draw attention from the rest of the crowd. Slowly, the muttering stopped and the students looked at him, waiting for an explanation.

"Right," he said, looking faintly surprised to find himself surrounded by his NEWT class. "Well, I gather you've noticed that the greenhouses have been sealed."

Paige Parsons laughed. "Yes, Professor. We noticed."

Hugo glared at her. Longbottom seemed unphased.

"I'm afraid our lessons have been...temporarily suspended," he continued.

This statement resulted in uproar. The Hufflepuffs nearest the greenhouse were all calling out questions and Abdi, next to Mei, looked at her with panicked eyes. There wasn't much that could be more scary for a group of Ravenclaws than having lessons for one of their NEWT subjects suspended.

"I do apologise," Longbottom said, biting his lip. "I tried to find a way for us to continue. But the Governors were determined. And really, given recent circumstances, I'm not surprised."

"What recent circumstances?" Hugo asked quietly. "Lyra?"

Not everyone was listening to Longbottom's response to his godson. The Gryffindors were talking in stage whispers about all the extra lie-ins they'd get without one of their subjects, and other students were still trying to process the news. But those nearest Mei and her fellow Ravenclaws were listening attentively.

Longbottom nodded. "Someone's been stealing aconite from the greenhouses. Our stocks are massively depleted. We didn't pick up on it until her medical examination came back. But we can't have students in there until we know who did it. We can't risk the same thing happening to someone else. And if students are going to get involved with magical substances, Hogwarts can't be responsible for giving them access to them."

"But that's not fair!" Lily Potter had suddenly materialised by Hugo's side, linking her arm through his as though she'd been there all along. "Herbology is Hugo's best subject! If he wants to go into medical research he'll need the highest NEWT grade possible! How's he going to get that if he's not having lessons?"

Mei didn't like Lily much, but she couldn't fault her dedication to her cousin.

Longbottom looked tired. He had always refrained from making it obvious how some of his students were close family friends outside school, even though the Potter/Weasley/Longbottom friendship was recorded in all modern History books and frequently reported in gossip magazines. But now, watching him try to respond to Lily's complaint, Mei could see how hard it must be for him to deprive his best friends' children of an opportunity.

"I know, Lily," he said. "But it'll have to be independent research for now. And you two know you can come and see me for any extra help if you need it."

He raised his voice and repeated this last statement for the benefit of the whole class, urging them to come to him in what were now their extra free periods to make sure they could remain on top of their studies.

"Come on," Abdi said quietly. "We can go to the library. Get started on independent research."

Hugo nodded. "I'll help you out. This is bullshit."

Lily was still holding onto Hugo's arm and looked up at him, frowning. But she didn't try telling him not to go.

"Come too, Lils," Hugo said, seeming to feel her questioning glance without breaking away from Abdi's gaze.

Lily shook her hair back and pouted. "Okay. If you're going."

Mei walked with the other three as they headed back to the castle, Hugo and Abdi chatting idly about what the best strategy would be for making sure this didn't affect their NEWT results. Her head was spinning and she couldn't join in with the conversation.

Somebody had been stealing aconite from the greenhouses. And Lyra had died after an aconite overdose. Had _Lyra_ been stealing the aconite? Surely not. Surely she would have known. But if somebody else had been stealing it, why did she have no idea who it was?

The idea that somebody had been responsible for illegally acquiring such a dangerous drug to her friend, causing her death, and was now going about Hogwarts life as usual without facing any consequence was...well, it was unbearable.

Mei was vaguely aware that the conversation had lulled. Abdi was looking back at her and she thought she had probably been asked a question. But it seemed impossible to frame the right words to explain that she hadn't heard them.

"I have to go," she told them.

Abdi opened his mouth, probably to ask what she could possibly need to do with this hour that should surely be devoted to the study of Herbology, but she hurried past him before he had the chance to speak.

She felt agitated and panicky and wasn't sure how to calm herself down, so she knew she had to find someone who _would_ be able to help her deal with these feelings.

She hadn't really thought about how she'd get into Hufflepuff Common Room, but luckily a few late third years were scurrying out through the circular door as she arrived. Mei stepped forwards to hold the door for them and then clambered through it herself.

It hadn't occurred to her to worry about what she'd do if Lucy wasn't there or, worse, if Lucy was there but had company. But again, she hadn't needed to worry.

Lucy was seated in her wheelchair at a desk in the corner of the room, writing furiously at the bottom of a piece of parchment. Her tongue was sticking out a little as she concentrated. A large Ancient Runes book was open in front of her.

Mei stepped forwards and cleared her throat.

Lucy turned and her focussed expression warmed into a smile.

"Mei," she said affectionately. "How are you?"

Mei shook her head, tears already burning her eyes.

Lucy held out her arms and Mei rushed over to her, crouching beside her and letting Lucy wrap her up in a hug.

"I'm here, lovely," Lucy said, kissing the top of Mei's head.

Mei reached up to put her arms around Lucy's neck and buried her face in her narrow shoulder.

Lucy stroked the back of Mei's hair, where the shaved section was growing out at an awkward length.

"Is this about the Greenhouses?" Lucy murmured.

Mei looked up at her, confused.

"McGonagall told Robin and I this morning after breakfast," Lucy explained. "I looked for you to let you know. I thought it might come as a shock. But you must have already left for lessons."

Mei nodded, starting to cry again.

"I know," Lucy whispered. "It's rubbish. I'm so sorry."

Mei reached out for a hug again and Lucy held her. This time, their cheeks were pressed against each other. Lucy's warm skin clung to Mei's tears and the damp heat made it feel like they were stuck together.

"I'm glad you came to me," Lucy said quietly. "You know you always can."

Mei didn't know what made her do it. It definitely hadn't been her intention when she'd come to find Lucy. But something in the older girl's warmth and calm acceptance of the situation made her irresistible.

She turned her face and gave Lucy a quick peck on the lips before doubting herself and pulling away.

Lucy looked startled but not cross. She lifted one hand to her lips and touched the spot Mei had kissed.

Mei stayed frozen for a moment, waiting for her friend's reaction.

Lucy lowered her hand as if in slow motion, still looking surprised, but then leant forward and returned the kiss, touching her lips against Mei's for a few seconds before pulling away.

They stared at each other, both trying to understand this new dynamic between them. Mei's heart was beating conspicuously loudly and her head was whirring through apologies and rushed explanations that could be offered if Lucy required them. But her lips felt warm and tingly and the kisses had somehow quashed the panic she'd been wrestling with all day.

"So…" Lucy said.

"I'm sorry," Mei blurted out. "I shouldn't have done that without checking if you wanted to first. I don't...I mean, I haven't really had a lot of experience with this stuff. And…"

"Stop it," Lucy said. "Don't be silly. I'm not angry. Kind of the opposite, in fact."

"Oh." Mei couldn't help smiling a little.

Lucy sat up a bit straighter.

"I think we should talk about this another time, though," she said, then must have noticed the distress in Mei's expression because she immediately went on to explain herself. "Not because it's not what I want. It _is_ , at least, I think it is. But you came here because you were upset and I think for today we should focus on tackling that. We have all year to think about us."

Mei nodded. Everything about Lucy was reasonable and kind and reassuring. Her voice soothed her. She was glad she'd come here instead of the Library.

"You can tell me what's making things difficult," Lucy said. "I'm a good listener. And if it's making you feel like this, it's worth talking about it."

"It's confusing," Mei said. "So much has been happening."

"I've got time," Lucy shrugged. "Talk to me."

So Mei did.


	14. XIV Hugo

Hugo was in a bad mood.

"This is bullshit," he groaned, snapping the textbook shut. "I know all this crap already. I don't need any more bloody theory. I need to get into the Greenhouses and actually _use_ it."

Abdi took a deep breath and closed his own book. He was good at not getting drawn into Hugo's bad moods. His ability to stay calm and kind was one of the things Hugo found most impressive about his new friend.

"Sorry," Hugo said, pressing his fingers into his temples. "I'm sorry. I know you don't like it when people swear."

"You're frustrated," Abdi said with a shrug. "I get it."

Hugo shook his head. "It doesn't mean I should talk to you like that. It won't happen again."

"Let's take a break," Abdi suggested. "You're right. We already know all the Herbology theory. We might as well use use the time to relax."

"Yeah. It's not like we'll have much time to relax once the Greenhouses reopen. We've already missed a whole week of lessons. We have so much to catch up on."

Abdi shrugged again. "It'll be alright. Everyone's in the same position. And we're Ravenclaws: we're used to studying hard."

They packed away their books and quills. Hugo's fingers brushed against Abdi's hand several times as they both rummaged through their stacks of notes, trying to find their own possessions. Abdi looked down at the table and didn't catch Hugo's eye, but Hugo thought he noticed more pressure the next time Abdi's hand touched his own.

The corridors were quiet when they left the Library. Younger students were all in class, and most of the NEWT students spent their free periods in the Library or in their Common Rooms. Hugo and Abdi didn't speak as they walked down the corridor, but Hugo shuffled sideways to be closer to Abdi, letting their hands and arms bump into each other every so often.

Hugo couldn't make sense of his own behaviour. He'd never felt like this before. But he wanted to keep Abdi close to him, and every time his skin touched Abdi's he felt reassured.

After a while, Hugo became aware that Abdi kept turning to look at him. He could feel the other boy watching him as they walked, and it was a battle not to stop and turn to face him. Hugo's cheeks were burning. He hoped his blush wasn't visible.

Hugo could feel his breath getting quicker. He wanted to touch Abdi's hand again but now that Abdi was watching him he thought it might be too obviously deliberate.

He needn't have worried. Without saying anything, Abdi reached out to him and took his hand, wrapping his palm in warm, rough fingers.

Hugo twined his own fingers around Abdi's and released a breath.

He glanced sideways and found Abdi watching him again. Abdi smiled. This time, Hugo didn't really mind if Abdi noticed him blushing.

As they turned the corner, they heard voices coming from the other end of the corridor. Hugo loosened his grip on Abdi's hand, making sure that Abdi would feel able to let go if he wanted to, but Abdi held onto him.

They kept walking and Hugo suppressed a groan when he saw Lysander Scamander and Paige Parsons. Paige had her back against the wall and Lysander was holding on to her, whispering something against her neck.

Paige had an unreadable expression on her face but it cleared when she saw Hugo. She smiled her friendliest smile and pushed herself away from the wall.

"Hugo," she said warmly. "I feel like I haven't seen you in forever. How _are_ you?"

Her eyes flickered to Hugo and Abdi's joined hands, but she didn't mention it.

Hugo decided not to bring up Paige's feud with Lily. They both knew there was a reason they hadn't been talking. He didn't need to remind Paige if she was choosing to feign ignorance.

Lysander saved Hugo the trouble of finding a response. He looked directly at Abdi and laughed.

"This isn't your usual company, Hugo," he said, his tone mocking. "Can't say I ever thought I'd see you traipsing around school with a Ravenclaw instead of with one of us."

This time, Abdi did drop Hugo's hand. Hugo immediately missed his warmth.

"I _am_ a Ravenclaw," Hugo said.

Lysander laughed again, even though nothing was funny.

"Well, of course you are," he said, then leaned in conspiratorially. "But that's not all you've got going for you, is it?"

Paige was playing with her fingernails, looking bored. Hugo wanted to look at Abdi to make sure he was okay, but he was worried drawing attention to his friend might make Lysander pay him more attention.

Lysander kept talking, either not noticing or not caring about the fact the three people around him looked deeply uncomfortable.

"I'd be a little bit _worried_ if I were you," Lysander whispered. "You've heard what they're saying about Lyra Goldstein? Killed by an aconite overdose?"

Hugo looked directly into his eyes, refusing to seem intimidated.

Lysander shrugged. "I mean, you're the little Herbology prodigy, aren't you? Longbottom lets you use the Greenhouses outside hours. And countless students have benefitted from your...access. Surely it's only a matter of time before suspicious eyes turn your way?"

Hugo didn't know what to say. He glanced at Abdi. Abdi was looking at the floor.

Lysander could obviously see how uncomfortable Hugo was. He looked victorious.

"Stop it, Lys," Paige said eventually. "Don't tease him."

She turned to Hugo, planting a smile back onto her face. "He doesn't mean it, Hugs. He's just trying to get a reaction out of you."

"Sure I am, baby," Lysander said, draping a lazy arm back over her shoulders.

Paige jumped slightly as Lysander's arm came down around her, but her smile didn't falter.

"Come on, you," Lysander said, tilting Paige's head up so she would kiss his cheek. "Let's go. I wasn't done with you."

Hugo watched Paige and Lysander walk away down the corridor and through a tapestry passageway. Something in the way Paige was walking made him keep looking at her until she was out of sight. She usually carried herself like a ballerina: back straight and legs long and confident. But today she was a little hunched over, and kept looking down at her feet.

Usually, Hugo would have spent more time contemplating this change in Paige's behaviour, but Lysander's words had shaken him and his mind was racing. His breath was speeding up and Abdi must have noticed, because he reached out and took Hugo's hand again.

"Are you okay?" Abdi asked, deep voice slow and concerned.

Hugo pulled his hand away from Abdi's grip.

"I need to find Lily," he gasped.

"Let me help you," Abdi said.

Hugo shook his head and rushed back in the direction they'd come from, not looking back to check whether Abdi was still there.

Lily would usually be in Herbology with them at this time, but she hadn't been in the Library with the majority of their class. Hugo thought he knew where to find her and didn't let him consider the possibility that he was wrong.

He charged up the stairs, not pausing once to catch his breath, and kept running even when the bell rang and other students started to emerge onto the staircase.

He didn't stop until he reached the Astronomy tower and saw Lily's curtain of red hair bent down over a vintage map of the sky.

He would have sighed with relief to see his cousin, but he was panicking and had just run up all those stairs and he couldn't regulate his breathing.

Lily must have heard his heavy breaths, or sensed his presence in some other way, because she turned to look at him. She was pale and looked tired, but she immediately jumped to her feet and placed both her hands on Hugo's shoulders.

"Hey," she said softly.

Being near her, Hugo started to relax.

"Lily, I fucked up," he said.

"Yeah?" Lily didn't seem worried. She had a remarkable ability to remain calm whatever was going on around her.

"I don't know what to do," he admitted.

Lily led him over to the window and they sat down on the window ledge. She tucked her feet up under herself and then cocked her head to one side to listen.

"The back to school party," Hugo began. "I did something really stupid."

"I remember," Lily said bluntly. "But you learnt your lesson. No more meddling with potions you don't understand."

"I know. I do. But that potion...I didn't tell you what I did to it."

Lily frowned but let him keep speaking.

"Lily...I added aconite."

They were silent for a few moments, both staring at each other. Hugo couldn't believe he'd actually said the words out loud. He thought Lily might have guessed that he might be responsible for the aconite leaving the Greenhouse, but until now he hadn't been able to confess to what he'd really done.

"I see," Lily said. She didn't look angry. She just reached out and squeezed Hugo's hand.

"I'd done it before," Hugo explained. "The euphoria elixir sometimes makes me anxious, you know? Or just makes me want to go to sleep. Adding a little bit of aconite usually keeps me awake and keeps my emotions under control. But I guess I got the dosage a little bit wrong that night because it just made me really sick."

"I know. I remember."

Hugo closed his eyes for a moment. "You know what I'm going to tell you now, don't you?"

Lily didn't respond. She just waited for Hugo to speak and didn't let go of his hand. Part of him wanted to backtrack now, and just claim he'd been the only one to drink the potion, but it felt good to finally tell someone this.

"It was Lyra's first party," he whispered. "She came to me in the Common Room before we left and said she was scared and needed something to ease the nerves. I felt bad for her."

"Oh, Hugo," Lily sighed.

"I thought I was helping her," he confessed. "I was taking it myself. I didn't think it could hurt her. But now they're saying she died because of an aconite overdose."

"I know."

"Lily, I _gave_ it to her. It's my _fault_."

Lily shook her head.

"It _is_ ," Hugo continued. "I think...I mean, I'm the reason she's dead, aren't I? I killed her."

He had tears in his eyes now. In some ways he wished Lily would lose her cool and match his own anxiety. It was reassuring that his cousin stayed so calm, but at the same time he wanted someone else to feel what he was feeling.

"You didn't kill her," Lily said. "You had no idea what was going to happen."

"She's still dead."

Lily shrugged. To someone else, it might have looked like a cruel gesture in the face of someone's death. But Hugo understood Lily. She was trying to protect his feelings.

"It was her choice to drink it," Lily said. "And if she hadn't got it from you she might well have got something equally bad somewhere else. Don't feel like you're accountable for her bad choices."

"You think that'll make a difference to the school? They're looking into people stealing things from the Greenhouses. It's only a matter of time before they start to look at me. And however you spin it, Lily, she's dead because of something I stole and then gave her."

"Mmm."

"They'll kick me out," Hugo said, voice cracking. "I'll never get my NEWTs or be able to be a Herbologist. And that's if I'm lucky. I don't know how involved Magical Law Enforcement is. I might even be looking at prison."

"No, you won't."

"I will!" Hugo's voice was rising now. "And I deserve it. I _did_ it, didn't I? Maybe I _should_ be punished!."

Lily stood up.

"Don't be silly, Hugo," she said. "What's done is done. Ruining your own life won't fix anything."

"So what do I do?"

Lily took a moment to breathe and shook out her thick waves of hair. Something had changed in her since her fall out with Paige. She looked more fragile than Hugo was used to, and was much more isolated. But she still seemed completely in control. He trusted her.

"Leave it with me," Lily instructed. "I'll fix this."


	15. XV Lucy

Lucy couldn't remember the last time she'd seen Lily properly upset. Every so often somebody ruffled her cousin's feathers, and she'd witnessed Lily's recent very public break up with Lysander, but in general she saw the younger girl as completely unflappable. It was something she'd often envied, that ability to completely hide emotion.

But when Lily came to her this evening, she was inconsolable. The moment she stepped into the empty prefect common room, tears started to run down her cheeks.

Lucy wheeled herself over as quickly as she could and pulled Lily down onto her lap, clinging to her like she was a small child that could be calmed just be having somebody close by. She rubbed her cousins back and made soothing sounds until Lily's sobs had slowed into hiccups and she eventually stood up again and rubbed her eyes.

"Sorry," Lily said, voice hoarse.

"Don't be silly," Lucy said. "I'm always here for you. You know that."

"Thank you." Lily's voice cracked and she took a moment to breathe again.

"Did something happen?" Lucy asked tentatively. "Maybe with Lysander?"

Lily shook her head and pressed the palms of her hands into her eyes, still trying to calm herself down. Then, she took another deep breath and looked straight into Lucy's eyes.

"I need to confess to something," she said.

Lucy felt a creeping sense of foreboding, but didn't want to stop her cousin from speaking when she so obviously needed to.

When Lily spoke again, her voice was eerily calm, as if she had completely detached herself from the heavy wave of emotion she'd been feeling just moments before.

"The night of the back to school party," she began flatly. "I stole aconite from the school greenhouses. I mixed it in with a potion I drank at the party. It made me feel a bit sick but I was otherwise fine. I thought it hadn't done any harm."

Lucy closed her eyes for a moment, knowing how the story would end but wishing she didn't have to hear it.

"However," Lily continued. "I had also given a vial of the same potion to Lyra Goldstein. It was her first party and she wanted something to ease her nerves. I didn't know that it was what killed her until the prefects were told that she'd taken aconite."

Lucy nodded slowly. "I see."

"That's it," Lily said. "I've told you. So...what happens now? We go and see Professor McGonagall?"

Lucy thought about this for a moment. She knew they should go straight to the headmistress. If somebody else was in this position, that would definitely be her advice. Lily had done something stupid and they needed to trust the adults to resolve it.

But as she watched her younger cousin, she couldn't help but think of all the years they'd spent together as children. She knew Lily as well as she knew anyone, and couldn't imagine voluntarily doing something to get her into trouble. The Potter/Weasley clan had been raised to care fiercely for each other and do everything in their power to look after one another.

"No," Lucy said. "No. Don't rush into anything. Let me think about how to sort this out."

Lily looked relieved. "Are you sure?"

"Yes," Lucy said, even though no part of her felt any form of certainty. "Leave it with me."

"Thank you," Lily breathed.

Lucy gave her a sharp nod. "Go and get some sleep, Lils. You look like wreck."

Usually, Lucy knew Lily would have taken offence at this comment, but she accepted it straight away. Lily left the room without saying anything else, and Lucy followed close behind, knowing that if she was going to find a way to fix this she would need help.

She found Lorcan on their usual sofa in the Common Room, but gestured for him to follow her to her empty dorm so they wouldn't be overheard. At points during her Hogwarts career, it had made Lucy sad that she couldn't get up the spiral staircase to the dormitory the other girls in her year shared. But sometimes having her own space at floor level had benefits.

Lorcan helped her sit down on her mattress and then perched beside her. He listened to her recount of what had happened with Lily and groaned at all the appropriate moments. When she had finished, he bit his lip and shook his head.

"What do we do? We can't turn her in," he said straight away.

Lucy felt guilty for how relieved she was that Lorcan felt the same as her.

"I know," she agreed. "She's my cousin. And you guys have known each other since we were kids. But they're going to start looking for who's been taking aconite. She did it. There's no way she won't get caught."

Lorcan nodded slowly. "So...I guess we have to make it look like someone else was taking it."

Lucy laughed, even though nothing was funny. "What? _Frame_ someone?"

"Sorry," said Lorcan. "It was a silly idea."

"Unless…" Lucy began.

"Unless what? We _can't_ frame somebody else. That would be morally inexcusable."

Lucy chose not to comment on Lorcan's unusual choice of vocabulary.

"That's true," she said. "But...maybe we could make it look like _Lyra_ stole it?"

"That feels a bit dodgy."

"I know. But...well, I know it's not right, but if they think she took it for herself than it takes suspicion off other students. It's the best way to save Lily without getting anyone else into trouble."

Except Lyra. But those words went unspoken. Neither of them wanted to vocalise how uncomfortable they felt about dragging a dead girl's reputation down.

"How do we do it?" Lorcan said eventually. "How can we make it look like it was Lyra?"

They sat in silence for a while, both contemplating what their best course of action would be. Lucy felt a little bit bad for dragging Lorcan into this. She'd known he would want to help. His feelings for Lily were obvious, and even if he hadn't cared at all about her, he probably would have done it for Lucy. But it did feel wrong to take someone so _good_ and make him do something so dubious.

Lucy sighed. "If we had some aconite, we could leave it with Lyra's belongings. Her parents picked up most of her stuff, but I think her owl's still here. We could maybe make it look like she was storing it there?"

"What, and then leave an anonymous note to the teachers telling them about it?" Lorcan looked thoughtful. "That would work. That's a good way of distancing it from Lily."

"But we don't _have_ any aconite," Lucy pointed out. "And we can't get any. The greenhouses are completely sealed."

"What if I could get in?" Lorcan muttered.

"How would you do that? They're magically locked. And Longbottom's almost certainly put an alarm on the seal. We definitely don't want you to get caught breaking in."

Lorcan shook his head. "I know, but I can get through."

"How?"

"There's a passage," he explained. "My brother and I found it back in first year, when he still wanted to be a zoologist. Our grandad discovered it when he was at school and we managed to find it again."

"I didn't know that."

"I know," he said. "I'm sorry. I haven't thought about it in years. It's something I shared with Lysander. I haven't seen any point in going back there now that he's...the way he is."

"I understand."

Lorcan moved up along the sofa and leant his head against Lucy's shoulder. She lifted an arm to stroke his white blonde hair.

"I can get in there," Lorcan said. "I'll do it quickly, tonight while it's still dark, and then we can hide it in her owl's pouch."

"I'll come with you," Lucy said.

Lorcan shook his head. "Don't be silly. It'll be quicker if I go alone."

Part of Lucy felt annoyed. She hated not being able to help people because of her wheelchair, and Lorcan was usually very sympathetic to this and made sure she could take part. But she knew she was being unreasonable this time. Lorcan was offering to do something that would get him into huge trouble if he was caught. She would only make it more dangerous if she went too.

"Are you sure?" She whispered.

Lorcan nodded. "I'll go now."

"Do you not want to wait until people are asleep?"

"I don't think so. If I'm caught out in the castle after curfew it'll just raise more questions. And nobody will be on the grounds at this time anyway."

They sat in silence for a moment. Lucy squeezed Lorcan's hand.

"You don't have to do it," she said.

"I want to," he insisted.

He stood up, biting his lip, and headed towards the door.

"You'll wait here for me? I won't be long."

"Of course," Lucy said.

She watched him leave the room. He didn't turn back to look at her.

The whole time Lorcan was gone, Lucy sat completely still. She felt tense and her head was starting to hurt. She wasn't sure how long it was until Lorcan got back, but it felt like hours had passed.

Lorcan stumbled back into the room. He was out of breath and his usually eerily pale skin was flushed. He smiled, though, and pulled a plastic bag stuffed full of aconite out of his pocket.

They hardly spoke as Lorcan sat back down beside Lucy. She took out a quill and a piece of parchment, ready to write a note to leave for the teachers, advising them to check Lyra's owl. Once they had deposited the aconite within the owl's pouch, they would use a school owl to deliver the note.

Lucy pressed the quill into the parchment, but Lorcan grabbed her hand.

"Let me do it," he said. "My writing's less distinctive."

Lucy let him, even though she felt like she was letting him dig himself deeper and deeper into something he shouldn't ever have been involved in.

Lorcan hummed as he wrote. It wasn't a cheerful sound. It was the noise he made when he was finding something difficult. He repeatedly paused to reread what he'd written, and tutted unhappily about what he saw, but eventually he passed the parchment back to Lucy.

She read his words.

 _I was going to borrow Lyra Goldstein's owl this morning and saw something in its pouch I thought you should know about. I didn't touch anything because I didn't want to get into trouble._

"It's perfect," Lucy told Lorcan. "I don't think they'll try very hard to find out who sent this note."

"And hopefully it'll stop anyone looking in Lily's direction," he agreed.

They went up to the Owlery together, even though navigating Lucy's chair up all the staircases wasn't easy. She didn't want to ask Lorcan to do this last bit of subterfuge alone.

"Do you know which one her owl is?" Lorcan asked quietly.

"Mei said she's called _Vanity_ , I think. Lyra's parents left her for Mei to use," Lucy replied.

They examined the rows of sixth year owls, checking each owl's name until they found a particularly haughty-looking creature with the correct name.

"Here she is," Lorcan said. "Ready?"

"Let's do this."

Lorcan took the plastic bag of aconite out of his pocket and carefully tipped its contents into the pouch attached to Vanity's leg. The owl looked disdainfully at him but let him continue until the plastic bag was empty.

Lucy took the plastic bag out of Lorcan's hand and put it down on the window sill. She took out her wand and cast a quick vanishing spell to remove any evidence of what they'd done.

"Have you got the note?" She asked Lorcan.

He nodded and took out the note he'd written to pass on to the teachers. They chose a particularly innocuous looking owl from the school's own collection and tied the letter to its leg. Lorcan gave the owl a little push and it flew away out of the window.

They watched it go, both silent for a moment. Lucy couldn't quite believe what they'd just done. Until now, she had believed that Lorcan and her were somehow separate from the rest of the students. She wouldn't have said it out loud, but she'd always kind of thought herself somewhat superior to her cousins. But now she couldn't claim to be any better than Lily and Hugo.

She didn't regret it. How _could_ she regret it? There was nothing she wouldn't do for her family. But she definitely felt like she had crossed some kind of a line. And there wasn't any turning back.


	16. XVI Mei

Mei stabbed her History of Magic essay angrily with her quill. The nib broke and she swore.

Across the table, Lucy raised her eyebrows.

"Sorry," Mei muttered. "I can't concentrate."

Lucy put down her own quill and reached across the table to squeeze Mei's hand.

"What's wrong?" She asked soothingly. "You've been jittery all evening."

Mei ran a hand through her short hair and shook her head. Her thoughts were all jumbled and she wasn't sure that Lucy would understand. But Lucy's hands were soft and her expression was patient, so she decided it was worth a try.

"Professor McGonagall spoke to me this morning," she began.

Lucy nodded encouragingly.

Mei was about to continue but before she could speak, Lorcan Scamander approached their Library table and sat down next to Lucy. He was scowling and breathing heavily. It was an unfamiliar expression on him. Usually, Mei had always thought of him as a very cheerful boy.

"What's up?" Lucy turned to Lorcan.

"I j...just can't stand these Slytherin girls," he burst out.

Mei glanced around the Library, wondering if anyone had heard him. It wasn't wise to be heard criticising Lily's friendship group in public places.

Lucy smiled. "What have they done now?"

"It's L...Lily," Lorcan explained. "She was s...sat by herself for the whole of dinner! And the others all just sat at the other end of the table and giggled and fawned over Parsons. How can they drop their friend like that?"

"Well, we don't really know what happened," Lucy said diplomatically.

"It's not hard to guess!" Lorcan's voice was getting louder. "Parsons is all over my idiot brother. It doesn't take a Ravenclaw to figure out that's what's changed. He gets to walk all over Lily and then d...ditch her for her b...best friend, and somehow _she's_ the one that loses her friends?"

Lucy shushed him and patted his hand. Mei watched curiously. She knew that Lorcan sometimes stammered, but she had never properly noticed it before.

"If I know Lily, I'm sure she'd figure something out," Lucy said. "And in the meantime she's very lucky to have you acting as her knight in shining armour from afar."

Lorcan blushed. "I just...I don't like seeing her sad."

"I know," Lucy said with a smile. "I wish she could see that. It's lovely how much you care."

"I wish I c...c...cared a bit less," Lorcan muttered. "Then I'd feel like less of an idiot."

Lucy shrugged. "I don't think caring about somebody can ever be a bad thing."

Mei was absentmindedly adding dots of ink to her History of Magic essay around the stab wound from her quill. She didn't think her ideas had been worth much anyway. She might as well let her anger out on the parchment.

Lorcan turned to her and laughed, his expression relaxing. "What did the essay ever do to you, Chang?"

Lucy looked startled, as if she'd just remembered Mei was there, and then immediately looked guilty.

"Sorry, Mei," she said. "You were saying you went to see McGonagall earlier?"

Mei tried not to feel offended. Lucy had been friends with Lorcan much longer than with her, and it was fair that she'd wanted to check Lorcan was okay.

"She wanted to speak to me about Lyra," Mei explained.

"Oh?" Lucy's voice was a little higher pitched than usual.

"They found aconite in her owl's pocket," Mei said, her voice cracking. "Apparently she was taking it herself."

Lucy chewed her lip and looked down at her own work, pausing for so long that Mei wondered if she might not have heard.

"I see," she eventually said. "Did you know about it?"

"Of course not!" Mei exclaimed. "I had no idea! And that's the problem! How can I have not known this part of her? They think she was stealing things from the Greenhouses and probably had an addiction. What kind of friend am I to have not noticed?"

Lucy and Lorcan exchanged a worried glance. Mei thought her outburst was probably embarrassing them, but she couldn't stop.

"Why didn't she tell me?" She cried, voice breaking again. "Why couldn't she trust me?"

Lucy didn't reply. She looked nervous.

Lorcan reached across the table and patted Mei's arm.

"I don't think we ever know everyone's secrets," he said reassuringly.

Mei, with tears in her eyes, looked at Lucy for a response. The older girl was usually so naturally comforting, and in the short while that Mei had known her, she had come to rely on her kindness. After their kiss, she had even thought that they might become something more than just friends. But right now, Lucy just looked lost for words.

"Should I have noticed?" She asked desperately. "Am I a bad friend?"

Lucy shook her head wordlessly. Lorcan suddenly seemed very interested in a scratch on the table.

"Whatever," Mei said, suddenly feeling bitter and cross.

She swung her bag over her shoulder and gathered her belongings into a messy pile in her arms.

"I'm going," she told Lucy.

She waited, hoping Lucy would say something to make her sit back down, but Lucy just opened and closed her mouth like a goldfish.

Mei rolled her eyes and walked out of the Library, trying not to think about the way her heart fell when Lucy didn't call her back.

When she heard footsteps behind her, she spun around, momentarily forgetting that if Lucy had chosen to follow her then her wheelchair wouldn't make this sound. She saw Lorcan and sighed.

"What do you want?" She muttered, knowing it was unnecessarily unkind.

"Lucy wondered...she wanted...she asked if I could check that you're okay," Lorcan said, shuffling his feet awkwardly.

"If she wanted to know, she could have come and asked me herself," Mei said icily.

Lorcan nervously pushed his glasses higher up his nose and cleared his throat.

"She, um, she c...cares about you," he mumbled.

"Well, obviously not enough."

Mei didn't wait for him to respond before walking away.

She had already had dinner, but she wandered over to the Great Hall anyway, thinking she might have a second helping of pudding. As she neared the doors, she was intercepted by Tristan Gorgovitch, followed by a very muddy Ravenclaw Quidditch team.

"Don't let Filch see you trailing all that mud," Mei told Tristan.

"He won't be cross. He likes me." Tristan winked. He waved the rest of the team into the Hall and stopped to talk to Mei.

"He doesn't like anyone," Mei insisted.

Tristan laughed. "That may well be true. How are you? I feel like I haven't seen you much recently."

Mei had been smiling at the idea of Filch liking somebody, but she couldn't stop her face from falling.

"Sorry," Tristan said quietly. "I'm an idiot for asking."

"No, don't be sorry," Mei instructed. "I can't just feel sorry for myself forever. How are you?"

"Traumatised. Collette just had a go at me."

"Collette McLaggen? But you're best friends." Mei looked for Collette in the blue-robed figures of the Quidditch team, and found her already sitting down at Ravenclaw table. Collette slept in her dormitory, but Mei had rarely had much to do with her. Collette spent her whole time with Tristan.

Tristan shrugged. "She's angry. I get it."

"Did you do something?"

"Yes."

Mei wasn't sure whether to ask for more details, but she didn't have to. Tristan seemed to need to talk about it.

"I didn't know she felt like this about me!" He said earnestly. "I never would have slept with somebody else if I'd known. She's my best friend. I'd never do anything to hurt her. But she didn't tell me! How was I supposed to know?"

"I hate to break it to you, but everyone _else_ knew," Mei told him. "She's been in love with you since third year."

Tristan frowned. "So I heard."

"What are you going to do about it?"

Mei knew it was wrong to be enjoying this, but she was grateful for the chance to think about somebody else's problems instead of her own. And Tristan was a nice guy. She was glad to be able to offer him some help. They'd never been particularly close, but six years in the same House made it impossible not to care about each other.

"I don't know," he said. "She says she needs some space, so I guess I have to leave her alone for a bit to think about it?"

He suddenly looked very sad. "I miss her."

"She'll come back to you," Mei said confidently.

They walked into the Hall together. Dinner had nearly finished and most of the tables were empty. The Gryffindor and Hufflepuff tables were both completely deserted, and hardly any Slytherins remained. Lily Potter sat alone by an untouched plate, looking a little bit lost. At the Ravenclaw table, the Quidditch team were sat together, laughing and eating from plates so heaped it was hard to see how they'd ever finish. Collette McLaggen was studiously looking in the other direction.

"Well, I don't think I'm welcome over there," Tristan said, looking hopefully at Mei. "Sit with me?"

Mei nodded and followed him, but stopped when he didn't head towards Ravenclaw.

"What are you doing?" She said sharply.

"Something stupid," Tristan said. "But I told her I'd be her friend. And she looks like maybe she needs that."

"You're too nice," Mei told him, but she followed him over to the Slytherin table.

Lily jumped when they sat down opposite her. She looked just as well put together as usual, with her hair thick and straight down her back and her eyes lined with gold, but she somehow lacked some of her usual presence.

"Potter," Tristan said lightly. "Have you thought any more about my offer to help you overthrow Scamander and reclaim your rightful position on the Slytherin Quidditch team?"

Lily rolled her eyes and didn't reply.

Mei watched them with interest. She hadn't known Tristan Gorgovitch had anything to do with Lily Potter, but he seemed much more relaxed than anyone had the right to be around the former Hogwarts queen.

"You're ignoring me now?" Tristan didn't sound particularly bothered. "That's fine, if it's really what you want, but the offer still stands if you ever want to take me up on it."

"Your girlfriend's giving you a death glare," Lily said disinterestedly. "I think it was potentially not a great idea to sit here."

Tristan turned his head to follow her gaze. Mei looked in the same direction. Collette was watching them, face pale and shocked.

"You don't have to pity me, Tristan," Lily said, standing up.

"That's not how it looks to me," Tristan shrugged. "I know things have been hard, Lils. You've got a lot going on and your friends aren't supporting you. And when I said I couldn't keep...doing what we were doing, that didn't mean I don't care about you at all. I want to be here for you."

Lily laughed cruelly and shook her head. "I don't need you. And they're not my _friends_. They're my followers. They'll come back to me soon."

She abandoned her full plate and left the Hall, hair swishing and catching the light from the candles.

"Well, she's a real delight," Mei said once she'd gone.

Tristan sighed. "She's not that bad really. She's just being defensive."

"Seriously? She just described her friends as her followers."

"Yeah, I guess," Tristan said. "I won't bother next time."

"How do you know her anyway?"

"Long story," Tristan said through a mouthful of food. "It's over now anyway. And all it did was lose me my best friend."

His face fell. Mei looked back over at the Ravenclaw table to see Collette looking equally dejected. She thought back to Lorcan's worry and anger about Lily being left out, and suddenly felt furious with Lily. Too many people seemed willing to turn their lives upside down for Lily Potter.


	17. XVII Hugo

Hugo's hands were buried in soil. He was wearing thick, dragonhide gloves, but could still feel the heavy roots of his shrivelfig through the leather.

Next to him, Abdi was shuffling from foot to foot, looking uncharacteristically anxious.

"You make it look so easy!" Abdi exclaimed.

Hugo shook his head. "You're overthinking it. Just find the roots and give them a stroke. You'll be able to feel any areas that need more support."

Abdi shook his head. "I don't think you understand how talented you are. I can't feel a thing when I try."

"Well," said Hugo, trying to be reassuring. "They've shrivelled up even more than they're supposed to. Those weeks we weren't allowed in the Greenhouses haven't made this easy."

"You can do it though!"

Hugo shrugged. "I don't know. I like plants."

Across the table, Mei Chang laughed. "Understatement of the century, Weasley."

She was layering dragon manure over the top of her plant pot. Hugo had watched her soothe her shrivelfig, smoothing out its roots where she thought it needed it. He wasn't sure she'd found all of its weak points, but she seemed pretty competent.

"Five more minutes!" Professor Longbottom called out.

Abdi groaned. "Mine's going to die."

Without speaking, Hugo withdrew his hands from his own plant pot and reached into Abdi's. Abdi stepped back and watched him.

"You don't have to help me," he said quietly. "You should be finishing your own work."

"Don't be silly," Hugo said. "Help me out and spread some manure over mine?"

He stroked the roots of Abdi's plant, finding hard knots of tension and rubbing them until they relaxed.

"It's embarrassing," Abdi said, scooping manure over the top of Hugo's pot. "You're going to find all my mistakes. I'm not good at this."

"Nah, you've done a great job," Hugo lied.

Abdi smiled at him and didn't reply. Mei was watching them with gleaming, thrilled eyes, but Hugo ignored her.

By the time Longbottom dismissed the class, Hugo had managed to relax Abdi's shrivelfig enough that he was confident it would make its expected growth by next lesson. He washed his hands and shrugged off Abdi's thank yous.

"What have you got next?" Abdi asked him.

"I'm free. You?"

"Same. It's sunny. Thought I might go for a walk?"

Hugo was pretty sure this was an invitation, but wasn't confident enough to reply. It would be embarrassing if Abdi didn't want company.

"Have fun, you two," Mei instructed, saving Hugo the effort of interpreting his friend. "Think of me, trapped upstairs in History of Magic."

"We will," Abdi grinned.

Lily was still at her bench, head bent low over her textbook. Hugo momentarily felt guilty for not inviting her along with them, but he told himself she wouldn't want to come anyway. And if she needed him, surely she'd ask?

Paige Parsons left the Greenhouses at the same time as Hugo and Abdi. She smiled and waved, and Hugo halfheartedly smiled back. They hadn't talked since Lysander had intercepted him and Abdi in the corridor. She looked even worse than she had then. Her hair was less shiny than usual and her skin was dull. She would always be pretty, but she looked like the brightness in her had been turned down.

As Hugo and Abdi walked away from the Greenhouses and towards the lake, Abdi reached out and took Hugo's hand.

"Thanks for your help today," he said in a low voice.

"It was nothing," Hugo insisted.

"It didn't feel like nothing to me," Abdi confessed.

They had walked over to the towering beech tree beside the lake. It had already shed most its leaves in the autumn chill, and the skeletal shape rendered a stunning silhouette against the bright blue sky.

Hugo pulled Abdi's hand to get him to stop walking. Abdi turned to face him.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

"Yeah," Hugo said. "Shall we stop here for a bit?"

Abdi nodded and they sat down and leant against the tree. Abdi rummaged in his bag and held out a chocolate frog.

"Chocolate? It feels like ages since breakfast."

Hugo hesitated, then nodded slowly, closing his hand around the foil wrapper.

Abdi shuffled a little bit closer to him, and something in the warmth of his arm pressed against Hugo gave Hugo the motivation to rip open the wrapper and bite of the frog's head before it could jump away.

The chocolate was thick and creamy and coated Hugo's tongue. He closed his eyes to relish the flavour. When he had swallowed and licked his lips, he passed the rest of the frog back to Abdi. Abdi took it without comment and ate it quickly.

Hugo's throat felt thick from the chocolate but it wasn't an unpleasant feeling.

"Thanks," he said hoarsely.

"For the chocolate? You don't need to thank me for that, Hugo. Chocolate is a basic need for humankind."

Hugo shook his head and gave Abdi a faint smile. "You know it means more than that to me."

Abdi shrugged. He looked a little bit embarrassed.

"I think…" Hugo wasn't sure he should be speaking like this. "I think I feel a bit better around you."

Abdi edged closer to him again.

"What do you mean?" He said in a low voice.

"Well...I'm not sure. I think I can eat around you, sometimes."

Abdi didn't reply. Hugo wished he hadn't said anything.

"That's a pretty big deal for me," Hugo confessed.

"I know," Abdi said slowly. "I'm glad you feel like you can talk to me about this."

"For ages I've only been able to eat meals with my family, and even then not always. And not the whole family. I mean, only really Lily, sometimes. But things have started to change this year. I think it's because of you."

"Don't say that."

Neither boy spoke for a moment. Abdi turned to Hugo and must have seen his agonised expression, because he suddenly looked mortified.

"Oh no, Hugo, I didn't mean I wasn't pleased to hear that," Abdi clarified. "Not at all! I just don't want you to feel like you're only going to get better because of somebody else."

Hugo fiddled with an unravelling thread on the cuff of his robes. He wished Abdi would hug him or squeeze his hand or do _something_ to make him feel like this conversation hadn't been a huge mistake.

"I'm really glad if you're doing better," Abdi said.

"Yeah, well, maybe," Hugo said. "I don't know. I was thinking I might come to the Halloween feast tonight. I wouldn't have done that two months ago."

"And that's fantastic," Abdi said earnestly.

"So why don't you want me to say it?" Hugo was embarrassed but he wanted to understand.

Abdi shook his head. "It's not that I don't want you to say you're better. I just don't want you to say it's because of me."

"But it _is_ because of you."

"No, it's not," Abdi said, shaking his head again. "It's all you, Hugo. You're so fantastic. And I don't think you should feel like you couldn't do this without me. I'm here for you, obviously, and I'm glad I make you comfortable. But even if I wasn't here you'd be able to get better. You're strong."

Hugo frowned and thought about this.

"Have you ever thought about seeing a professional?"

"What, like at St Mungo's?"

"Or somewhere else," Abdi said, voice steady and calm. "Just...I don't think you should be depending on Lily and me for your wellbeing. We both love you, obviously, and we'll both keep doing it, but you might feel better if you see somebody else as well."

"Maybe."

"Just think about it," Abdi suggested. "I'm proud of you."

Hugo gave him a weak smile and then looked back down at the floor. He was silent for a moment, mulling over their conversation, and then something Abdi had just said came back to him.

"You love me?"

Abdi looked embarrassed and tipped his head from one side to the other before slouching down against the tree and staring at his shoes.

"Um...did I say that?"

Hugo nudged his arm. "Yeah, you did."

"Oh…"

It was perhaps the first time Hugo had seen him look completely lost for words. It made him feel unusually bold.

"Hey," he said. "Look at me."

Abdi looked up from his shoes, head tilted towards Hugo.

Hugo bent his head and kissed Abdi. Abdi had chapped, dry lips that somehow felt cool and comfortable against Hugo's. Abdi sat up straighter and leaned into the kiss.

When they heard the gasp from behind them, Hugo tried to ignore it. But when Lily cleared her throat he knew he had to turn around.

"Um, hi, Lils," Hugo said, scrambling to his feet.

Lily's face was pale and her eyes kept flickering between Hugo and Abdi. She looked like she was lost for words, but Hugo knew her better than to believe that was true. She would be thinking carefully, trying to find exactly the right words to get across whatever cruel observation she wanted to make.

"Karimi," Lily eventually said. "Can you give me some privacy with my cousin?"

Abdi stood, up, presumably ready to follow her instructions, but Hugo caught his hand and held him back.

"You don't have to go anyway," he said, then turned back to Lily. "He doesn't have to go anywhere!"

Lily shrugged. "Whatever. Just thought it might preserve his feelings."

"Don't, Lily," Hugo said.

Lily raised her eyebrows.

"Please don't," Hugo pleaded. "I'm happy. He makes me happy."

"Yeah, for now," Lily said sharply. "But seriously, Hugo, how do you think this is going to end?"

"Who says it _has_ to end?"

Next to Hugo, Abdi was looking uncomfortable. Hugo squeezed his hand.

"Oh, come on, Hugo," Lily snapped. "Are you serious? Of course it's going to end. He's not one of us!"

" _One of us_? What's that supposed to mean?"

Lily glanced at Abdi again and shook her head. "Don't make me say it."

"No, I think you should," Hugo said furiously. "Because I can't think of a single good reason why you'd say that. Is it because he's a guy? I wouldn't have thought you'd…"

"Don't be ridiculous."

"Because he's black, then? Because he's muggle-born? Or because he's an immigrant?"

"Oh, shut up, Hugo," Lily hissed. "Do you really think so little of me?"

Hugo stared at her. She was just as beautiful as she'd always been, and nothing in her expression felt unlike her or surprising, but he suddenly felt like he didn't know her at all.

"I don't know what to think," he confessed. "I've finally found somebody who makes me happy. I can't think of any reason why you wouldn't be happy for me."

"I'm not criticising who he is," Lily explained. "Of course I'm not! I don't have a problem with you being with a guy or someone muggle-born or any of that! But...Hugo...we're _us_! We're the elite! You can't just...just get together with an outsider."

Hugo gaped at her. He'd never heard his cousin put her feelings so bluntly.

Lily wasn't finished. "He doesn't fit in, Hugo. He never will. And the sooner you realise that, the better it'll be for both of you."

Hugo couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so angry. His face felt hot and his hands would have been shaking if he couldn't still feel Abdi's fingers inside them. He was too scared to look at Abdi's face and see his expression.

"You've crossed a line, Lily," he said coldly.

Lily rolled her eyes. "I'm doing it for you."

"No," Hugo said. "No. You need to take a serious look at yourself. Have you even noticed what's happened to you this year?"

His voice was getting louder but he didn't know how to stop it.

"I am literally the only person you have left in this castle who loves you," he shouted. "And I'm not even sure I like what I see when I look at you anymore!"

"You don't mean that," Lily said. Her voice trembled in a way Hugo had never heard from her before.

"Yes, I do," Hugo insisted. "Lily...we're done. I'm done with you."

Hugo pulled Abdi's hand and led him away, back towards the castle. He didn't want to look back to see Lily's reaction.


End file.
